The Status I Blogged




**This began as a status update on Google+ and I decided it was so lengthy (didn’t mean to go on and on) that it made more sense to blog it and link it to my social media**


I have been a “militant” woman since I was 17 yrs old and experienced my first Black Studies class in Mt. Vernon High School. Learning the difference between complexions and features, in regards to what makes a beautiful (c) attractive face. Learning the difference between an Afro-Centric POV and a Euro-Centric POV. Unlearning to learn. I’ve been doing that for almost 30 years now (I’m 40 for those who don’t know) and I’ve playfully called myself Kali X. I didn’t believe in the justice system…and then OJ was acquitted. I then got to see biopics like Hurricane, and rescinded my shortly restored belief in progress. 

Last night’s acquittal of Zimmerman stoked the flames of latent militancy in me. It’s not that the other stories went unnoticed. I saw most of them. Praying for families and justice. I was incited and made sad by them all. Yet, something about this one was an awakening. It doesn’t drown out the other lost lives and injustice. Not at all. One can feel strongly connected to something without overshadowing the next important thing. 

It’s like people…

 Just because I have a connection with one over the other doesn’t make the other insignificant. We can’t see EVERY thing and know EVERY one. Don’t be so hard on others for not seeing the other cases that are similar or as important to Trayvon’s. We connect where we can. Just know that caring at ALL is something that needs respect. Especially, in a society where we’re numb and desensitized to the news and it’s daily casualties. That’s lesson 101 in “Save our Community”. STOP telling people how to care and how to rally. 

We’ve been conditioned for so many years to mind our business and protect home over everything else. A lot of us were raised in communities that valued the motto, “Snitches Get Stitches”. It was encouraged to keep your opinion to yourself. Think of the days before the civil rights, where a Negro would see another being unjustly beat, punished or accused…and if he wanted to keep his and the lives of his family safe…he’d better pretend he didn’t see it.

THAT kind of conditioning has been taught, subtly generation after generation. Kind of like how kids were taught to be seen and not heard. So, it’s got to be understood at some point that it would be easiest for people to turn their heads. 

Back to my point. Due to that indoctrination of our people…it’s admirable when someone decides to put down the fear of retribution and pick up a petitioner’s pen, or a picket sign, or a blackened profile pic. In whatever way someone can show support…respect that. Speaking against the efforts, however small…of other people is the VERY reason we can never come together and unify. SOME one always knows a better way and therein lies the start of division.

I’ve been quiet since the verdict. I’ve read the statuses, tweets, reblogs and Instagram pics and I’ve chosen to remain quiet til now. 

I don’t know about anyone else…but this has created a fear in me. A good kind of fear though. An awareness, if you will. It’s a re-awakening back to the knowledge of reality. We HAVE to start teaching our kids how to protect themselves. They have to understand that we’re living in anarchy. It’s not in full swing yet, but it will be. The Age of Aquarius dictates that in order for there to be peace…the old ways, the old foundation of government, history of politics, must be torn down. Only then can a new world be built. 

That was my thought today…maybe I’ll come back and blog some more later. 

Peace, Kweendom



Almost…

We’re almost finished this challenge. A lot of us are on our last day…a few still struggling down the middle (mostly due to unforeseen issues) and the rest are on the heels of myself and a few others.

I just want to say THANK YOU!!! Thank you all who have participated and those who have taken the time to read and take a piece of us with you. I don’t know one person involved in this challenge that didn’t get in and roll their sleeves up. Some of you shocked me with your honesty…some of you showed me a more tender side to you. All in all…I had a wonderful time with this cathartic exercise in Love & Truth.

I got beat up a little…some inboxes, trips to my Facebook wall…even a few shout outs mid-blog. Folks was hunting me down at times wanting to know, “What in the hell is up with these questions, Kali?” …Not so much because they weren’t “good” questions but because they were the kind that made people dig up the past and come face to face with a few things they may have thought they were over. Hell, even I was feeling some kinda way about the questions. I didn’t figure into account while posing them that I’d be answering as well. I could’ve kicked my OWN ass a few times. LOL

I hope that you all received the heart of this challenge. It was made to give us a glimpse into our past and present while giving us a cleaner slate for the future.

