These Three Words

No.

They’re NOT “I love you”.
They’re, “I am sorry”
People rarely say these words anymore…and some who do…almost never mean them. How do I know? The behavior remains the same. There’s no effort to rectify the situation with corrected behavior.
Apology is affirmed through change of action. If someone says, “This hurts me” or better yet you’re convicted by your OWN behavior to feel remorse for hurting someone…it should behoove you to apologize. If by chance your apology is bullshit…to “keep the peace” or shut someone up…save it.
Insincere apologies are normally motivated by a desire to:
  • Not hear one’s own wrongful actions; being unable to withstand guilt
  • Not wanting someone to be angry at them (most assholes don’t like to be the bad guy…isn’t that ironic?)
  • Wanting to remain in control; emotional manipulation is as addictive to the manipulator as it can be to the softer mind of the manipulated
  • Not caring, but simply not wanting to argue
It’s shameful. As with my previous post…I stated that people often do wrong things but want a respect they hardly give. A lot of people feel entitled to a kind of respect and consideration they themselves have never been familiar with. I DO believe that there is a mental imbalance with someone who feels justifiable to use their emotions as a snare and yet will find a reason to be unreasonably angry with someone who in essence is NOT their problem.
On another note…why is it that some people feel better about forgiving the one whose done them the worst harm but NOT the person who they pretty much used as a scapegoat to deflect from being hurt at someone else? I noticed that behavior in a LOT of women. They’ll forgive a man for his slanderous, philandering and manipulative ways…but damn the women involved. How does that work exactly? I can’t imagine embracing the perpetrator and persecuting someone who was victim alongside myself. I’d sooner do away with BOTH people than to accept the person mostly responsible for causing the issue to begin with. If anything, I’d want to ban together and against that person to make sure they don’t win. Nothing is better than uniting and becoming comrades rather than to allow them to cause division. I guess that’s just me though. 
Having said that, some friendships need to stay dead, others need to start from scratch and then there are those who just require some rewiring and that’s all. It’s a wonderful thing to know which is which.
Either way…some people HATE to admit guilt and apologize for their own part in things.
NOTHING in your life is all someone else’s fault. Don’t get stuck on petty principles and then try and justify your inability to see the bigger picture all because you’ve decided to focus on a piece of a puzzle. Let go of that ONE thing that had you slipping…and tally up the total with objective eyes and heart. 
Also remember, that apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re admitting culpability. Sometimes, you just care enough about that connection and don’t wanna lose them. 
(Even though…if you’re always the one apologizing….you might wanna consider who your friends are)
This has been a message delivered by the Kween herself…my message deliverer is drunk behind the stables.
Peace!! 

Looking Asses

I am taken aback…

That folks in their 30’s and 40’s are still playing mind games. That women who are grown and have children or just are GROWN…still pursue men on and offline like a cat in heat. That men who define themselves by the length of their dick, still act like children with no aim. I on the other hand…just wanna be at peace, live, laugh, love and learn. That’s it. Keep the rest.

Let me tell you…2011 is NOT the year to fuck with me. I’m not lying down for ANY bullshit. I WILL step and I WILL blast you! So many times before, I let etiquette and decorum dictate my steps. I’m over it. I’m STILL a lady…STILL a kween, but even a kween has to exact some action when fools start trying to infiltrate her peace of mind.

I had a convo with a dear sister friend and I was once again reminded how the lies of a MAN had tainted my online reputation. A site we used to be on had me looking like some desperate bitch who needed to be loved and wanted to be just like some other woman! WOW. I’m glad that I know who I am and I’m BLESSED that I have real friends who know better. I don’t sweat the small stuff usually, but this bit me on the ass in a hard way. I don’t feel that, believing in someone is desperate…it’s called LOVE you assholes!! Trusting your friends to keep your confidence isn’t VIOLATING or BETRAYING someone else…or being catty or being a bitch. If I’m talking to someone I call a FRIEND and they runteldat…that’s not MY fault…it’s Mouth Almighty’s fault. Contrary to the rumors and lies of little people with little else to do than discuss me…I don’t thrive off drama. Drama makes the underside of my breasts itch…keep that shit. One thing is for sure…if you wanna know if I said some shit…ASK…I PROMISE I’ll tell you if I did or didn’t, but if you’ve made up your mind already that I’m some petty bitch…then stay over ——>THERE!!

