Randomosity: Midnight Meanderings

So, I’m up…in the middle of the night…per usual.

I slept a little from 10 til 12ish and now I’ll be up until around 4 or so. THAT means, I’m flipping back and forth between TV and Internet…more TV than Internet. I’m burning the midnight oil on tumblr and Pinterest with a little dip back and forth on Facebook, which means I’m shaking my head at the confuckery (confused fuckery) that seems to incessantly infect my feeds and dashboards. Goodness…

So, here it goes…my rare randoms:

1~ There’s a LOT of angry little Black children on the net. I remember in my 20’s when I was a political and informational zealot. Learn new things? Rage against the machine!!!! This shit is sickening though. They can’t tell what they’re maddest at…slut-shaming, Beyonce’s light skin or gay marriage. Don’t get me started with the arguments on natural hair. *hiss*boo*hush*

2~ Folks brag on the WRONG shit. UGH. I’ll let you fill in the blanks…because I’d be here all morning…

3~ Muhfuggas forget REAL fast when their asses are happy, just how much of an annoying, sad, bitter and complaint-ho they were. I bet you dollars to donuts (whatever THAT means) …that the moment they’re boo-less, every social media outlet they’re signed into will get the news that they’re single and oh…fuck love! ~____~

4~ I can’t believe how cliquish people still are…so closed off to new friends.

5~ Food Porn 101: Don’t take pics of food that aren’t discernible. If your stew looks like shit and your potato salad looks like pig slop…save us the trouble of losing OUR last meal. #everyonesaphotographer

Why does this tickle me so?

6~ If I were Chris Bosh, I’d go to Disneyland…in Tokyo…dressed in a Goofy costume…just to avoid the public. #lookslikebukkake #eww #hismoufwasopen

7~ Kind of connected to #3…um, I wish people would quit getting new on FB…especially if your ass has the timeline. There’s scrolling PROOF that you’re an UNSTABLE CREATURE! Quit acting like you fly above when you been slinging pigeon shit for the longest…

8~ It’s a damn shame that people…men and women alike, still play mental games. SO glad my ass is single.

9~ I want some folks to boycott Mob Wives. Since Basketball Wives is SO damn violent…go on and boycott them other chicks. The fighting on there is a LOT worse than the bickering and ATTEMPTS to fight on BW. Have y’all seen Drita connect with a chick’s jaw? Hell, even them chicks on Jersey Shore have had it out…don’t just single out the coloreds.

10~ I’m a rebel. I wore panties on No Panties Day and now…I’m drawlz-less. In yo FACE!

11~ There are kamikaze spiders in my room…

12~ I officially can’t stand tumblr, Twitter & Facebook famous folks. You too good to respond to folks’ comments? O__O

13~ I’m officially feenin’ for an Avengers and Thor 2.

14~ While I’m on movies…I STILL love the end of First Wives Club! *it just went off*

15~ I’ll leave you with this last one…why is it so easy for women to turn on each other?

So there you have it. A midnight random rant…courtesy of me, Kween. lol

Good night/morning!

Looking Asses

I am taken aback…

That folks in their 30’s and 40’s are still playing mind games. That women who are grown and have children or just are GROWN…still pursue men on and offline like a cat in heat. That men who define themselves by the length of their dick, still act like children with no aim. I on the other hand…just wanna be at peace, live, laugh, love and learn. That’s it. Keep the rest.

Let me tell you…2011 is NOT the year to fuck with me. I’m not lying down for ANY bullshit. I WILL step and I WILL blast you! So many times before, I let etiquette and decorum dictate my steps. I’m over it. I’m STILL a lady…STILL a kween, but even a kween has to exact some action when fools start trying to infiltrate her peace of mind.

I had a convo with a dear sister friend and I was once again reminded how the lies of a MAN had tainted my online reputation. A site we used to be on had me looking like some desperate bitch who needed to be loved and wanted to be just like some other woman! WOW. I’m glad that I know who I am and I’m BLESSED that I have real friends who know better. I don’t sweat the small stuff usually, but this bit me on the ass in a hard way. I don’t feel that, believing in someone is desperate…it’s called LOVE you assholes!! Trusting your friends to keep your confidence isn’t VIOLATING or BETRAYING someone else…or being catty or being a bitch. If I’m talking to someone I call a FRIEND and they runteldat…that’s not MY fault…it’s Mouth Almighty’s fault. Contrary to the rumors and lies of little people with little else to do than discuss me…I don’t thrive off drama. Drama makes the underside of my breasts itch…keep that shit. One thing is for sure…if you wanna know if I said some shit…ASK…I PROMISE I’ll tell you if I did or didn’t, but if you’ve made up your mind already that I’m some petty bitch…then stay over ——>THERE!!

