13~ Agape Love

Kween of Love ūüôā

Do you believe in unconditional love?

Yes…

Agape love…*notice how it’s the same word that means “open”*

a·ga·pe

2¬†‚Äā[ah-gah-pey,¬†ah-guh-pey,¬†aguh]

‚Äďnoun,¬†plural¬†-pae[-pahy,¬†-pahy,¬†-pee]¬†,¬†-pai¬†[-pahy,¬†-pahy]for¬†3.

1.

the love of god or Christ for humankind.
2.

the love of Christians for other persons, corresponding to the love of God for humankind.
3.

unselfish love of one person for another without sexual implications; brotherly love.

so yea, I do.

Conditions are limitations. Once you start saying, “I love you, but…” or “I love them because…” you’re set up for failure. Folks used to ask me why I loved my ex. “What IS it about him, Kali?” I was asked on more than one occasion…and though I COULD have (and have) chosen a few reasons…the truth was, “I just do…”

No reason. No motive. No excuses. Sometimes you love someone just because. I love my friends and family. I love strangers in the street. I met an old lady in Dunkin Donuts today…and out of nowhere she and I began clicking. This little old, short white lady with tight gray curls…was so adorable to me. Perhaps the spirit of my grandma. Either way…I claimed her. She said she had grandkids my age (because I said I was OLD, LOL). I said as I patted her on the back, “I could use another grandma!” Well, she reached up and kissed my cheek and hugged me (which I believe I sorely needed). I was too giddy. Did it matter that she was a stranger? WHITE? …nope. I hearted her for that moment and I will have impressions of unconditional love on my heart from that moment in time…clearly, a sign of care from my angel…my grandma.

It’s hard to love at times when you yourself are in need of some loving care. You want people to reach out to you and behold you with all of the strength and fervor…all of the boundless intent…that you attempt to love others…but, then…that would be conditional. Loving in the HOPES that someone might love you back. I’d say it was a thankless job…but, then I’d be forgetting that God is VERY grateful that His Kali (child closest to God in Egyptian)…is reppin’ him like a G!

At times…I have to put down my armor and shield. My sword and fight. I am SO fiercely protective of people I love that I often forget that they have been given the same thing that I was given…volition. They will tumble and fall as I have…and with the help of people who love them such as myself, will get back up again. Sometimes, you have to put worldly limits on a universal¬†indefinableness…just to survive. Not that you’d be placing condition on YOUR love…just a limit to how far you’re willing to go to prove you love someone.

I’ve loved and still love every person who meant a thing to me…

“In distance, love exists…arms stretched past lines of unseen defense. In distance, love exists…powers engaged past forces of human frailty. In distance, love exists…in my prayers for you, even when I have nothing to gain but the feeling that I love you…in distance…with no condition”

~Thee Kween

12~ It’s In The Stars

Do you believe in zodiac compatibility? Who is your best match from experience? You worst?

I am a Capricorn. I have Aquarius Rising. I have a Pisces Moon. I have Sagittarius in both my Love (Venus) and Sex/Aggression (Mars) planets. I believe that having my major influences in ALL elements (Earth, Air, Water and Fire, respectively) that it makes me a very even-keeled person. I can lose it when I’m pushed to my limits. That fire will burn your ass. I can get kinda cold too, Capricorns can be some icy mofos…but, I’m sure my Pisces Moon influences my artistry, my psychic connection and ability to see the rosy side of things. That Aquarius, with it’s genius flashes and “weirdo” outlook is me all day…so I’m accounted for in each position. Having said that…

Yes, I do believe in Zodiac compatibility, lol…
From experience…none of them mofos I’ve been with…lol
Every one I’ve had has been the worst match…lmao

Okay seriously. I will say that I had the most passion/chemistry with an Aries and a Gemini. Up close and personal? I’ve had an Aries man snatch my clothes off with one hand. *woooo* I’ve also had a Gemini (that 1st damn love) make it HOT. ::fanning:: The only thing about BOTH of them is that they’re¬†HUMONGOUS¬†flirts…and that potentially makes their attention spans short. In other words…cheaters. Not ALL, but MINE.

I lived with a Virgo and sexed one. If I can help it…no to both again. Virgo men are too passive for me or too aggressive. It’s like either they have NO backbone…or are crazy as fuck. MY experience. Sex with either was¬†mediocre¬†at best. *yawns*

I sexed a Pisces…and other than his ability to, as I like to say fondly…”lick my rice bowl clean”…his stroke left a little to be desired. I felt like he got too overzealous and missed the mark on how to let it do what it do. This is MY Pisces experience, not everyone’s. He also wanted to cling and claim in a casual situation. Often trying to force us into a love thing, when he couldn’t even quit cussing long enough to say anything nice. Perhaps I liked that…I didn’t want anything else and we all know that most highly passionate¬†situations¬†can lead to equally passionate sex. The latter…not so much.