Anyway, I find that some of the same people who were in my circle then made it over to Facebook with me and honestly…I know there is this dark cloud that follows me. The only way for the myth to be dispelled is for folks to be enough of an independent thinker to say, “Hmm, I wanna get to KNOW her…”. Otherwise, it’s like a red letter sloppily stitched onto my chest. Truth is, EVERY guy online who I’ve ever been “involved” with…pursued me. They had to CONVINCE me that they really were interested and wore me down after months of convo. I’ve never…EVER seen one dude and been like, “Let me roll up on that.” Nope. I mind my business…and then because these men on the Internet have a gang of stans…I end up the bane of some bitch’s existence because she thinks I’m a threat. One thing I’ve NEVER done is befriend someone so I can see how close they are to my love interest. If you’re still doing that in 2011…

GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!

I ain’t ask dude to holla…
I ain’t ask dude to rope YOU in…
I ain’t ask dude to lie to you…
I ain’t ask for none of it!

Take your LOOKING ASS…and SAT down! Leave me alone. You REALLY won’t like me if I gotta tell your ass that shit again!

That’ll Getchu Popped!

…Infamous words of Tami Roman of Basketball Wives on VH1.

That was her first real encounter with Meeka Claxton. She doesn’t like for folks to “put their hands up” because it makes her “defense mechanism” go off and she feels the need to defend herself. That statement in the title of this blog was her first “warning” to Meeka that getting too excited would get her knocked the fugg out. I personally saw it more than once and I honestly don’t think that’s what set Tami off. I didn’t see Meeka’s hands go up, but hey…it’s all about perspective, right?

I’ve been watching it from the beginning. Reality TV is my guilty pleasure. It is not an indicator of my intelligence (so many people say that people who watch this kind of television have low IQ’s or are ghetto…I am neither) so that isn’t it. Since watching I’ve come to like and dislike certain people. I’ve come to like Tami and even Evelyn at times. Jen is kinda flaky, Shaunie is a sneaky mofo (c) embezzlement of her ex-husband’s funds. Royce is cool…a firecracker. Suzie is a shit-starter and Meeka is her protege it seems. By far, Tami is my favorite. Funny thing though…back when she was on Real World II, I liked her initially but then became angry at her when she got David ousted from the house.  He was wrong, but I felt like it went beyond the normal reaction to the situation.

Now…the other night, Tami smacked/punched Meeka in the face. I totally get the reasons why she got mad. I for one am about thinking twice. Being the rash person Tami is, her gut reaction was to clock her co-star in the face. (The bish WAS tryna start shit…but, still).  You have to learn to walk away from a situation like that. If you know you’re dealing with a dirty little, messy little liar…you expose her and ignore her. Like she says in this interview with Necole Bitchie…you’re given an option to whether you want to film with someone. If she didn’t want to deal with Meeka she could’ve put herself in a position of protection by not filming. The outcome of that folly…is the fight.

A lot of people online have been split down the middle with the occasional understanding of both sides. Some feel Tami is ghetto, over-the-top, crazy and an attention whore. Some feel that Meeka deserved everything she got being the messy, petty bish she is…some feel that the show in it’s entirety is a smudge on the already questionable reputation of Black people and especially Black women. This is where I stand on the topic…

In the REAL Real World…in the communities where sistas are from, Tami is a prize. In a world where chicks are back-stabbers and liars…to have someone shed light on any topic…however hostile, is still a breath of fresh air. Tami is not dumb by any stretch of the imagination. She’s actually bright and very articulate. She’s just crazy as fuck got anger issues. LUH you Boo, but you need to touch on some anger management classes. At 40 it’s not cool to pop off on everyone who gets you mad. I know how frustrating it can be to have someone look you in your eye and tell you a lie like they believe that shit…and WANT to put your fist through their throat…but you can’t. There ARE consequences. Legally you can go to jail or be liable financially. Socially, you’re fulfilling the statistic that we’re just some wild animals who possess no self-control. In spite of her brash honesty, Tami will always be pegged the ghetto, classless one because of these episodes of “reality”.