Anyway, I find that some of the same people who were in my circle then made it over to Facebook with me and honestly…I know there is this dark cloud that follows me. The only way for the myth to be dispelled is for folks to be enough of an independent thinker to say, “Hmm, I wanna get to KNOW her…”. Otherwise, it’s like a red letter sloppily stitched onto my chest. Truth is, EVERY guy online who I’ve ever been “involved” with…pursued me. They had to CONVINCE me that they really were interested and wore me down after months of convo. I’ve never…EVER seen one dude and been like, “Let me roll up on that.” Nope. I mind my business…and then because these men on the Internet have a gang of stans…I end up the bane of some bitch’s existence because she thinks I’m a threat. One thing I’ve NEVER done is befriend someone so I can see how close they are to my love interest. If you’re still doing that in 2011…

GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!

I ain’t ask dude to holla…
I ain’t ask dude to rope YOU in…
I ain’t ask dude to lie to you…
I ain’t ask for none of it!

Take your LOOKING ASS…and SAT down! Leave me alone. You REALLY won’t like me if I gotta tell your ass that shit again!

Bigger Person (Blah Blah Blah)





Sometimes…I just DON’T want to be the bigger person. If I gave you percentages for how much I DO take the high road…it would be somewhere around the 98th percentile. I apologize, I check for, I shrug off PLENTY…but, sometimes…I deserve for folks to do that for ME. When the hell is someone gonna apologize to ME for once? ::hmph::


I have seen folks hold me to SUCH a high ass standard and then let fly-by-night folks get away with MURDER! WHAT is THAT about? I’m a little pissed right now and maybe if I just rant a little, it’ll go away. (I hope)


~sighing audibly~


By NATURE I care. I love. I love folks so much that it could almost seem disingenuous to someone who isn’t used to love. Everyday of my life I’m asking God for temperance…forgiveness and understanding and I try to give that to my fellow man…but some days, I feel like saying “whatever”. Why should “I” be the one to be the “bigger person”. Aren’t I already physically weighty? LOL Why I gotta keep digging down into MY spiritual pocket for change of heart? Some of the folks that I’ve loved have done me DIRTY! I have let some go and some others…we’ve moved on past the hurts. What I’ve found is a recurring theme…is that those same folks who get mad at ME for being hurt by THEM…allow OTHERS to hurt them worse than anything I would ever do. Yet…they forgive THEM. 


Look. Before I go any further…I love y’all. I know that this is a public forum and I’m opening up my situation for dissection. What I don’t want to hear right now is the whole “Season, Reason, Lifetime” shit. Save that for a day when Kween is more receptive to her OWN normal dogma. Today…I’m a woman with hurt feelings and a need to vent…


All, I’m saying…is I am always made to feel like I’m the WORSE person and it’s annoying as hell when MY record says I’ve done all I could, been supportive, been (at times) the SOLE cheerleader on a team of one and the moment a misunderstanding goes down, or time passes and I leave them to the choices they’ve made…I look up to see folks with AT-TEE-TOOD. Especially, when I’m thinking shit is okay.


I’ve gotta learn to let shit go. I soak up all kinds emotions from so many people and places [empath energy] so sometimes it’s a little hard to pack it up and drop it off. I’m getting better at it…but, I’m human. My chest doesn’t encase a titanium heart…I AM affected by the things people say and do to me.


I suppose, I need to be grateful for those who DO show me the kind of love I give…and not worry on the foolishness of other people’s pride and inability to see me for who I am. Forgiveness is always for you. That’s what I tell my friends. I guess I must tell myself the same thing. I am learning that forgiveness doesn’t have to be spoken for it to take effect. Though…some apologies need to be heard…and even if no one did anything specific, there’s a point where you concede and either move on or rebuild. I’m seeing that folks are doing a pretty damn good job of moving on, so that’s what I have to do, too.

Thanks for reading…or not.

My Cup is 1/2 Full…Please Don’t Knock Mine Over!





Why fo’ can’t I sit here and sip out MY damn cup…without suckas tryna knock it out my hand?