I’ve dabbled in the dynamic of a Libra (attracted yes, a match…no. Too self-involved)
Also, I had an Aquarius boyfriend in HS…he was cool, but a playa.
Taurus are not my cup of tea. I’ve had a little chemistry with one…but we’re better as friends.

I actually believe that I’ll be most compatible with an Air or Fire sign. I love the aggression…but in it’s PLACE! I don’t like being told what to do unless I’m for damn sure that he’s got my best interest at heart and I require that correction. I don’t mind taking a lil direction…but, I won’t be dominated completely. There’s a dominatrix deep in me that rebels…call it my Capricorn nature ūüėČ

*singing* “Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer…ooooh

11~ Silly Of Me

I’m sorry, this shit was hilarious!!

Whom (no names, if you prefer) did you love, who didn’t love you back?

~sigh~

I could kick myself in the ass for asking some of these questions…really.

Now that I’m reading the question, it’s so different. I understand that because someone doesn’t love you back the way YOU want them too, doesn’t mean that they didn’t love you to their own capacity. People do better when they know better and if someone has always had dysfunctional love with no core sense of true love (whether it be family or friends) they might not ever really get it. Perhaps they walk away with the lesson and do better with the next. Who knows?

My first love didn’t love me the way I hoped. He was ashamed, it seemed to be seen with the chubby girl from across the hall. I didn’t have a Coke bottle shape, the longest hair (back then my hair wasn’t as long as it is now), the designer clothing, etc. I was a simple girl, living across the hall in the PJ’s with my grandmother…and though I had things, I didn’t have the things that kids prized above everything else. I was a “nerd” (they use geek now…back then, I was a goody-two shoe NERD). I was smarter than your average bear and often had a perspective of an adult. Not someone you wanna take to a teen/adolescent party. I’m going to church every Sunday, singing in the choir and have a mom who will kick a door in to find me…so yea. I wasn’t the one you wanted to tiddlywink with if you weren’t serious. I get that now, back then…it stung like a hornet’s kiss.

Recently, he put me in my place. He told me that we had one of the best relationships he’s been in because we had the friend AND lover aspect and still had a great deal of love for one another. It shocked me, but gave me a closure I didn’t even think I still needed.

The other person…well, fuck him. His loss.

10~ 10 And WINNING!

