Tits and Clamps

Yea, today was my annual appointment with my new primary care provider. Dr. Cruz-Soto was cool. She had to be what us “shawties” refer to as an Amazon (pronounced A-mazin in my family, lol) She had to be at least 5’9 or 5’10.

Before seeing her, I had my blood pressure checked, I was weighed, given an eye exam and blood was drawn 😦

I noticed that I’ve lost about 15lbs since the winter…that’s all the info you’ll get out of me on THAT. LOL  My BP was 100/70 which could be low under different circumstances…but is GREAT for me. I always maintained a BP of about 110/70 as a teen/young woman. Then it seemed my pressure began elevating in the past few years…my LAST BP (taken sometime earlier this  year) was 190+ over 80+. NO bueno! I took a TB test, let her rassle my chesticles aka meat puppets…and she answered my concerns. The fatty tissue I’d been feeling may be nothing more than the natural shape…but, to be safe I’ll be getting a mammogram and an ultrasound soon. There was also something in my armpit that alarmed me. All will be checked soon. 

I made sure to be aggressive…ladies and gentleman…whenever you have concerns about your health PLEASE do not let the doctors talk you out of it. If something is recurring or is severely bothering you, stay vigilant about it. It’s safer to take unnecessary tests than to not take a very necessary one.

In closing, I like my new doctor. She’s attentive and thorough…making sure to explain the procedures as she goes. She’s open to questions, so I feel good about my choice. The wait was a little longer than expected…BUT, to ME that is indicative of demand. She was very busy which mean, people like her and return. At least that’s how I see it 🙂

What I did notice was that she began prescribing a lot of things. I suppose the older you get, the more things need to be checked out.  Either way, I’m half-way there to being in the know about my breast care.

I know ONE thing…three years of abstinence + a cold ass clamp + a pap smear swab = OW, DAMN IT! “Uncomfortable” was the word she used…hurts like fuck is the phrase I’d use. I know, it was a little TMI…but the title says TITS and CLAMPS. lmaoooo

Until tomorrow’s blog…see ya! *captain’s salute*

Cash, Credit or Boobs!

**watch the boobs…enjoy the boobs** **jacking your pockets** LOL

I took a trip to the grocery store today. No biggie. I do it all the time. Before I left the house, I picked out a shirt…ironed it…and put it on. I knew when I was ironing it, that it might give me trouble. LOL You ladies know what I mean, when the button is hanging on by a mere thread and can bust someone in the eye if you exhale to hard. So, I was reluctant to put it on…yet, I wanted to get on the road to do what I wanted. Ok, so the shirt is staying on *tug* because I’m only going food shopping *adjust*…there’s probably nothing but old men and women out at 1pm on a Monday afternoon *button pops open* *closing button*.

So, yea…it was a repeat of THAT all day. I got highly irritated at one point when I realize that my shirt had all but opened by ONE button. *QQn around for lookey lous*. Mind you this shirt once hung off of me perfectly. (Guess I need to get back on my dance routine)

So, anyway…I traipse down the frozen foods aisle. Time for some veggies. The guy is loading up the freezer and as I grab up my corn and green beans, I ask for the broccoli florets. He offers to go to the back for some. He comes back with NOT the store brand I usually buy, but the Green Giant brand. So, I say, “Nah…those are too much. Thank you anyway…” Dude says, “No, these are the same price…the SAME price..” as he picks up 2 packs and hands them to me like I have no choice. I was confused because I KNOW Green Giant is more. He says, “When you get up front, tell them Jeff from Frozen said these are 2 for 3. Shhh, don’t tell anyone else.” as he said, smiling. I said, “Cool! Thanks, Jeff!” and sashayed away (hehehe)

I got about 2 aisles over and as I *adjusted* and *tugged* and *rebuttoned*…I realized…I bought broccoli at a discount price with BOOBS! LMAOOO