Okay, I will NOT go into the specifics (tired of talking on THAT subject)…all I’m going to say is that negativity spreads like wild fires…setting aflame everything in it’s path. Even the beautiful things that just so happen to be in it’s way. Sometimes people don’t THINK they’re being negative…but, here’s a few tips to search your soul for that answer:


~Is what I have to say helping?
~Did anyone ask my opinion? (this should be #1)
~If I don’t say anything is it going to kill me?


Every thought doesn’t have to be articulated. I say this 1,000 times a day. We all fall victim frequently to the Internet’s lure of instant gratification…think it now…say it NOW!  Yet, there is something that sits between thought and action. It’s called the BACKSPACE button. JUST when you start tip-tapping on those keys and your words spill out through your fingertips…take ONE second and ask yourself how necessary it is. If you still feel the need to press forward…so be it. (At this point, certain things said in MY opinion are now tools for attention to either get an “Amen Corna” or to stand out).  After this…whatever.


I don’t get in the way of people’s individual expression. I see shit every day that makes me want to figure out a way to petition companies to check for Chimp genes before letting folks buy a computer. Yea, I said it…I’m convinced that some of these “personalities” are REALLY named Bo-Bo, Cocoa da Chimp, Bubblez’ cousin Sudzie…and that they wear overalls and bow ties every day. *want a banana?* LOL.  Seriously, I mostly sip from this cup o’mine and savor the flavor of patience, understanding, compassion and freedom…mine and other’s. I just don’t care what you’re sipping on. If I love you…I’ll offer you some of what I’m drinking. If you say, “no thank you”…I’ll continue to sip and consider saving you some just in case you change your mind.


I also have a gripe with the snooty, haughty, snobbish folks coming in with their “I’m too good for this”. LAWD, it’s enough to make me lose my religion (wait, Iowneeben go to church) …well, make me wanna cuss. The quickest way for ME to snub YOU is for YOU to snub everything. My ex used to hate on my love of FB games. “Why do you play that stuff? Shouldn’t you be reading a paper?” MAN…if you don’t….MAN…don’t make me pop you!!! 


I’ve HAD it. I walk lightly through life mostly. Yea, I have my moments when life kicks my ass and I kick it right back. It pulls my hair…I kick it’s shins. “WHAT, Life…DO somefin, FOO!” LOL…but, for the most part…I’m chill. I’m in my own groove, kicked back, chilling off the vibes that flow from friends, fam, and mostly GOD. If I’m some place that is too this or that for me…I find another place to be.  Isn’t it just that simple? WHY must folks dampen others’ spirits for things. Why does other people’s unhappiness, insecurities, big-headed egos, etc. have to step on other people’s pinky toes? SOME times…just UNPLUG! ::GASP::  *oh, no she didn’t say dat* YES DAMN YOU…UNPLUG!! Instead of spitting on someone else’s fire with your lofty attitude and basement bullshit…log off. Take a breath. Go meditate. Read the Dictionary. Go watch a movie. Research your name. Play with your/someone’s kid. Call up an elder in your family and say hi. Draw something by hand. Go take a walk and take pics (my fave). Either way…learn to STFU. I sweeear, I still got coupons for that. Giving them out by request. Some…well, you just might win one in the Kween’s lotto. O_O


Call the ambulance, come and pick up your people / Put they body on the stretcher, carry they ass out ” ~ Busta Rhymes

Who Cares?





Who cares that I’m late…


Who cares that this blog is straight filler…no substance?


I don’t. I’ll be glad when it’s over.


I’ve talked about love, life, tits, movies, domestic violence, friends, food…etc. I’m spent. Or maybe what it is, is that what I really have on my mind I’m too concerned that viewing eyes will see it and see themselves. I never was good at that…not caring whose feelings I hurt.


Alas, I blog of nothingness when I’m irritated up my ass at folks. I guess I’m still rolling hardcore with Oscar. He likes me. He understands me right now. I want to say BLECH, to everything.