Again…THANK you dear loves…

Leelee, you went hard. I saw things in your blog that broke my heart for you. Your utter honesty about YOU and how you see yourself was refreshing and fearless at the same time. I genuinely had to ask myself at one point was I…the creator of this damn challenge, being nearly as candid as you were. KUDOS and hats off to you, sis.

Maria, I remember you wanted to do this challenge when I mentioned it…you were pretty excited. Well, now…you pretty much tell me everyday how you can’t wait for this shit to be over. LMAO Nonetheless…I applaud your commitment. You didn’t give up and I’m so very proud of you.

Budda, You brought it girl…but, then I knew you would. Raw, to the point, and willing to look within. I enjoyed your blogs and I’m sure that if/when we pull another challenge out the air…you’ll join and bring it all over again. ((HUGS))

Tina, I know this challenge got a little rough for you, too. I pray that being able to say certain things made things a little easier…even if only in retrospect. I appreciate you so much…I love when people push themselves emotionally to get to a point past fear. Sometimes THAT is the only reward…that you did it when you didn’t think you could. 😀

Gina, you jumped in at the last minute and took off out the gate like a prize greyhound. LOL You were blogging your little heart out. Love it…still have to catch up…give mama a minute. LMAO

Monica…you too, jumped in like a woman trying to swim her way to shore. Your offerings were nothing less than full on memoir quality. This challenge was made for people like you…those seeking to reconcile their memories and pain with who they are today. I’d say you’ve got a pretty good hold on who you are. Stay creative and thank you for showing love to everyone involved.

Mahogany…my Bookie. 😀 Of course I expected NOTHING less from you than the raw, unabridged, unadulterated truth. You’re always bare to your readers so I’m always proud to have you on the blog roll. LOVE you, Ladybug

Joy, I know you’re catching up to yours AND my challenge. A lot has jumped off since we started the erotica challenge almost 2 months ago. I’m still proud that even if only in drips…you continue trying to finish. Whether you do or not…I’m sure you’re on your way to a wonderful new place of peace and love. (((HUGS)))

Kena, I know you barely got through yours, but I still appreciate the effort. Hopefully next time you will make it to the 30th day 😀 lol

Dee, I made you last…because you were the inspiration behind this challenge. When ending the erotic one, you mentioned needing a reason to write because having to write everyday helped you a lot. As soon as you said that this challenge popped into my mind. Thanks for the inspiration, the support and the honesty. You were NO slouch in the “tell-all” department. You gave all you had and shared things that I know where hard for you, especially since they were on the surface at the time. Thank you sis…LOVE you oodles!

These ladies are writing BESIDES their part in my challenge. Their links are on the side under “Dem Challenge Takers” so please hit them up and see what they’re giving us. They all are different, yet entertaining, educational and crazy as all get out. LOL Show them some love please…

**Almost home**

~Kween

#300

This post is NOT my 300th post. LOL The one before it is, but I couldn’t let it go by without commemorating it through blog. So, lemme see…what can I share with you? OH! Thank you for every “scoper”! All 99 of you! For the faithful readers who pop up the moment my newest blog hits the dashboard…to the ones who I haven’t see in a while, but started out with the zeal of new love! For my muse, who often disappears and then kisses me dead on the lips at the damnedest times. Here are some facts about this blog:

*I started this blog back in 2008 as sort of a “secret” blog because the now defunct social site Yahoo 360 had too much drama!
*I (the ‘human dictionary’ as my family calls me)…misspelled the word kaleidoscope in the URL. By the time I caught on, people were already used to it the wrong way. (I still spelled the blog’s name right in spite of)
*It is because of my girl Yesha aka flyblackchick, that I even blog in THIS fashion. I was used to a whole other way of blogging until I came to Blogger.com where the freedom to write is totally different than places like say Facebook or MySpace.
*I have FIVE blogs all together:
     ~Passion’s Fruit (erotica)
     ~Kween Can Burn (cooking)
     ~Words on Wings (poetry)
     ~Fancy Face Kreations (my page for graphic enhancement)
*The most used tag on my blog is “Kween Kiwi” 😀
*I have layout/design ADD and change often (it’s time again) I simply CANNOT go an entire year with one layout. One year I changed it almost every other month. I long for the perfect design that begs to remain. (any offers for design rights? 😉
*I found out one day while researching butterflies (my signature) that another name for a swarm of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope! How apropos!! Right up my alley! 😀