Now…chicks like Meeka? She’s that chick you DO want to bash in her forehead. She’s the chick you can’t trust worth a damn and you find out down the road that you don’t even really know her. She came into the situation messy. Without meeting Tami or Royce she’d already put them in a bag. What was so funny about THIS is that, had she be an equal opportunity hater…she would’ve felt the same way about Shaunie and Evelyn. Shaunie TORTURED Gloria in the second season of BBW over something that wasn’t even Gloria’s fault. She should’ve taken her beef to Gloria’s sister about Shaq, but instead she menaced Gloria until she left the show. Evelyn did the same to Suzie. She may have had a point initially…Suzie runs her mouth too much…but, she made it impossible for that woman to co-exist. If you don’t like her…sit on the far side of the table, don’t bash her, nit-pick and argue each time you see her. It’s childish. Evelyn is also the same person who knew the entire time she was bonding with Tami…that she’d slept with her husband. Evelyn missed the WHOLE damn point and made it about the man. NO slowmo it wasn’t about the man!! It was about the fact that she knew she’d done it and didn’t feel the need to disclose that info to Tami upon their newly burgeoning friendship. Then proceeded to undercut her wife status with the “Non Motha-Fuckin Factor” remark. Yet, Meeka didn’t seem fazed by these things. She BADLY wanted to be on this show and wrote Shaunie more than once for the “opportunity” to be there. Why didn’t she prejudge Shaunie and Evelyn? Well we know the answer. She didn’t because she wanted to be IN the CIRCLE. So she took action against the two people who at the time were on the outs with one or more of the “Popular Bitches”.

If you know you’re dealing with a woman who would pop you in your shit at the first sign of beef…why then would you go IN on her? Did you think this wouldn’t happen? Or was that your plan, Meeka from the jump? …Disparage Tami and fill her spot while attacking her pockets at the same time? If folks are gonna bring attention to some shit…bring attention to her shit-starting ass because she loves drama EVERY bit as much as she claims Tami does.

How about bring attention to the Puerto Rican chick who flew all the way to California to dump water on a chick. Who this season threw an ACTUAL GLASS at Royce. She could’ve put her eye out, but no one is bashing HER. No, they’re choosing to go in on the Black woman.

What about the White chick, who can’t hold WATER for 10 seconds and runs her mouth every chance she gets. The CATALYST to issues between Evelyn and Royce, Shaunie and Gloria, Tami and well…everyone…yea.

YES sistas…we need to stop some shit. We need to think more and react less. This is true…but, we’re not the only chicks who go in. Watch Real Housewives of NJ, Orange County, Beverly Hills, Jerseylicious, Jersey Shore, etc. You will see shit being thrown and yes…even blows. It’s a WOMAN thing…not a BLACK WOMAN thing. WOMEN need to find their class and lady-like ways again. It’s imperative that we do that for our young daughters coming up with big eyes looking at us like a mirror.

Truth is…”we” can’t REALLY “afford” to let these things happen. Other races get to act a fool and the memory of those things are short and fleeting. It’s the NeNe Leakes’, Tami Roman’s, and Naomi Campbell’s who hit the headlines with negative feedback that get the backlash. Like I said in a previous blog…folks went in on A. Keys for her indiscretion w/Swizz Beats (lending NO accountability to HIS married ass) but, everyone LOVES themselves Angelina Jolie’s husband-stealing ass. Right? Matter of fact…some mag called Jennifer Aniston a home-wrecker for reaching out to Brad. Like REALLY? *smh at the utter hypocrisy of folks*

I pray that the lawsuit brought against Tami isn’t too detrimental to her pockets. I have to tell you…though I know she was wrong, I feel like Meeka was on some manipulative, premeditated bullshit to nudge HER way into the spotlight. It’s not everything it seems folks…pay attention to all sides…and remember, we’re hardest on our own. We don’t have to be…the rest of the world does a bang-up job for us.

I Need to Kayo the T.O. Show


Last night I watched a little bit of “The T.O. Show” on VH1 and was shaking my head a little…well, a lot. If you don’t know, the T.O. is for Terrell Owens and he’s got his two friends as his PR’s…or did they become friends after they took him on as a client? Oh, who gives a damn…anyway…these chicks are funny.