Oh, totally off topic…why in the FOREIGN FUCK, did some Latino dude get nasty with me at the job today? I’m standing there, waiting for a cab…he’s blowing leaves and actually yells at me (not just because it was loud…but because he was frustrated) and says bitch-style, “EXCUSE ME!!!!” I say “bitch-style”, because he said it like a true diva bitch would. Hand on his skinny hip and all. I said, “Where do you want me to go?”. It was a legitimate question. This fucka huffed and said, “EXCUSE ME!!!” And waved his frail arm in the opposite direction. I wanted to take his antiquated leaf blower on wheels and run his ass over and then blow him down the street. JACKASS!  He probably was mad because him widdle friend had a super lightweight backpack blower that did the job he was doing twice as fast. No wonder the other dude was nicer…his back and arms weren’t numb from pulling a 70lb blower around.


Who cares about his stupid landscaping job? I didn’t. Not today!


Anyway…I’m tired. I’m about to lie down and pray that Oscar breaks up with me really soon. His crib is beginning to smell like old onions and fish ass…


Good night.

Yea…Okay..Ah huh…SHUT UP!





FUCK if this isn’t getting harder with each passing day. We’ve got 10 more days in this challenge…and DAMNIT, I’m gonna make it interesting if it kills me….well, not really. lol


As we speak, I’m sitting here with EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) on my mane…b/c it was dry enough to spark and heat the block. I’m beautifying for tomorrow’s hang out/birthday dinner with my girl Ce…um, Curvy Queen. LOL (she hates when her real name is on the net). I was supposed to relax it, but I didn’t feel like burning tonight. I do it about every 6mos or so…and honestly, I’m getting tired of it. If I could afford it…I’d just let the Dominican chica up the block wash and set me for $20 every two weeks.


While trying to think of a blog topic…I came up with several things that I’ve heard pass my ears in the past few days. Couldn’t settle on one so I’mma hit you with a summarized paragraph of each topic:


Cheating:


As I was standing in line at the Stop-N-Shop today, I saw at least 3 Rag Mags that had celebrities caught out there. Cheating discriminates against no one. Rich and poor, people lie and cheat on their mates. Folks divorcing and separating over extraneous affairs. I remember once on Myspace…a question was asked in a forum about why folks cheat and the answer for me comes down to 1 of 3 main factors. 1) Greed. People want to do what they want to sate their physical desires without consequence. Unfortunately, there are always consequences. 2) Fear. This can be a sub-factor in greed. You ever see a child eat a good plate of food who hasn’t been fed in days? They eat past their satisfaction…because they feel like they’ll never get any more. If a person is starved for their mates affection, acknowledgement and/or love…they will devour what’s put before them.  Fear can range from commitment phobes, to fear of failure, to fear of abandonment, etc.  3) Confidence. Some people need to know that they’re the shit. That they have what it takes to make someone submit to their whim. Notches on the belt/bed post…blah blah blah. Someone who is to cocky too even give a damn about what loyalty entails or means. Perhaps it is also an inner lack of confidence that inspires the need for outside validation by the opposite (or same) sex.


Celibacy:


A friend of mine mentioned that a woman who is celibate still gives head. For some reason this got to me. Straight up? Quit trying to separate penetration and oral sex. Sex is basically a physical act that takes place between two people, with pleasure as the result. If you received/gave pleasure…your ass had SEX! Someone’s babies got released or swallowed? SEX! What makes me wonder…is if women and men (but mostly women) who claim celibacy, but perform oral sex refrain from the penetration aspect for the purpose of control. In my opinion, the purpose of celibacy is to maintain physical chastity for spiritual purposes or to wait for their intended spouse. Along the way, ethics, morals, standards, boundaries are established to adhere to those spiritual beliefs. If you’re abstaining for the sake of respect or chastity…then why give head? If someone is going to love you for you, respect your ideals and choice to abstain…how will they do so if you use oral sex to subdue their desires for the sake of prolonging the relationship? Or even worse, for sake of good ole mind-fucking, because believe you me…if you’re participating in sex talk and then oral, but continuing to pledge celibacy while asking for respect, I tend to think you’re manipulating to get what you want, while putting up a facade. That’s just me…maybe I’m wrong and just a Ms. Know-it-All. LOL


Also…abstinence and celibacy are two different things. Abstinence is a choice to refrain. There are no hidden ethics or religious/spiritual reasons. You may just not want to screw right now. Celibacy is like I said, for a purpose. Meaning there is motivation towards a more enlightened path. If you break abstinence…you’re just getting some. If you break celibacy (for the wrong reasons) …guilt or feelings of “backsliding” may be a residual emotion after the fact. (c) Conscience or regret.