All in all…I love my little blog. It’s where I pontificate upon love, life, relationships, news, funnies…and most recently, the home of the Love & Truth Challenge. I pray that those who read any of my offerings…learn, grow, get inspired and understand me a little better. THANK you for being here through 300 (well, 301) posts. Here’s to 300…well, 301 more! 😀

Congratulations to my Kaleidoscope!!

30 Day Love Truth Challenge

Well, if you didn’t know by now…I’ve been participating in a 30 Day Erotic Truth Challenge over on Passion’s Fruit. So far, I’m on my 27th day which means in 3 more days…it’s finite! Having said that…the other day, my sistar Dee and I were talking. She mentioned how she was thoroughly enjoying the erotic challenge. Besides the very intimate and often interesting questions being asked…she admitted that it fueled her need to write. She said she wished there were another challenge to do, so that she could continue stretching and exercising her pen muscles.

Enter, me…Thee Kween *nodding royally* 😀

Being the chick I am…I love love. Not just romantic love, but LOVE. True human love, given to one another without condition and fears. I have NO issues with love…just people. lol

I decided, to be to a LOVE challenge, what Ms. Almond Joy was to an EROTIC one. I sat down and penned in less than 30 minutes…30 questions geared toward love. Beginning in about 3-4 days (giving all of the ladies a chance to wrap up their questions) …the Love Truth Challenge ala Kween.

My hope, is that within this challenge…there will be epiphanies and bright light bulbs popping off within each participant. When I did my FIRST truth challenge (click here), it was enlightening and helped me get through and over a few things. This erotic challenge is also showing me parts of myself. Those things that I didn’t consider or had skewed views of have definitely been presented to me in different ways from reading the blogs of 5 other women who have consistently and steadily kept up. (We excused 2 bloggers, Almond Joy and Diva Processor for trials and tragedies unforeseen).  You can catch up on those other wonderful ladies and their truths in links listed below.

I will create a banner for the challenge and once I post the list…the challenge is open to anyone who wants to join in. Pass it around, Join in…or just read what others are confessing. Either way…it’s going down. Soon!!

Stay tuned, Scopers! 🙂

Epiphanies and Musings by Afrodeezha

In My Thoughts by Mahogany Dymond

The Sun Room by Sundae Simpson

Drippin’ Budda by Lykebudda

M$Behavin’s Madness by LeeLee Ain’t MsBehavin

A Book Review…

Let me first THANK Ms. Katlynne aka Ms. Downlow herself, for being such a support system. She rocks like spiked stilettos!!

Not only has she been an encouraging force since we made acquaintance on her blog “My Downlow Life“…but she’s penned TWO books and given me the biggest compliment you can give someone…public accolades. lol

Needless to say, each time I read her “Thank You’s”, I was blown away that she felt inclined to put in print, her appreciation for me as a friend and fellow author.

Now…the book.

If you look onto the right column on this page and scroll down, you’ll find a picture of her first book, alternatively titled, “Life on the Low: Creepin’ with Hip Hop”. Hit that. GET that and READ that. The first book takes you through the story’s damsel-turned-vixen, Katlynne’s life. Her life as a law student and wife…and all the drama that ensues when her nearly perfect existence is turned around. You feel her, you root for her and at times…you wish you WERE her. Who wouldn’t want to go from living a life of pulling yourself up by your boot straps…to being thrown head first into the surreal life of celebrities? She makes you feel it!!

