That’s what my girl Joy says all the time. It’s like…girl, please. Whatever. NEXT!
I think I watch Basketball Wives as a manual on what kinda chicks NOT to kick it with. Perhaps I need Baby Hay Zeus with these dang reality shows…lol Anyway…I wrote a blog about Peppermint Patty & Marcie’s friendship and referenced the chick Evelyn. That chick grates my last nerve. I’m writing this blog here to talk about the relationships we have with our girls and the boundaries we sometimes DON’T create when disclosing our lives to them.
Eric Williams aka Knots Landing (lmao) is (was?) married to Jennifer, one of the wives…well, actually…the ONLY wife. Shaunie is divorced, Evelyn never made it down the aisle, Royce is a girlfriend as is Gloria…and Suzie is dating. Well, Jennifer had been hanging onto her marriage with Eric, even though he’d been unfaithful. What “I’ve” seen of her discussions with her husband, Jennifer seems to be the only one really hanging on. Eric always seemed indifferent to me…like he couldn’t care less if she forgave him and wanted to remain married. I coulda popped his knot…then again…
Look at what’s been going on…
Jennifer’s crew has advised her on more than one occasion to cheat on Eric…to level the playing field. Last time I looked…marriage wasn’t to be played with. S/N: Ladies…no matter WHAT your man does in the relationship…if you do the same you’re gonna be looked at funny style. Women are always going to be held to a higher standard…just because we’re the womb.
I learned a lot in my last “relationship”…and some of those things had a LOT to do with how I communicate my pain to my friends. Our friends are our chosen family…which makes them more dangerous than real family. Why? Well, because when someone has a CHOICE in loving you…the investment can be borderline obsessive. What our friends feel, we feel as well. When they hurt, we hurt. We want to beat a fool down with their own broken arm, just to protect our best friends. True friends go hard for their friends…especially women…because we CAN be emotional. So, when our girls cry in our ears, wet up our shoulders and scream bloody murder…we wanna know, “Where dey at? WHO did it?”. Earrings come off, Vaseline gets passed around and shoes get kicked off. Period. Yet, there is a time when you have to respectfully bow out and allow a woman to handle her business. As much as I’d like to go to bat for my girls…I can only support what SHE is willing to do. However, I would never suggest to a friend that the answer to an already complicated and stressful situation is to sleep with someone other than their mate. ESPECIALLY with a TV audience, where it’s taped and the husband can see that shit in repeats. How are you looking out for your friend’s best interest if your advice is foolish, careless and selfish? Yes, I believe it’s selfish to suggest some shit like that when you know it’s not how your friend gets down. Do you want her to be alone? Single like you? Are you that selfish to say such things because you couldn’t care less about advocating the reconciliation?
Misery, loves, entertains and invites company back…constantly.
Ladies, there’s nothing wrong with loving your girls and confiding in them…but if your girl can’t keep her mouth shut around your dude…quit telling her shit. If she’ll suggest things that go against what you desire with your mate…set her straight on the boundaries and make sure she respects YOUR decisions for your relationship. A true friend will NOT advise you to do what isn’t in your character to do. I always ask my friends, “What do YOU want to do?” If they don’t know what to do, I give them both sides of the coin and options for each…if that inspires them to come to their own conclusion…even better.
No man wants to feel like he’s gotta compete with your friends…and your friends will know she doesn’t have to compete with your man. I miss my friends like crazy when they’re involved…but, I try and put on my big girl pannies and pacify myself with other things. One day, I’ll have a mate and I’ll appreciate my girls giving me the space to be in love.
Any chick who is all about fighting your fights, talking FOR you, doing sneak sabotages with you and your man…all in the name of “friendship”…GIRL, BOOM!