Fat Folks:


OKAY…OKAY MOTHAFUCKAS!!! WE GET IT! US FAT FOLKS NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!! NOW…STFU!!!


It’s entirely TOO much to keep hearing on a daily basis through commercials, music, movies, TV, radio…how fat seemingly equates to unattractive. FUCK YOU! I’ve got a belly, I’ve got fat arms and fat thighs and I have back fat. Do people THINK that overweight people sit around and PLAN to blow the fuck up? NO. We DON’T! I beat myself up from time to time for some random reason, but then I remember…who is perfect? Even someone with a banging body can’t possibly behold the answer to the code for the Pearly Gates. Even slim folks get moments of insecurity from time to time. We’re all flawed. Some of us have distorted frames, some distorted hearts and minds. In the fitting room earlier, I saw my stomach and got mad at myself…and then I smiled and said, “It’s mine”. It’s my life, my temple…and I’ve been doing a good job moving/exercising and losing weight slowly. I’m doing it because I want to be healthier. Screw the way the world views me or the fears that some dude is gonna bypass me because I’m heavy and not thin. MY king, will recognize me and love ALL the fluff I’ve got. Period. In the meantime…I’m loving my gut, my arms, my back and the ass that never was. Small minded folks…kiss my back!


AND…..I’m TIDE! (yea, I said it) LOL


Good night!

The Anatomy of a Petty Bitch



pet·ty

  


[pet-ee]  
–adjective, -ti·er, -ti·est.

1.

of little or no importance or consequence: petty grievances.
2.

of lesser or secondary importance, merit, etc.; minor: petty considerations.
3.

having or showing narrow ideas, interests, etc.: petty minds.
4.

mean or ungenerous in small or trifling things: a petty person.
5.

showing or caused by meanness of spirit: a petty revenge.
6.

of secondary rank, esp. in relation to others of the sameclass or kind: petty states; a petty tyrant.




Yep. Kween is on that shit today. That’s what happens when my fam gets fucked with. I go in. I normally pipe down and stay the quiet supportive sister, but I feel that maybe a PSA is in order. My sis Maria loves those things and I do, too. I need to submit this one to the Ad Council.


The Anatomy of a Petty Bitch:


Well, before I say something…know that this is entirely figurative and not literal. There is no physical look specifically that will help you point out one of these people. This can be a male or a female. It can be someone of high status or someone of meager means. Pettiness doesn’t discriminate.


The Head:


BIG…and nothing inside. Usually, this is that person you’ve heard of before and didn’t think you’d ever meet. This person’s head is big from self-pumping. They’ll come off confident, believing in themselves (which is really believing their own hype). They’ll swear they’re not insecure, jealous or malicious…but they’re the exact opposite. They have small minds…and in order to perpetuate their cocky ways, they will make up the space with lies, malice and drama. They’re everyone’s BEST friend…until you don’t do what they like. Then you have a vengeful bitch on your hands who will make your life miserable in the most petty and catty ways possible.


The Heart:


Well, I won’t say “said bitch” has no heart. I will say that they have their heart protected by all of the shit in their heads. They have been hurt, rejected, abused, used, disrespected and left to feel alone. They don’t trust their own judgment anymore…so they don’t trust anyone at all. Chances are…they love knowing EVERYTHING about everyone…promising trust and confidence unbroken…but that’s a con[fidence] game if ever. There’s a perverse pride that is relished in, from being able to suck people in and make them feel secure…knowing that they secretly despise them and are intimidated by them…even sometimes coveting their lives.


The Loins:


I won’t say they’re ALL whores…but, most people with the head and heart of the above…can be loose with the loins. People who crave outside validation and attention/affection…will fuck whomever with the hope of getting that momentary fix of “love” without the fear of rejection that could follow if they were to allow themselves attachment. It’s safe to say when you’ve got self-respect…you respect your body. If you don’t respect yourself or others…why would you value your physical temple?


The Feet:


They have NO under-standing. No true under-standing of what it takes to move on in life and live fully with peace of mind and spirit. Read The UN-blog to get what I’m talking about.


Their feet are huge. Not physically…figuratively. They’ve used their feet to plod over people’s lives and hearts. They’ve walked over people like bullies stomping through playgrounds. Demanding respect when they don’t even know what it is. Respect means essentially, “to look again”. To give someone a second look. Usually our first glance is fleeting and can sometimes be a rush to judgment. When you take the time to “look again” it means you regarded that person enough to rethink your own ideas and consider who they are past the view. Folks who don’t respect…will stomp and grind on you. No second glances…no second thoughts.

