Happy Mama’s Day

I just wanted to come through and say Happy Mother’s Day. I don’t care if you’ve never carried a child in your life…if you’ve ever loved someone with the unconditional, unwavering strong love of a mother…then you too, have mothered.

This year, I got to spend a lot of time with my godson and he taught me so much about love, patience, consistency and how to be real (kids can see right through you).

I feel sincerely blessed to have him, whether I ever have a child of my own or not.

Remember to take your reverence of mom all through the year. But, then…that’s how we should treat EVERYONE. No occasional commercial holiday should be the standard for how we treat our loved ones. Each day should be cherished and beheld within our hearts…giving what love we have to those around us.

Be blessed…I love you.

Mother?…F_ck HER!!

I have a damn problem…I have a GOTdamn problem with certain “mothers”. A friend of mine was incensed by something she found out. A close friend of the family, whom she considers a nephew had been molested for 2 years by a family member…and the kicker? His mother knew and did NOTHING! She PROTECTED this fool. Now, I could go into the details of this story…but, my focus is not on the fact that this young man just outed himself as gay…but that his mother is a complete and total asshole.

I need to know…because I’m confused. I am bewildered at the idea that a mother could find out her child was being sexually abused and not do anything. Now, I already know what a lot of folks are gonna say. Circumstances make all the difference right? Like if a woman’s self esteem has been affected to the degree that she needs a man so badly…she’ll protect him when he hurts her or her child. Or that, a family member’s image (or her own) is so important she’d allow her child to be molested over and over…learning the behavior of an abuser, only to either fall victim to the behavior or possibly inflicting abuse onto another child. Oh, how about the fact that it’s been done to them before, so they don’t know any better. Well, before we go any further I will say…to my knowledge I’ve never been abused. I’ve never been raped. Now that we’ve got that out of the way…FUCK THAT! I have children in my family…and I know children who belong to my friends. I have a godson who is 20 months old. If someone were to harm a child “I” know…I’d be a cops-calling, bat-wielding, penile/vajayjay maiming maniac. I’m not protecting ANYONE but the child. That heffa even had the nerve to blame his father for not being there…even though his absence was because SHE didn’t tell him he had a son. Does anyone have a buck? It needs passing…

This is a sickness. It’s as rampant as the AIDS virus and as common as the cold. All to often I hear of kids being raped of their innocence and their rights to be protected. I got so emotional today, because even though the boy in this case is now a young man…he’s still a victim. This will follow him always. He will always remember being taken by a man and not having the chance to BE a man. He will always remember that his mother protected an adult rapist…instead of her young child. He may never understand that his “homosexuality” may be in part to his abuse and not simply “being born” that way. I pray for his psychological self. His spiritual well being and his ability to separate the heinous act thrust upon him from an act of love. I also pray for his mother. That she’ll be able to live with herself after this knowing that she failed…miserably. I also pray that someone comes forward and sends her AND that rapist’s ass to jail…perhaps, they will be “protected” in the system and wont have to be a victim of their own victimization.

Taking out the Trash

This might seem like a petty issue…but, read between the lines.

Living with my mom and sis these past 6yrs has been a blessing. We’ve all managed somehow to conquer some demons based on things that happened in the past. My sister and I have become closer than we could’ve imagined and my mother and I have found some civility in our relationship. We’re closer than we were, but not quite where I’d like to be. I’d love to say that one day we will be, but because I KNOW my mother very well…her personality will NEVER allow for her and I to become respectful counterparts. My mother respects only those who she feels she needs to impress…and even then I feel its phony. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

My recent trip to Alabama showed me something. Independence. Not just mine either, but my mother and sister’s too. While I was gone, they were forced to do certain things, like cook for themselves…clean the kitchen…take out the garbage. Usually, I do all of those things and they sit back and ignore the menial duties around the household. I didnt have to worry or concern myself with cleaning a thing. I believe every adult should have that luxury. “I dont feel like cooking tonight, so I will have a bowl of cereal” No one should have to run around worrying about other grown folk eating unless they are elderly/disabled and need help.

Well, yesterday (Wednesday) my mother walked in from work and asked me if the trash had come. Well of course I look at her funny and say…I dont know. I asked what day it was and she told me. I said well, I didnt realize it was the first Wednesday of the month (the time for paper/boxes to go out). She seemed perturbed. Like I’d gotten on her nerves…but, it pissed me off because I am thinking, if you even THOUGHT about it this morning and yet you walked away thinking, “Kali will do it”…then you’re an ass. SORRY. She gets up the earliest and leaves by or before 7am…the time that the trash is usually already GONE! So, why come in at the 5-6pm hour and ask me that?

NOW. I set my alarm to get up THIS morning, because recycables go out on Thursdays. Plastic bottles, cans, etc. are picked up by 7am…so, I arose at 6:30am. I go to the back door to collect the bin and she sees me and says, “That was YESTERDAY. The trash was yesterday…everything was, because tomorrow is the 4th of July.” I just said, “Well, I didn’t know. I wasnt aware of the holiday.” Why should I? I don’t care about this holiday like that. I know its big on a LOT of people’s list, but not mine. Its another day to me. My question is this. If you KNEW, THOUGHT, or SUSPECTED that the schedule had changed due to holiday…why would you ask me about the shit YESTERDAY at a time of day it no longer mattered, then proceed to get twisted because we missed the opportunity to get rid of this JUNK!?

My issue is this…if you are able-bodied. Aware of the time of which this stuff needed to go, why didn’t you do it yourself? Why lump the SOLE responsibility of handling that onto me? I forget shit, just like you do. I do not concern myself 24/7 with the dates so that I can know when to dump trash and recycables! I live with 2 other people…people who are spoiled. So used to me doing stuff that they feel or seem almost incapable of managing menial chores. Is it beneath them? Do they feel “I” am, because I am home and they’re working? I contribute to this house as well. I deserve respect too. People who work everyday DO come home and clean and cook…but, my mother seriously sometimes treats me like a child who has chores.

I think I am ready to leave. It’s just a matter of time. I am gonna pray on it, and ask God to ready me for my exit…before all of that hard emotional work we went through to get where we are, gets trashed.