Damn, Ladies…

Women Unite!!!

…or maybe not.

Why is that though? Why is it that women PERIOD seem so easily pushed to turn on one another. It doesn’t take much at all. The moment a woman leaves the room, something negative is uttered. A woman sees a confident woman doing what makes HER happy…out comes the claws.

I’ve never seen such meanness. I see so much side-eyeing, side-swiping, side-talking on a daily basis. In my Facebook feed, my Twitter timeline, my tumblr dashboard, my office, the store, reality TV…GEEZ la-fuggin-WEEZ!

I can’t even say it’s all about men, either. I’ve seen chicks hate each other for simple looks. “She thinks she’s this…” …whether that be her thinking she’s cute, smart, sexy, whatever…I see it.

WHY can’t a woman just look at another woman who is doing her thing and quite possibly succeeding at it…and give her kudos? And MEAN it? Why is it so hard for women to be honest with each other?

Has society pitted us against each other with it’s views of beauty and worthiness? Have we been indoctrinated over the years with superficial peeves about each other? Hair, clothes, weight, skin color…MEN? Yes, SOME of the issues are about men and the attention level one may get over the other.

If I see a woman doing something productive, making her life count for something and being a positive force…I can’t hate her. I love her grind. I love her determination and if I’m not doing what I feel I should be doing, I pray that she’ll inspire me. No, everyone doesn’t have to be inspired  Hell…if you seriously have a reason to dislike or hate…then do you, but why must that be the only thing you have to offer? If I don’t like someone, I just don’t deal. I don’t care if she’s the average Jane or if she’s a celebrity. I seriously don’t like much of Nicki Minaj’s works. Rather than [at any given opportunity] go in on how good she’s NOT…I just don’t listen to her music. I don’t entertain her interviews. There’s no need for me to hold a hate campaign against her. If anything…I respect her carving out a place in the industry for herself.

I refuse to succumb to the title of a “crab in a barrel” by hissing in her direction or any OTHER female I may not care for. It’s not to say you can’t have an opinion, Ladies…but, why does it HAVE to include a hateful lambasting of “that bitch” that you PROBABLY don’t even KNOW well enough to have an opinion on? How do you arrive at a conclusion about any person you’ve never held a conversation with? That to me is a problem and it’s a seemingly BIGGER problem among my very own people. Yes, Black women…I’ve seen some HATEFUL ass comments about each other online. No sense of respect, boundary or basic loyalty to a caste of people who severely need to be unified. Nope…just crazy, insane, nonsensical hate and bitterness toward one another.

This HAS to stop!!

…but, HOW? Where does it begin? Does it begin with saying nice things in lieu of judgments? Does it come with changing the way you speak to people (changing the attitude and being less offensive/defensive)? Where do we begin? How do we pass on love, respect, peace and a sense of community love in place of hate, disdain, envy and division?

I don’t know. For ME, it’s checking mySELF. I rarely have a catty thought anymore. I used to have one from time to time, but those are far and few between. Nowadays, if I find myself rolling my eyes at you…I’ve truly come to that feeling by way of observing you or getting to know you…and even THEN, I don’t feel strongly enough to talk badly about you or wish you ill. Even when people have left my circle…I still send love their way. Why do anything else? Does it benefit ME to be a bitch and be a self-proclaimed warning signal that says, “I’M A BAD BITCH…BEWARE!”? Sure doesn’t. I refuse to sully my overall energy with that kind of negative brashness.

Please ladies…PLEASE consider how you speak. How you perceive each other. How you treat each other. Women are beautiful in so many ways and we must celebrate that in each other daily. Anything else is a crime.

Come out of the litter boxes, damnit! LOL

My Cup is 1/2 Full…Please Don’t Knock Mine Over!





Why fo’ can’t I sit here and sip out MY damn cup…without suckas tryna knock it out my hand?


Okay, I will NOT go into the specifics (tired of talking on THAT subject)…all I’m going to say is that negativity spreads like wild fires…setting aflame everything in it’s path. Even the beautiful things that just so happen to be in it’s way. Sometimes people don’t THINK they’re being negative…but, here’s a few tips to search your soul for that answer:


~Is what I have to say helping?
~Did anyone ask my opinion? (this should be #1)
~If I don’t say anything is it going to kill me?


Every thought doesn’t have to be articulated. I say this 1,000 times a day. We all fall victim frequently to the Internet’s lure of instant gratification…think it now…say it NOW!  Yet, there is something that sits between thought and action. It’s called the BACKSPACE button. JUST when you start tip-tapping on those keys and your words spill out through your fingertips…take ONE second and ask yourself how necessary it is. If you still feel the need to press forward…so be it. (At this point, certain things said in MY opinion are now tools for attention to either get an “Amen Corna” or to stand out).  After this…whatever.


I don’t get in the way of people’s individual expression. I see shit every day that makes me want to figure out a way to petition companies to check for Chimp genes before letting folks buy a computer. Yea, I said it…I’m convinced that some of these “personalities” are REALLY named Bo-Bo, Cocoa da Chimp, Bubblez’ cousin Sudzie…and that they wear overalls and bow ties every day. *want a banana?* LOL.  Seriously, I mostly sip from this cup o’mine and savor the flavor of patience, understanding, compassion and freedom…mine and other’s. I just don’t care what you’re sipping on. If I love you…I’ll offer you some of what I’m drinking. If you say, “no thank you”…I’ll continue to sip and consider saving you some just in case you change your mind.


I also have a gripe with the snooty, haughty, snobbish folks coming in with their “I’m too good for this”. LAWD, it’s enough to make me lose my religion (wait, Iowneeben go to church) …well, make me wanna cuss. The quickest way for ME to snub YOU is for YOU to snub everything. My ex used to hate on my love of FB games. “Why do you play that stuff? Shouldn’t you be reading a paper?” MAN…if you don’t….MAN…don’t make me pop you!!! 


I’ve HAD it. I walk lightly through life mostly. Yea, I have my moments when life kicks my ass and I kick it right back. It pulls my hair…I kick it’s shins. “WHAT, Life…DO somefin, FOO!” LOL…but, for the most part…I’m chill. I’m in my own groove, kicked back, chilling off the vibes that flow from friends, fam, and mostly GOD. If I’m some place that is too this or that for me…I find another place to be.  Isn’t it just that simple? WHY must folks dampen others’ spirits for things. Why does other people’s unhappiness, insecurities, big-headed egos, etc. have to step on other people’s pinky toes? SOME times…just UNPLUG! ::GASP::  *oh, no she didn’t say dat* YES DAMN YOU…UNPLUG!! Instead of spitting on someone else’s fire with your lofty attitude and basement bullshit…log off. Take a breath. Go meditate. Read the Dictionary. Go watch a movie. Research your name. Play with your/someone’s kid. Call up an elder in your family and say hi. Draw something by hand. Go take a walk and take pics (my fave). Either way…learn to STFU. I sweeear, I still got coupons for that. Giving them out by request. Some…well, you just might win one in the Kween’s lotto. O_O


Call the ambulance, come and pick up your people / Put they body on the stretcher, carry they ass out ” ~ Busta Rhymes