List 10 people you love and explain what they mean to you
This is hard…REALLY hard. I preface this list with apologies to any who may think that their name NOT appearing on this list is a reflection of my love for you. It isn’t…these are my daily and constant soldiers. The ones that never leave…even if life is tugging them in other directions. I love MANY…but, these people are there every day in some capacity or another. *thinking…can I do an honorable mention’s list?* LOL
This isn’t meant to dumb down your meaningful relationships…it’s meant to show you who you treasure. It’s an¬†exercise¬†in realizing your treasures in life. With this particular challenge, I pray that you not only see who is in your corner, but whose lives you may be impacting as well.¬†
1~Mom: She and I have come a LONG way from the hurt feelings and misunderstandings of the past. I can tell her just about anything and I can assure you that most of what bothers me crosses her eardrums at one point or another. I’m proud of her life as a minister. She dedicates the majority of her time, not just to going to church…but seeing about the sick and shut-in, praying over troubled souls, teaching bible study and singing in (and directing) her choir. She’s truly married to the Lord and again…I’m proud!
2~Sis: My twin by 6 years…Younger chronologically…older in so many other ways. The little girl that used to tell on me and follow me around is ¬†now a woman I respect and love dearly. I’d kill and die for this woman and that’s no lie. We’re connected. ¬†We do the “twin thing” without being DNA twins. I call many sistas, sistars and yes…sisters…but she is the ONLY STISTER (because she couldn’t pronounce it as a kid) …that I have.
3~Dad: We struggle from time to time, but I’ve got sweet memories of us doing the most basic stuff. I love him dearly. He’s toughed out the trials of addiction and has been a trooper since my grandmother (his mom) passed last year. In spite of our personal ups and downs…I am proud of him.
4~Joy: My “BFF”, “bestie”, “sister”, all that shit. I actually want to veer away from the whole “claiming” of my closest peeps because it makes their position in my life seem small. This woman has been there for me when shit got real. We’ve “argued” all of a booming two times…with little to no raised voices and ending convos with nothing short of giggles and “I love you”. Nothing beats her coming out of her own comfort zone (extreme dislike for funerals) to support me when my grandmother died in 2010. That’s the shit friendship is made of…
5~Grandma C: My maternal grandmother…the last one standing. My grandma can be evil as a snake. LMAO I ain’t lying…I swear, ask any one of the OLDER grands (them young ones escaped her wrath somehow). She’s quick with her sword…tongue, I mean…and she can hurt the feelings of the strongest soldier. Hell, I’m STILL waiting for her to induct me BACK in the family. (She disowned me in anger like 15 years ago) LMAO! Through it all…I love my grandma. I accept her for who she is…and I don’t let her get away with her maniacal ways. I, the consummate Capricorn am the perfect “devil’s advocate” to patronizingly, condescendingly, but¬†subtly¬†scold the Taurean bull. *insert a pic of a seagoat popping out of the water and saying, “Hey…Bully…ya kinda loud. I can hear ya’z aaaawl de way down to de bottom o’ de sea AND at de top o’ de bluff. Sheesh Louise…lay off de caffeine will ya?” The bull says with a smile of embarrassment, “Oh…hush, chile. Lemme gruff.”* By the time the seagoat consents to let the bull do what she do…she forgot why she do what she do. That’s me and Grandma in a nutshell. My lady. ūüôā¬†
S/N: I’m completing this blog after just waking up at 6:51am…so, I hope that explains the colorful description up there. LOL
6~Deanna aka DeeBo: I ¬†met this chick through her ex. I knew him first on another social site called Multiply a few years back and when he began dating her…she became a part of the circle of friends I had there. Eventually, she and I hit it off past his inclusion and became pretty damn close without him. (I’m always stealing male friends female friends and/or lovers) LMAO. She’s indeed one of my SiStars along with her BFF Harmony. Dee is one of those folks on this planet who I have that psychic connection with. We almost ALWAYS feel the other and pick up the phone at the exact moment we’re thinking of the other. I ain’t gonna even say it’s weird…it is what it is.
7~Maria aka Sangria Soose: *she gone cuss me good for that one* :::snickering like Mutley::: ENTY WHO…THIS chick right here? Is one of those friendships that folks are STILL looking at me like, “You good…you real good…” They can’t understand how I got SO close to someone who was involved with my ex right after the last time he and I broke up. Yep. She be his next after me. She came out of nowhere (well not really…I remembered her vaguely from the old Yahoo 360 site). She needed to get some answers after they broke up and BANG! BOOM! The inbox convo became a phone convo became a friendship that I cherish dearly. I can’t say anything more about my KinTwin…except, she’s “thwee” and likes Pooh. LMAO *running*
8~Chuck aka Cee aka Puff: The watch dude. That’s what I remembered about him from Yahoo 360 (running theme of my friendships, huh?) His profile pic was always either a watch or a teddy bear…a naked teddy (smh). He and I didn’t get close though until the summer of 2010. I’d lost my grandma and broken ties with a few important people and out of concern…he reached out. We’ve been blowing up each other’s cells ever since. He makes sure I’m okay and I make sure he’s okay. We’re a support system and a source of silly shenanigans. He’s also the damned reason I am a newborn watch lover and back on that shit (aka shop TV). That’s my figga if he don’t get no bigga.
9~Caprice aka Preecey: I met this star through Joy. Caprice, Chante, N’Tirzah and Rachael are another group of “SiStars” that I love. We connect over artful events and food. LOL We are part of a sister circle whose purpose is to be a source of support. Though our time together is often sporadic, Preecey and I still check in on each other. When we DO talk, ¬†we tend to go hours, not because we’re catching up…but, because we’re always spanning the spectrum of convo. If I didn’t see her on FB at least, I’d be sad…:(¬†
10~Tei: I’ll call her the “surprise”. She and I also met on 360. We ALSO met similarly to Maria and I. Her ex became my next and then when he was my ex, we became each other’s bane of existence. ¬†We could’ve NEVER known how close we’d be…but, I can say that this woman and I have a TRULY deep connection that touches spirit and mind in a way I don’t often experience with others. I’ve always been the go-to friend-erapist…the one that people seek to speak to, in order to make sense out of things. Basically, she’s for me what I am to others. She doesn’t lie to me, she doesn’t coddle me, she’s not afraid for me to be mad at her truth (but then neither are them chicks and dude up there ^^^) LOL…but, she’s more straight to the core of me. She almost NEVER misses the mark on where I’m coming from…and she always turns my words in on me in a way that makes me wanna jump through the phone and wrestle her. LOL …she also has the best Jamaican accent I know and that usually makes it all better. hehe
You know what? This is MY damn challenge and I’m bending rules. Shit, I think I saw someone list several folks (which WONT the point, but hell…these answers are OUR interpretations. THAT is the point) I love my ENTIRE family on BOTH sides (that list would be hella long) LOL
I LOVE: Aly and Syre and Michael and Mahogany and Quinny and Scarlett and Budda and Renee and Renee (lol) and Dani and Val and Al and Kena and Tish and Insane and Erika and Chi and Yesha and Gina and hold up…this is getting too long. LMAO
I gotta go. I’m tide. I love you ALL!!