The Sequel? Wow…I started this book at almost 10am on a Saturday morning. I did NOT turn my TV on all day until I had finished sometime around 7pm. That includes cat naps and a meal or two. The sexiness of BOTH books is hot enough to make you want to conjure up a lover on the spot. I think I “cricketed” my way through the entire read. LOL

I was more than happy with the book and the ending was FIRE!!! I mean, FIYAH!! I am now tapping my fingers waiting for her to pull the THREEQUEL out of her ass. LOL

DO buy this book. Not just because I said so (well, yea…because I said so, lol) …but, because and besides the fact that she’s a story weaver and a titillating seductress…but, this woman single-handedly published her own work. She took the bull by the balls (yea, I know it’s horns…but this is erotica) and did the foot work. Now, her book comes up on Amazon alongside the Erotic Godmother, Zane.  Her project deserves support and not only would SHE appreciate it…but, so would I. 🙂

Click the pic of the cover to send yourself to Amazon and pick it up!!

Deja Vu: MORE Truth!





Beyonce: “…Jay…”
Jay-Z: “Are you ready?”
Beyonce: “…let’s get’em…”


[Jay-Z Rap]
I used to run base like Juan Pierre
Now I run the bass hi hat and the snare
I used to bag girls like Birkin Bags
Now I bag B ([Beyonce:] Boy you hurtin’ that)
Brooklyn Bay where they birthed me at
Now I be everywhere, the nerve of rap
The audacity to have me whipping curtains back
Me and B, WE about to sting
Stand back



YES! That whole intro (and the name of the blog and song) is PERFECTO! 


VERY soon, a blog challenge inspired by the previous 30 day TRUTH challenge that a few of us participated in…will come about for the erotically inspired!


My girl BE is working on a 30 day challenge of truth for the oh so sexy in us. You will be getting a full post of the 30 topics to be blogged on and if you have a regular blog…you may be inspired to either spice up your regular one…or create a special one like BE’s and mine: Almond Joy’s Sweetness and Passion’s Fruit isn’t for the weak…you WILL go into suga’ shock messing with us. LOL


SO “Let This BE a Warning” that you can either hop on and participate, sit back and masturbate (lol) and/or bring someone to help you “appreciate” the “Erotic’s 30 Day Truth or Dare Challenge”…soon to come, to some sexiness near you! 😉

Dia Treinta~ A Letter To Self (Dear Me)

…tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself!

First…THANK YOU! Thank every person who read my month of truth and showed me unending support. THANK you for inspiring, being inspired, understanding, laughing and willing to learn more about me with an open heart. This challenge was sometimes fun and sometimes it was a pain in the ass. At times I didn’t want to reveal certain things. I DO believe that some shit just ain’t meant to be disclosed to an audience of many. So, thank you. For loving me past my truth and in spite of.
Now, the letter…

Dear Me,

I love you…more than I ever have. You’re quite the chick, you know that? You’re not too shabby…

I love that you’re growing at leaps and bounds. Owning your voice, your life, your love, your purpose. I love that you’re forgiving and nurturing…that in spite of “what others would do” you stand in the face of possible ridicule and heads shaking. “Kali, you’re better than me…” is a phrase you’ve come to embrace rather than cringe at. I mean, who wants to be known as the town pushover? No one…but, THAT is just IT…you know that it’s not about being a pushover, or gullible, or naive…it’s about owning your stride. It’s about harnessing your own power rather than give it away for another to dangle like a carrot at their whim. You GET IT! You get that life happens and that even though you may be a certain way…everyone’s not you. You get that everyone whose friend YOU are…may not be yours! You get that falling in love and being vulnerable isn’t STUPID…it’s LOVE. (I just heard Jill Scott’s “It’s Love” in my head).


I love you, girl. You’re smart but not pretentious. Fun but not a clown. Sweet but no fool. Strong but no bully. (I pretend to be but the truth is…do you). You kinda sorta maybe definitely know you’re pretty…but you’re not superficial. You know that you’re loved and yet you’re not afraid to face solitude. (LOVE my own company)


You’re humble. You’re honest. You have a child-like innocence, but you’re a realist. You don’t CARE what people say about how “inexperienced” you are because, ironically…with all people’s “experience”…they still somehow end up coming to YOU! (yea, I said that shit).


See! That right there! You’re back! You’ve grown into your spine and that’s a wonderful thing.

