My Last Blog

Circa 2009

Come tomorrow…the Kaleidoscope will close.

I remember how I got here. Blogging was new to me. I’d REALLY just become accustomed to the Internet. I had a MySpace account…and as my first taste of social media, it was cool. I met a few people over there that I still hold dearly inside my spirit. One of which, is my sister friend, Laticia…”Tish” to loved ones. She told me about the site Yahoo 360 and begged me to sign up. Reluctantly, I did and fell in love quickly.

Yahoo 360 was the kind of site where you could customize your background, the privacy settings and make it home. The “circle” you created wasn’t the only circle. Your friend’s list literally could go on and on and back to you. A friend on your list would lead to seeing someone on theirs who you didn’t know…but, if you clicked enough…you’d wind up right back to someone who did indeed have you as a friend.

I didn’t know how to truly “blog”. I just wrote poetry and short stories and posted them. I didn’t know there was a name for it. It’s actually one of the FIRST places I ever felt comfortable placing my poetry. Other poets and writers would read and draw me to their pages and eventually, I found myself hooked up with a small conglomerate of writers/poets/artists/musicians/craftsmen.

I met so many cool people, but with that came the drama-filled people as well. It got to the point where I didn’t feel I could blog freely without people assuming that my feelings were about THEM. That’s where my friend Yesha (owner of Fly Chick Media, Sherlock Homegirl and Fly Black Chick Blog) came into play. I’d met her on Yahoo 360…and for a long time she was my partner in crime. She introduced me to TRUE blogging and from there I ended here. Blogger.

For a long time, no one knew of my site EXCEPT Yesha…

I blogged and spoke my feelings…freely. Eventually, somehow…(quite possibly through my ex) I began to show more people this site…and The Kaleidoscope was born. I remember the day I made this page and was typing so fast and obliviously that I misspelled “kaleidoscope” in my URL. (The first “o” ended up an “e”) Once I realized it, I had already connected this URL to every other forum I was on…so, I left it.

I’ve met people through THIS forum. Lala (my Kissy Face). Alovelydai. Katlynne LaSalle…and a SLEW of other bloggers. Celebrity blogs, make up blogs, relationship blogs, life blogs, secret blogs, erotic blogs, poetry blogs, picture blogs…every kind of blog you can imagine, I’ve seen it. I’ve introduced OTHERS to this forum as well…kinda paying it forward to those in need of an outlet. Blogger begets blogger begets blogger…lol

Once here…I branched out and created blogs for my online talk show called “The Kween’s Kouch”. That ended and I changed the URL and made it my poetry blog, “Words On Wings”. I also have an erotica blog (Passion’s Fruit) AND a cooking blog (Kween Can Burn). I suppose I may have a touch of ADD or something, because I can’t focus long…or perhaps it’s the reality of my disorder, Narcolepsy (c) my blog “Sleeping Butterfly” on that disorder.

I’ve particpated in blog challenges. 30 days of just writing. 30 days of truth. 30 days of love…and 30 days of erotica. Over and over…I’ve lost and found my writing mojo here, but this time…it’s just best to end it. At least for now. Maybe in a year or more, I’ll feel like it…but the pressure of KNOWING it’s here and nothing is being done, no progress is being captured in blog form…just feels disappointing.

ONE more time…I wanted to thank you ALL for showing support. For loving me and connecting with me, passing my blog’s link along, commenting, respecting my craft through encouragement and praise. I thank you. I love you. I pray you all continue forward in your own endeavors with passion, urgency and follow through.


Love always,


Thank You…Goodnight!

I do believe the era of the Kaleidoscope has come to an end. I’ve been blogging since 2006, when I signed up for a now defunct site called Y360 or Yahoo 360. I’ve met a LOT of my current circle from that site and have grown from all of the experiences that I’ve been blessed to see and survive. I just am not as into blogging as I once was. I feel at times repetitious and unoriginal and that’s never been me. I’d prefer to leave it as it is and take my last kween’s nod.

I will keep the poetry blog open. Though I haven’t written a poem in ages…poetry for me, simply can not be “done”. It’s an art and that sometimes means that it comes when it wants. Passion’s Fruit (the erotica site) may not be long behind the Kaleidoscope. We’ll see. I want to get onto the business of finishing projects and blogging or the responsibility of feeling like I should blog…isn’t helping. We all know that things get shut down/deactivated and are reactivated at a later date. Maybe that’s in this blog’s future…maybe not.

For now, I’d like to thank ALL of my readers and followers for all of your support and encouragement.

As of August 1st, 2012…I will close the Kaleidoscope to the public. The Kaleidoscope’s Facebook page however…will remain open as it is a forum for public thought and opinion as well as a vehicle for promotion. I do like to share OTHER people’s endeavors…so it will remain active for that purpose.

Again…Thank you. I love you…Good night.