9~ Different Than Before

Tell us about the first time you ever made love (not had sex)

The 1st love and I had become estranged. I won’t go into details…but, I’ll say it was my very first experience of a friend’s betrayal with my love. For the longest time afterward I spoke to neither of them…and to be fair, when I decided to forgive one…I forgave BOTH. (Although, the friendship between chick and I was never quite restored. Hey, neither was mine and his!)

I was home. Sitting my little sister and a young lady from the church family we were a part of at the time. My sister had been told numerous times to NOT let dude in, but she had a soft spot for him just like I did. The doorbell rang and even though I KNOW my sister told the young lady (her name was Mo) that I didn’t wanna talk to this cat…they both still let him up the stairs.

There I was in the kitchen and when I peeked past the door (thinking I heard his voice in the house) there he was…

~sigh~

Fine as ever…

::FUCK::

I threw on my straightest face possible and asked what he was doing there. That I still didn’t want to discuss anything with him. He practically begged me to take a walk with him back home. He wanted to talk to me and apologize…he just didn’t want to do it with the youngins around. I caved. I didn’t want them hearing either…besides…my mother didn’t like people in her house when she wasn’t around. I was 18, so I had to do what she asked.

I told the girls I’d be back…and off he and I went. We walked the short block to his apt. Turned out, his mom and sis had moved and all but a few things the place was empty. He was about to move into a room, but had a key still.

As I sat on the old freezer he stood between my legs as they dangled and begged me to forgive him. He said sorry a lot…and honestly he rarely ever apologized. This was new. ::pause::

For the record…he and I had a sexual relationship that didn’t span the intense emotions of passion and lovemaking. We had sex…up to this point. I knew the difference the moment he kissed me in a way he never had… >>play>>

He kissed me and held my face. I felt like crying and I’m sure he could tell. He took my hand and led me to the back room. There…he kissed me. He gently unbuttoned my shirt as he kissed my neck. (another tidbit of info…as youngins…we rarely were ever full-on buck-it naked. There was always SOME article of clothing remaining) He fully unclothed me and laid me down. He undressed and laid with me…touching, kissing, holding me…sweetly.

(another tidbit [I hope he doesn’t read this and kill me, lol] …we used the rhythm method. He always pulled out)

…not this time. THIS time…he and I stroked back and forth into and onto each other with a passion I hadn’t quite felt from him. Him deeeeeep in me as I straddled and let him apologize. When it was time to pull out…he didn’t. He held me tightly and that shocked the hell outta me. We laid there…naked…until we fell asleep. I actually awoke to him watching TV and it being dark outside. He apologized some more and wanted me to stay…but, I couldn’t. I had to go check on the two chicks I left home.

From that point on, our time together had more meaning than it had before…until it was no more.

Not As Far As I Can Throw You

Trust…it’s big…yet it’s small. Trust is being a baby and knowing mommy will hold you when you’re tired. Trust is in the child’s eyes that expects their parent to walk them across the street safely. It’s in their expectation that the teacher will have the right answer in class. It is NOT simply about romantic relationships. It’s about relationships, period. Trust is knowing that someone will be what they say…at all times. Holding someone to their displayed character and being at peace with who they are.

A mom says, “Baby…I’ll pick you up at 3pm.” The child waits for mom to return…to no avail. Mom got sidetracked…not meaning to be late. Once, maybe…the child may forget. But, repeated offenses will send the child into anxiety. From that point forward, being dropped off will become traumatic. Trust lost…issues found.