NOW What?





Now what?…


It’s the question that often follows a litany of things that need doing, saying, changing…NOW what?


ANY one can form a list of to-do’s. Anyone can learn the knowledge, break down the truths and falsehoods…expose the intentions of something. Once that is accomplished…NOW what?


I told my sis, Maria…I don’t do all of the political, scientific, religious debates with folks. Not because I don’t have the mental cup o’noodles to slosh around in an argument with my peers…but because I hate all of that back and forth only to rest on the laurels of having proved my point. Is THAT the win? The point has been proven? I’m RIGHT…I’m the champion of the ole “say-n-sway”…so, I’m the HBIC (head brain in charge)? 


~waving hand in disregard~


Whatever…


It bores me to tears to go back and forth in civil debate about something that stays the same, but just changes places and players. What they’re doing to Obama, they did to Clinton (ironically both were elected behind a Bush)…but yea. After the initial screwing up of two terms of presidency…when the man came behind and tried to make right the wrongs of the Dumbfuck Family…he was criticized non-stop for not doing so in a timely fashion. Remember…you can fuck up in 10secs and it’ll take 10hrs to clean it up. Multiply that by days and years and it could go on and on.


Anyway…I hate having the almighty discussion of what’s wrong and no one is rolling up their sleeves on a daily basis and getting into the sludge of it. If you’re just good at running your mouth and you’re not affecting change by BEING the change…kindly STFU. Really. Or else you’re just a mouth running. Someone who enjoys being lauded for their lofty ideals and nifty ability to form a sentence.


If your platform is teens…find a community center or a school to do fairs and such at.


If your platform is AIDS awareness…find you a clinic or a hospital. Do some volunteering.


If you’re a politico…well throw your ass into the lion’s pit. Run for something. Start out as an alderman and work your way up to senate. DO SOMETHING.


As for me…I’m just fine, writing my poetry and blogs. Touching folks that I meet daily…doing God’s work in small but effective blessings. I don’t want to talk about it…I want to know that my life matters. I don’t want to brag it…I want to exhale at feeling as if I’ve brought something beautiful to someone’s life.

I do indeed respect the many people who blog daily and touch on the current events of the world…making them relate-able and palatable for our community and people. I just wish that SOME of those very folks didn’t use the world’s events as a deflector away from the life they are miserable in. Or as a way to be superior intellectually and not have much else to round out their personality. Your entire essence can NOT be of an aggressive, angry, political, adversarial kind. I’d love to read or hear more of a person’s life and see that they too have vulnerabilities.



Anyway…this became a rant out of nowhere. Perhaps the sick Kween needs to go lie her ass down somewhere and come back a less cranky blogger. lmao


*post accomplished* 🙂

I wont!





I won’t


I won’t cry, I tell myself.

I won’t tally up this year’s heart breaks and curl up into tears. Feeling sorry for myself…becoming a “victim of circumstance” *fuck you*…


I won’t sit here and question my actions in a situation that ended disrespectfully and indignantly. I won’t ask myself those questions that people ask when they’re hurt…and not thinking straight. I won’t


I…am thinking of ME, now. My grandmother left this earth in March…because she cared about others SO much that she didn’t take care of herself. Sure…she was 81, but her health took a sudden downhill direction in less than 2 years due to two men. Both, unable to do for themselves…yet, still selfish. Sickness and disease doesn’t ALWAYS change people for the better. Some just get intensely worse. Between my two uncles (one a great…one my dad’s sibling)…my grandmother gave her physical, financial and emotional energies away in doubles. I won’t do this. I will always care for people…give what I can…what it is I feel they need. I WON’T give more than I can, should or want to…for fear that if they fall apart…it will be MY fault.


Grown folks do what grown folks want…if you’re not a child…kick rocks.