I’m proud of where I come from. My stock. My clan. My peoples…and I’m proud of who I am today. I know I’m God’s child and I know more than ever who he’s commissioned me to be. My legacy will not be televised…it will be told…from heart to heart…and I love that.



Love Always, from this life into the next…


Kween!

**peace to this challenge and onto the next**

Dia Viente y Nueve~ Something I Hope To Change About Myself…

…and why.
Not quite sure. There’s a lot of things that could use a little tweaking. In the beginning of this truth challenge…I mentioned my fear, but I do believe that I am learning to use that fear as a barometer for my decision making. I do think that I’m getting to a point in my life that anything that I thought was hard has become easier…not EASY, but easier.
I DO think I can work on my sensitivity. Not sure how to do it though. I want to be able to shake off hurts quicker. Who wants to be a gaping wound? I know I don’t. I wish that I could find the ability to be Rick James cold to some shit. I don’t want to be so “tender”.
Being a bleeding heart is a full time, exhausting and trying job. YES, it’s a job! A thankless one at that. I’m learning to curtail my desire to help EVERYONE. Some folks LIKE wallowing in dysfunction and being the whipping boy/girl. So many people love the attention that comes with being the victim and/or being the savior. I call it the “heroic victim syndrome”.  People who wear fragile capes of triumph, yet are always the ones who get hurt. I can’t imagine a life of never EVER being at fault. I try to be accountable for my place in every situation…even if it just means admitting that I did nothing in lieu of something. That’s another thing I need to work on. Discerning the act of quitting with the instinct of self-preservation. Sometimes you just have to jump ship instead of stagnantly floating amidst the debris.
So yea, those are some things I wanna work on…AM working on. Change is a core transformation. It’s a journey that begins with you and your higher power. It doesn’t happen overnight nor is it most successful when done out of expectation. REAL change is for you and shouldn’t have any roots in the need for outside validation. It is the essence of the butterfly…metamorphosis of the soul. I want to earn my wings. 🙂

Dia Viente y Ocho~ What If I Were Pregnant…

Lil Kween tryna mother baby cousin





…or got someone pregnant?


Well, that last part makes me either a freak o’nature or my mind dick is POTENT! LOL


Sooooo…if I were pregnant. Well, that would require some sort of sexual activity or willingness on my part to be a surrogate mom or an invitro patient.


Let’s just say I DID do the pelvis pop with someone and got knocked up I’d be happy…as long as it was with someone who could be a full participant in parenthood. If I did manage to get fertilized by the neighborhood “gardener” who tended to NOT tend to his seeds…I’d still accept my gift and do the best I could to be a great mom.


I’ve wanted to be a mom for a long time. I always get the side eye from mothers. “Why do you want kids?” or the infamous “Be lucky you DON’T have anyone else to be responsible for…”.


~sigh~


I get the whole “it-takes-money-time-energy-youth-patience-and GOD” to raise a village…or at least a few denizens in your personal hut…but, I always wanted the experience of carrying to full term a child who shares my DNA and my idiosyncrasies and getting to see them form into their own person. At 38, the reality of this happening dwindles a little more everyday…especially with no real candidate for a husband. Either way…if I were pregnant…I’d thank God for trusting me with someone else’s life and do my best at not screwing them up. lol

Dia Viente y Siete~ What’s The Best Thing Going For You Right Now?



Life…

Life and everything that is me IN it. I love the fact that I’m happier with myself than I’ve ever been. I love me. I love that I’m blessed with family and friends. I feel like I’m doing God’s work in some small way everyday. I feel like I’m growing closer to who it is God wants me to be.

I love that I’m firmly planted in my 38th year of life and I look good. I ache a little from some medical issues, but I still feel like I’ve got wings. I know who I am, what I want (most of the time), what I need and what I’m not willing to compromise on nor tolerate.

I feel some good things on the horizon and am enjoying what’s to come.

I’m BLESSED! I smile more than I cry, dance more than I complain, laugh WAY more than usual, sing more than I wallow and believe in love more than what’s given to me. 

There are SO many things that are the BEST going for me right now, because every moment presents itself as an opportunity of thanks for what is…my life.

😀 <–big grin!