Now, the reason I’m writing on these folks is because I had a couple of questions based on the show’s last episode. Picture it: Moe is getting re-married and Kita throws her a bachelorette party. T.O. gives Kita his credit card for Kita to pay for the festivities. Firstly, knowing that Kita would bring Moe to the Palms…T.O. shows up with Moe’s husband and proceeds to entertain him across the pool in her eyesight while other women dance on him. Can someone say, “Incite a Black Woman 101”? *EPIC FAIL* Then the ladies proceed to go the hotel room where they have a pole dancing instructor to come in and teach the ladies how to pole dance. *sidebar* That chick was RIDICULOUS! She was swinging on the pole…hanging from her toes, looking something like a flag with this one trick where she’s virtually floating in mid-air. *back to the blog* SO, after those feats of gymnastic impossibility…in comes the obligatory police officer with the warning of noise violations. Moe already knows the drill because she hired him herself! Now, while Moe is having fun with Officer Friendly Pants…Kita is blocking. She’s getting in between Moe and the stripper, saying how it’s tacky. The girls are holding her down so Moe can get her lawful grind on…when BLAM! T.O. shows up with the whole bachelor party. Moe’s husband is now seeing his wife sitting in a chair while a half naked man is giving her a whiff of his sac. Yet, this “visit” is because moments before…T.O. was tipped off by the hotel concierge that the bill was up and towards the tune of $15,000. *pause* Now, people…remember that T.O. handed his credit card to Kita. Did he give her a spending limit? (not on camera he didn’t) So, why is this man…who just dropped almost $200k on a chain not too long ago concerned about money he can wipe his ass with? WHY is he kicking the door in on this bachelorette party? (Is this reality drama provided by producers? “No, don’t wait Terrell…do it now…for the cameras”) I mean, he couldn’t pull Kita to the side and ask her what the financial FLUCK was going on with the tab? Why crash AND end the party? So ONE of my questions is, “Was he being a cheapskate?”. These two women work for him and are probably the reason he’s making a reality show, since most people could care less what the hell he’s doing…so, if you handed your plastic to a chick and said, “Here…I’ll pay for it”…should you have not been clear as to limits and what not? My girl says it’s different when someone else is spending your money…but, then you shouldn’t hand over your credit card to a woman planning a party. *EPIC FAIL*

NOW…here’s the kicker question. How do you feel about this scenario?

You already read that Kita was hating on Moe’s stripper. Didn’t think it was classy. (My girl Renee, says that it could’ve been for career concerns since they’re business women and on TV) Now, after T.O. kicks the door in on the bash and invites the ladies to combine parties…they are all eating at a table. Kita decides then, in front of everyone to say that Moe’s stripper was tacky. Moe asks if Kita is saying SHE is tacky? Of course, Ms Smart Ass says,”Well you said it not me.” They begin to argue and Kita does indeed call her tacky among other things…and Moe gets upset as well citing her friend as a hater who is jealous of her wedding. Well, it all leads to Moe finally asking to speak to Kita alone and telling her of how she didn’t appreciate being considered tacky…and especially not in front of folks. She took it as a personal affront to herself and the friendship and after saying how she felt, with Kita refusing to admit wrongdoing…Moe ordered her out of her wedding. *EPIC FAIL* T to the O to the rescure…yea, I said rescure. He wants to know what’s going on and she says she’s gone and leaves Las Vegas. Did yall get that?

I personally think that Kita is in secretly in love with T.O., I think she is slightly jealous of Moe’s nuptials…and I do believe that in spite of how a bachelor/bachelorette party is “supposed” to go…the nastypants dancer could’ve come off a little classless for their combined business on TV. I’ve been seriously reconsidering my guilty pleasure…reality tv. At least not the ones where my people look a monkey doodle fool for America…as if we need ANY help there. *quietly turning from Real Chance of Love 2*

Here’s the episode…see for yourselves.

Moments With Mahogany…and Chap…and Mama…lol


What it do, what it Do!! Alrighty…last night, I visited Mah’s 2nd show since returning to the Blogtalk arena. Her topic was “Love, Sex, Money and the drama behind it…”, where she correlated the way marriages/relationships affect money affairs…how sex is used (and it is) in love to get what you want…and drama.

I came with Butterfly Effect who made her appearance and then fluttered off to bed. Mah’s friends, Toshiko and Cocoa Carrington were in the building and the Mama came through, calling in to shut it down as usual. Later da Monstah and a few others came through, including DownSouthGaGirl. Mah asked me to call in so I did, which was cool.

One of the biggest things I do agree with the Mama on is that in a marriage a woman should hold her man down. PERIOD. Sex should never be denied, his ego should be stroked and she should definitely feel like in spite of being the one at home (if she does stay home), the wife should still feel valued and given control of the family and home’s affairs.

Then we headed off to Mr. Chap’s place over at the morning show site and had an after party, where the discussion continued. Somehow, Mama put me on the hot seat about boo-boo AKA SHIT and then farting, then farting during sex…then SQUIRTING! She decided to out me and say I’d never squirted based on my answer of no farting during sex. (still laughing at that) I was totally embarrassed, but it was all good. Then Mah, Mama and Chap roasted me good on a few rounds of “Gimme 5” which I sucked at. (blame it on the late night hour of 2am) LOL

I enjoyed myself with them. A good time was had and there was no question that we began winging it after a while. REAL fun is never scripted!

That’s Whats Up!