This post is NOT my 300th post. LOL The one before it is, but I couldn’t let it go by without commemorating it through blog. So, lemme see…what can I share with you? OH! Thank you for every “scoper”! All 99 of you! For the faithful readers who pop up the moment my newest blog hits the dashboard…to the ones who I haven’t see in a while, but started out with the zeal of new love! For my muse, who often disappears and then kisses me dead on the lips at the damnedest times. Here are some facts about this blog:

*I started this blog back in 2008 as sort of a “secret” blog because the now defunct social site Yahoo 360 had too much drama!
*I (the ‘human dictionary’ as my family calls me)…misspelled the word kaleidoscope in the URL. By the time I caught on, people were already used to it the wrong way. (I still spelled the blog’s name right in spite of)
*It is because of my girl Yesha aka flyblackchick, that I even blog in THIS fashion. I was used to a whole other way of blogging until I came to where the freedom to write is totally different than places like say Facebook or MySpace.
*I have FIVE blogs all together:
     ~Passion’s Fruit (erotica)
     ~Kween Can Burn (cooking)
     ~Words on Wings (poetry)
     ~Fancy Face Kreations (my page for graphic enhancement)
*The most used tag on my blog is “Kween Kiwi” 😀
*I have layout/design ADD and change often (it’s time again) I simply CANNOT go an entire year with one layout. One year I changed it almost every other month. I long for the perfect design that begs to remain. (any offers for design rights? 😉
*I found out one day while researching butterflies (my signature) that another name for a swarm of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope! How apropos!! Right up my alley! 😀

All in all…I love my little blog. It’s where I pontificate upon love, life, relationships, news, funnies…and most recently, the home of the Love & Truth Challenge. I pray that those who read any of my offerings…learn, grow, get inspired and understand me a little better. THANK you for being here through 300 (well, 301) posts. Here’s to 300…well, 301 more! 😀

Congratulations to my Kaleidoscope!!

200~ A Kaleidoscope Special

Well, this is my 200th post…so I thought I’d make it special. I went to sleep with this little “story” in my head. Enjoy 🙂

“In the Veil of Night”

I sit curled upon my sofa…in my sweetly homey place. It is late. Too late to be up. The midnight moon kisses my chin and shoulders through the window. The  silhouette of my curves look like waves of rippled heat on asphalt. The light catches the glimmer of a tear streaming toward the slight dimple near my mouth…and I exhale. In one sleight of my hand, I remove the tear’s trace and lightly station my hair off of my face and shoulder. I sigh…audibly. I heave barely…another tear is set free. Eyes glassy with emotion…I see a form nearing in the mirror of the window. I turn to see him making his way to me. He perches beside me…my love…us a set of matched hearts. He places his warm hand on the back of my neck and caresses softly.

“What is wrong, baby? I thought you’d gone to the bathroom and you’re down here…crying.”
I look at him and smile…the darkness steals his vision and behind my hair and this veil of night…he cannot see my happiness.
“Nothing is wrong, honey…everything is right.”
I lay on his chest and allow myself to fall back into him. In my head it feels like splashing backwards into a pool of cool water…except it’s a mass of warm man. He pulls me closer…kisses the top of my head and asks, “Then why are you crying?”
“I’m thinking of all the times as a little girl where I dreamed of love. When I played house and was the mommy or a wife…with no one to play husband. I remember pretending to hop onto the back of a stallion with a knight holding golden reigns and my hair…my towel hair…flowing in the winds.”
He laughed a little and we both vibrated from his chuckle. “…okay, then?”

“I thought of the many cakes I made in my play oven and stacked to be a wedding cake…only for my little brother to knock them down and eat everything including the crumbs. I remember saving for a Ken doll to be my Barbie’s husband. Baby, I remember all of the romantic shit I dreamed of and made up and I started crying…”

He sighed a little. I could feel him tailoring his words to fit my fragility. “So, baby…tell me what’s wrong. Tell me…are you hurt because those things never came true?”

Again…my smile got swallowed by the darkness..,

“Nope. I sat here and cried thinking…wow…you could’ve NEVER dreamed THIS up. All my dreams of love never had you in it. They were silly and small. They didn’t even BEGIN to show me what my heart would grow to be. I cried thinking…thank GOD that God’s plan for us was bigger than my dreams of love.”

He held me tighter and said, “Wow. That blows my mind.”

I heard him sniffle…

I reached up and grazed his face softly with the back of my hand. His tears glistened on my hand in the dark light. I turned and hugged him and we kissed a love bird’s kiss. With that…the veil of night was lifted and love filled the space between us. That early morning talk showed me what happens when a little girl grows up and becomes a woman in love…especially, with a man who is more than the dream and better than the fairy tales.

::the enchanted end::

~I love you…to the one that will be when the time is right~

~To my muses: Joy & Dai. My two Cancer sisters. One in the new dew of love…the other a merrily married lady I adore, who knows what it’s like to cry tears of epiphany. You both inspired this along with my own hope for new love 🙂 Love you both.

~Thanks to all the “scopers” on the Kaleidoscope for being a loyal audience 200 in. Let’s see how long it takes me to reach the 300 mark 🙂