I WON’T except excuses for half-assed relationships, friendships and family. If you love someone…the truth is simple. The love isn’t complex…it’s SIMPLE. Love is a verb doing. If you’re family and you allow outside folks to interfere with the family fabric…you can get the full-on iceberg slim cold shoulder. No one should be able to come in and disrespect, create a chasm, be a wall between you and your clan. PERIOD! I ain’t fucking with NO more selfish people. If you’re MY friend…you don’t let SHIT get between us that we can’t discuss or deal with. NO excuses. If you’re MY man…you come get me. You show me. You make shit happen for us…b/c you better believe I’mma spoil you. I’m gonna hold you down. I’m supporting, loving, giving, sexing your mind and body, feeding your soul and belly, smiling FOR you when you’re feeling down, being a wife-kween to you and upholding all the beautiful, classy, regal qualities that go with it while being your BEST fucking friend and loving you even when your shit stinks and no one else understands. I deserve the same…again…NO excuses. If I get greasy with you…so fucking what. Tighten that shit up and get back, because if you put me in my place…I’m gonna play my position and take that shit like a woman as long as you’re not disrespecting me. Like Brandy and Ray J’s dad said the other night, “When you’re IN love…it hits you like a tidal wave”. How can you deny a wave?


I WON’T let 2010’s early bullshit run me into the ground and make me question whose I am.


Because…when I’m not someone’s daughter…
grandbaby…
niece…
cousin…
sister…
godmother…
lover…
best friend…
ride or die…
I’m STILL HIS creation. God’s anointed one. Yea, He knows me well and still loves me and I WON’T forget that!


Kali: (Egyptian) “Child closest to God…”


…Absolutely!

10 Things, 3am and OTHER random shit

For SOME God-forsaken reason…the 3-5 hours are my “insomnia” hours. I almost instinctively awake at 3am…Usually, I’d watch General Hospital’s repeat on SOAPnet, but the service is out because we’re switching to another. Instead…I sit here tip tapping away NO o’clock in the morning with a mind on a speed that would make most dizzy.

10 is my favorite number. *laughing at a private joke about the Illuminati* ~shaking that off~ SEE…you probably have NO clue where my mind is, but about one or two others will get it…that’s if they’re on nighthawk time…

ANYWHO…it’s my fave number for a few reasons. It’s an even number and the OCD in me likes even things. My birthday is on the 10th of the month. I’m a 73 baby (do the math) and I’m presently 37 (I KNOW…I look GOOD don’t I? *jealous huh?* HAHA…I kid…I kid. I have a few other reasons, but hey…you already probably think I’m a little special…so I’ll keep some fantasy in our relationship. 😉

On with the 10 things…maybe…

10 things pissing me off (yes…I’m an Angry Black Kween right now…but, I think it’s a good look for me) 

10. LIARS
9. HYPOCRITES
8. USERS
7. Folks who feel entitled to YOUR shit…wtf?
6. DUMB bishes who THINK they know you and DON’T (mental note taken, to stay to self)
5. The pure and utter bullshittity (thanks Wizzy) of a SUPERVISOR who knows less than ME! O_O
4. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR…ASK for what you want, what you want to know…or SAY the shit…I’m not giving clues
3. Don’t ask me shit and then tell me I’m wrong…WHY DID YOU ASK?
2. WEAK spirited folks…but wait, I can almost deal with a weak spirit…just not one who PRETENDS to be strong (fuckouttahereyo)
1. LIARS!!!

Now, don’t think that I’m all anger and no management. LOL I’m expressing and venting so as not to implode. This is an exercise of relaxing, relating and releasing…and then T.D. Jakes shuffling through my day! So here’s 10 more things…

10 things I feel GREAT about…

10. SHELTER in the dead of winter
9. FOOD in a hungry country (Yes, the U.S. is surprisingly STARVING at a growing rate)
8. Working limbs, mind, and senses
7. God-given gifts (i.e. singing, drawing, writing, LOVING, seeing spirit over flesh)
6. FAMILIA…yea, so WHAT they fell off an almond tree, but they’re MINE!
5. The wonder that is my godchild…Syre
4. FRIENDS…they’re the family God gave me the sense to choose.
3. The ability to know I’m blessed, pray, and praise…it’s all HIM anyway!
2. Pepsi. LOL No seriously…I’m addicted and if I don’t have it…I get the shakes.
1. LIFE…the life that is breathed into me with grace and beneficence every time I awake in this mere shell. To shake off those 10 things that piss me off and cause me to cuss and lose sight momentarily of my divine being and purpose in this life. Using my OWN life as a living testimony to give inspiration and receive it from those who impact me as well. Making a LIAR out of circumstances and saying to self…You are BLESSED. *insert T.D Jakes shuffle*

Now? I can sleep…Good morning! 😉

~I love you~