When a person has given their trust over to someone, who ultimately proves to be untrustworthy…it brings about trauma. The idea of being “left out front” waiting for someone to pick you up…to keep their word…is enough to induce fits of fear. Those broken promises become the trigger. Hearing someone say, “I won’t hurt you” or “I’ll never leave you” or anything remotely close to that can and will bring about sensations of worry that can make someone want to escape. To shut down and become unreachable. The idea of the broken trust being founded in lapse of judgment or an err in decision is lost on the victim of the betrayal. All the victim can do is think of the feelings…abandonment, loneliness, betrayal, fear…and become hardened to words.

How can trust be restored? Is it something like when a mom plays peekaboo with her baby? Making it safe for the child to close his or hers eyes, knowing that when they reopen them…mom will be there. That first lesson in trust…telling the baby from the next room, “Mommy’s right here”…so they’ll know that mom’s love is never too far. Does a person who has royally screwed up have to shout from where they are…”I’m here!”? Soothing and relaxing their loved one into a trustful game of peekaboo. Helping them become reacquainted with knowing that the person they love is who they say. Where they’re supposed to be. What they claim to be.

Makes it all the more important to for a person to be WORTHY of the trust before the trust is given.


**found this in the drafts and decided to publish**

8~ Ownlee Eue

Do you think you can be in love with two people at the same time?

Nope.

Yep, it’s my opinion…but, nope.

Yes, I’ve been in love with one and loving the other…but, the in love part is reserved for the person who I believe invades my thoughts when the other person is in my space.

When I was “in love” with my ex of 8 1/2yrs…I realized part-way that I was still in love with my first. I didn’t get over the 1st until I’d shaken the feelings of the dude I was with for most of my 20’s. What I’ve learned is that in retrospect is when things become clearest. If I had to undoubtedly state whom I was in love with between the two…it would be the 1st love. Dude of 8 1/2yrs, was my first “real” relationship (where the conditions of our union were conducive to a standard relationship…ie. no hiding). He was the one who showed me responsibility, and not just love. He was in love with me…but, I was still holding onto the 1st.

This question connects to the previous question about having been deeply in love. I honestly feel that I loved Mr. 8.5 deeply…because that is how I love…deeply. I deeply love my friends and family. I said that to say…that when I love, it’s ALL in with me. I can’t half-ass love. One foot in this direction…the other in that one. Even when I realized WITHIN my relationships with Mr. 8.5 that I wasn’t in love with him (just his love for me) I still understood that I’d made a commitment and was there until I couldn’t be anymore.

Here’s an extra scenario. This is more honest than I’m even sure I SHOULD be…but here it goes. When I was with my ex, after I began realizing that he wasn’t faithful…I allowed myself to be emotionally drawn into an affair with someone married. He told me that he felt he was in love with his wife and me. I told him that I believed he was in love with the PARTS of me that his wife had either lost along the way…or never possessed. To that end…I think we’re in love with the tidbits of different lovers. I’m not quite sure that once we put them all together that there’s as much as a struggle as we think. I think we often get scared of the potential hurts and when given two people we care so much about, we hold onto those two people for emotional security. That married dude couldn’t have been in love with me AND his wife…no more than I was in love with him AND the man I was loving at the time. We were each other’s comfort when we were dissatisfied and found in one another the romanticized version of love.

Take my favorite Romantic movie…The Notebook. When Allie was reunited with her “true love”…she had already committed to marrying someone else. In the wake of believing that she and her true love had no chance…she opened herself up to someone new…and fell for him. When she saw her true boo again, all those feelings came flooding back, mixed with the anger of what she THOUGHT was abandonment and the reality that she’s still in love with him. Even when she broke off with her fiance…she said, “I already know I should be with you”. Not because he was “the one”, but because the relationship made the most sense on paper. It was the one her parents approved of and the one that helped her move past some of the hurt and disappointment of the first.

If we learned to let go of the past…we might find that some of these things would become more clear in the moment instead of needing hindsight to see where we were at one point in our lives. I wanna fine tune the NOW!

Okay…that was a lengthy explanation. I guess this one really strikes a chord. I’m done…whatever. Let’s Jam!!

