Word 18: Huge


size is proportional…relative to big and small. a small dog is small to a big dog, but a big dog is small to something bigger.

“It’s a HUGE deal”
…then you find it’s petty.

“I’ve got a HUGE surprise!!”
…and it fits inside of a ring box…

“I’ve got a HUGE pimple!”
…but, it’s only noticeable to you.

“I’m a HUGE fan”
…okay, perhaps you’re a BIG fan. lol

I often find that so much of what we deem HUGE is often insignificant with proper perspective. Size is  relative to knowledge of smaller/bigger things.

The Eighteenth Day…

…the last day of your first adult job

Hmmm…Would I have been an adult at 18? lol okay okay…I’m stalling.

I was 18 and I worked at the United States Postal Service. My mom got me the job (she’d worked there since the day I was born) so this meant I had to be on my best model daughter behavior. I could do no wrong…or at least not get CAUGHT doing no wrong.

Well, that is HARD when you’re a Narcoleptic, but don’t KNOW you’re a Narcoleptic so you just look…*wait for it*…LAZY! So…that meant I was walking on eggshells trying not to go to sleep. Trying not to fall asleep while running the OCR machine, or while sorting mail, or while pushing the “post cons” (which look like rolling jails for mail) LOL

I had fun sometimes…I knew a few of the workers around my age. My friend Catina (who shares a birthday with me), my friend Shaunta, Mia and a frenemy, Debbie. I had a crush on the older brother of someone I went to school with but that died shortly thereafter because he was an asshole who thought he could tell me how if I “sculpted my body a little more I could have a BAD ASS shape”. Man fuck you and the thoughts you’re thinking…


The last day of this job was following a fight I almost had a week before with an OLD ASS WOMAN!! This woman used to bother me all of the time. I have NO clue why. I always respected my elders and often deferred to them with a passive, “Yes ma’am” or “Excuse me, Ma’am”. WHY this crazy ass old hen felt the need to bother me was beyond me. She actually confronted me in the bathroom because she’d heard me say under my breath something about how she needed to back up off me. (I had only the intentions of going home and speaking to my mother about it and having her handle it for me, since this was a TEMP job and she’d been there for 18yrs) I’d had E-FUCKING-NOUGH of Rogue Gangster Granny acting like I stole her Ben-Gay. So, she followed me and said, “What you say, bitch?” I was like O_O …the fuck? is WRONG? with THIS OLD BISH???

Well, this chick was COCK-A-DOODLE DOO crazy. She pulled out a KNIFE on me. My friend Catina was like, “OMG…she’s gonna KILL YOU!” LOL I told her not to worry about it. She tried to jab at me and I dodged her. (I was pretty fast since childhood) She tried to jab me again and I caught her hand and pushed her with my weight. I ran the HEYELL up outta that bathroom and to the supervisor’s office. I reported her and within the week…I had been terminated.

Nope…it wasn’t because of the old lady debacle. It ended up being about the fact that I was late more than a few times (I worked from 11pm to 7am and it was hard to get up and out of the house) AND I’d been caught napping more than few times around the P.O. (damn looking ass negroes) LOL

I lost that job in Early November of 1991 and by 1992 I would begin work at NYNEX (now Verizon) for almost two years. I’d get terminated from that job for the same reasons…

I got diagnosed a month after leaving that job in 1994 and found myself being able to FINALLY put a name to what was “wrong” with me. Severe Narcolepsy.

18~ Monkey In The Middle

Have you ever been in a love triangle…with you as the object of desire?

Not to my knowledge…

To me…a love triangle so to speak, is one where not only are there three players…they know of their competition. If not “knowing” them…knowing that someone else is getting the love and attention of the admired.

I’ve been in one where someone ELSE was the object of desire…but, that’s it mi amigo/as.

Can’t elaborate on anything I haven’t experienced.


Dia Dieziocho~ My Views On Gay Marriage

I’m not big on having these discussions. Religion and Sexuality are sensitive issues. You say the wrong thing and someone’s panties/boxers are in a bunch and I for one have no time for apologies. The truth is…we all have our own ideas and convictions. I can call someone small-minded or intolerant, but the truth is…people’s beliefs are their own. What right does one, or do I have to pigeon-hole someone as being small-minded just because they don’t agree? It is the VERY reason why these discussions are met with fervent passions and emotional responses.

SO…what are MY views?

I’m no staunch Christian. I don’t go to church every Sunday. I don’t lead in a choir (I USED to when I was younger). I don’t know the bible back and forth…having the ability to pull the perfect scripture out of the ether to dispute or prove arguments. I just believe what I believe.

I believe in the sanctity of marriage. In MY belief…that begins with a man and a woman for the purpose of procreation. Now, if you don’t agree…so be it. This blog question is being asked of me and answered by me…on MY blog. I believe in the male/female dynamic. Even Scientifically speaking…men and women are made for each other. His chest accommodate my breasts. The space between my thighs, meant for love-making and baby-birthing…was meant for him. We fit. My compassionate mothering nature…met with his protective, fathering spirit. 

NOW…as far as my “tolerance” for the gay/lesbian community? I love PEOPLE. I don’t care what you do…WHO you do. You respect me…I respect you. Happiness is what you make of it. If my girl finds love in a woman…I’ll be ecstatic for her…I’ll make the wedding cake! If a male friend said he was in love with another man…I would zip his bridal gown (I mean, if he did drag) and attend his nuptials in my Sunday’s best. My own views are mine and no more than I would want someone imposing their shit onto me…would I impose mine onto someone else. I’d rather EMBRACE someone…than to push them away and hypocritically call myself a Christian.

MY personal views on GAY marriage…is the same for abortions, career choice, political party, and any other life choice people make. However you choose to live. Whatever you believe in…Whatever makes you feel whole…purposed…is on you. My walk with God isn’t anyone else’s. We answer for our decisions as individuals. If you can sleep at night and can walk proudly in your choices…who am “I” to ostracize you or project self-righteousness onto you? Who am I to say what you don’t deserve and shouldn’t do? I’m too busy trying to be the best me I can be.

If you “do”…than, do it. No business of mine…