I have been kicking around this question for a minute. Do you SEE the people in front of you? I know so many people who probably don’t know JACK about who I truly am. You know how I know? For instance…if I say something “mean” I get the funny looks or gasps in response. Those who know me, know that as much as I am a sweet individual and a bleeding heart…I have the potential to be a meany. LOL. Those who GET me also know that as much as I am an optimist, that I too, get down and need a little fluff from time to time.
I have a tendency to tell people…”I see you”…and I’m not sure they ever REALLY know what I mean. There are the 3 levels of which I mean…because the 4th is superficial. The fourth or “invisible layer” to me is the physical. It is invisible to ME, because it means very little when assessing who a person is at the core. The core is the 1st layer, because it is that person without clothes, pretense or fear of unmasking. It is who they are when no one is around but them. The 2nd layer is the emotions…it’s the vulnerable connection to the core. If you can see this part of someone…you could figure out the key to their soul. The 3rd layer is the mentality. THIS is the part that puts up the guards for protection…emotional sentry-on-duty. It’s the part that purposely hides the emotions and core by building up mental facades. Pretenses and system trips, set for the intruder with screwy intentions. TRUST me, I get it. I’ve let a lot of folks in past the moat and drawbridge…who should’ve been banished on sight from the baileys. LOL Self-preservation is essential to maintaining the core, while the rest compromises for relationships.
Yet, sometimes people’s guards are so impenetrable that the 4th layer is all people see…MAYBE a glimpse of the 3rd. Who IS a person who is all mental and physical? Great conversationalist. Possibly fun to be around? Yet…what bonds you? What is the point of endearment that allows you to melt past the outer layers and see who you’re dealing with? I know that people go through traumas that build up walls of defense, but at some point what deeper thing is there to latch onto other than the debris of past hurt?
I think, that when you’re able to truly see someone…to their core…and love them acceptingly, that is when you’ve made a true connection. When no matter what their other 3 layers may try to hide…you see the core and love it for everything it is and isn’t. If you can’t see that part of someone or aren’t willing to love that part, then you’re not making connections…and that is a lonely place to be.