#300

This post is NOT my 300th post. LOL The one before it is, but I couldn’t let it go by without commemorating it through blog. So, lemme see…what can I share with you? OH! Thank you for every “scoper”! All 99 of you! For the faithful readers who pop up the moment my newest blog hits the dashboard…to the ones who I haven’t see in a while, but started out with the zeal of new love! For my muse, who often disappears and then kisses me dead on the lips at the damnedest times. Here are some facts about this blog:

*I started this blog back in 2008 as sort of a “secret” blog because the now defunct social site Yahoo 360 had too much drama!
*I (the ‘human dictionary’ as my family calls me)…misspelled the word kaleidoscope in the URL. By the time I caught on, people were already used to it the wrong way. (I still spelled the blog’s name right in spite of)
*It is because of my girl Yesha aka flyblackchick, that I even blog in THIS fashion. I was used to a whole other way of blogging until I came to Blogger.com where the freedom to write is totally different than places like say Facebook or MySpace.
*I have FIVE blogs all together:
¬† ¬† ¬†~Passion’s Fruit (erotica)
     ~Kween Can Burn (cooking)
     ~Words on Wings (poetry)
     ~Fancy Face Kreations (my page for graphic enhancement)
*The most used tag on my blog is “Kween Kiwi” ūüėÄ
*I have layout/design ADD and change often (it’s time again) I simply CANNOT go an entire year with one layout. One year I changed it almost every other month. I long for the perfect design that begs to remain. (any offers for design rights? ūüėČ
*I found out one day while researching butterflies (my signature) that another name for a swarm of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope! How apropos!! Right up my alley! ūüėÄ

All in all…I love my little blog. It’s where I pontificate upon love, life, relationships, news, funnies…and most recently, the home of the Love & Truth Challenge. I pray that those who read any of my offerings…learn, grow, get inspired and understand me a little better. THANK you for being here through 300 (well, 301) posts. Here’s to 300…well, 301 more! ūüėÄ

Congratulations to my Kaleidoscope!!

7~ Deep As A Puddle

Have you ever been deeply in love? Explain

Yes…and no.

I was deeply in love with my first. The kind of love that could close out the other people in a crowded room. Often, people would disperse slowly to our oblivion and we’d find ourselves alone in a room loud with our stares and smiles. (I wonder if he remembers that the way I do) Either way, we were a synchronized rhythm of learning, giggles and touch…and I felt like I’d always be in love with him…

I was deeply in love with my ex of 8 1/2 yrs. The one with whom I had an abusive relationship. In the beginning and at the end…things were the most tender. The way he wouldn’t let go at night while we slept and how I awoke often to him staring at me (not as creepy as it sounds). How he’d kiss me awake…and take care of me when I was sick. We laughed at almost¬†everything¬†and honestly, we had a very psychic relationship. I have stories of him hearing my thoughts and him SWEARING I was talking when I knew I hadn’t opened my mouth. I was in love, until I realized that love doesn’t hurt…

I was deeply in love with the radio dude. His voice was medicine for whatever ailed me and I just knew that his love would always be there. Silly as hell…we laughed many a night away when our asses should’ve been asleep. He challenged me to grow past my self-induced lines and fears. Mainly due to him, I became less shy and eventually had my own short-lived show online. Our decidedly different views on life, love, family and friendship…always seemed to come together. He the wings, me the anchor…and often switching roles when necessary. Younger than me chronologically…I often felt like he was older, hence my name for him “Papa Pea”(see, two peas in a ¬†pod). I was in love…until I realized that love don’t lie.

As far as I’m concerned, I’ve been deepest in love with them all for different reasons. They all represented different phases of my spiritual understanding. I was in love for the first time, the worst time and the most recent time…with all I had. I’ve never given less. ¬†Some might say that I couldn’t have been deeply in love so many times…but, I believe that my blessing to love others is the most beautiful and deepest thing about me…

6~ I Love Thee…Truly

What is your idea of true love?

Well…how in the hell do I ask a question that I’m stumped on my damn self? *quizzical face*

Okay, let me just start typing what I’m thinking…

I’ll start with my favorite passage known as the “Love Passage”.

1¬†If I speak in the tongues<sup class="footnote" style="line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="[a]”>[a]¬†of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.¬†2¬†If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.¬†3¬†If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,<sup class="footnote" style="line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="[b]”>[b]¬†but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.


1 Corinthians 13 ~ NIV (BibleGateway.com)


The thing about love for me is that I’m convinced that most people who speak of it have a very¬†minuscule¬†version of what love is in their mind. It’s mostly conceptions given to them through example of their most intimate environment, society and/or Hollywood, or a disillusioned vision of it based on what they’ve never experienced.

Some people’s love is rooted in lust, desperation, loneliness, appearances, fears, etc. I tend to lean toward the kind of love expressed in this passage. If you asked me what it is I want in a true love relationship, I’ll say again…refer to this passage. There’s another little quote that speaks to me by Dinah Craik…

“Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

That is all.