The Twenty First Day…

dropped the mic

…the day you met your most recent/or last love

Well, I never “met” my last love. That mofo ain’t have the nut sac to meet me. Or he just ain’t wanna…either way, I fell for someone hundreds of miles away and he was in a relationship with everything and everyone but me.
(He’d deny it like a no-good baby daddy on Maury…but I have the DNA tests. [Digitally Notated Affirmation] also known as I seent it with my own eyes, LOL)
Well, one day in early October 2007 while on Yahoo 360 (The old site I used to be on)…I get this friend request from this cat. He looked young and kinda cute, but I wasn’t checking for anyone just then. I had just gotten rid of a liar and was working him out of my system. We connected and next thing you know…he’s commenting on my poetry. Gushing about how GREAT it is. I was thankful…I’m always gracious when someone reads my work and gives me love, so there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary about that. He was like anyone else in that way.
As time passed on, dude became an “ear”…more like an eye. He and I traded IM’s as he offered his shoulder. I accepted. We talked and I remembered saying to him that he had so many women vying for his attention. We’d laugh about it. I used to use this high-pitched groupie voice and beg him to sign my left breast with his loooove signature…in jest of course. We were becoming good friends. Again, nothing was desired of him. He shared his music as I shared more poetry. He sang to everybody me and I found, yet again…someone with whom I had an artistic connection. It was cool. 
Before I could spit a poem on a mic…we were giggling and staying up all day and night on the phone. Promises were made, dates to meet were cancelled, excuses sung…blah blah blah meow meow meow…end result, I dropped the mic.
the mic was mute
the lies were moot
all i needed was time to reboot
no more to say
no song to play
nothing left to make me stay
no rhyme to the reason
no love where there’s treason
no love just grieving…
no lifetime…just a season
sound check…too much reverb
the ground shook, nobody heard
so, i dropped the mic…no more words
I could’ve hated him…but, I really don’t. I wish him well. He gave me lots of inspiration and opened me up to online talk shows, thread parties on blog posts and friends I still have in his absence. He gifted me with a lot of things,..but, in the end…I had to gift myself with reality.
Long Distance is NOT for the kid. lol

The Ninth Day…

…the day you discovered the Internet

Well, I got a computer in 1999…and was WAY too happy to be able to finally get on the net. I actually spent less time on the net and more time researching fun things. I had a love for surnames, so finding out what names meant had me geek-ed!

That computer was short-lived…some refurbished piece of shit that bit the dust. So, we got the PC of the moment…a Gateway. I got Britannica-wasted the first day. lol

I want to say that I truly got introduced to the internet in 2000. I found my sister online via AOL and she introduced me to chat rooms. LORDY BE, LORDY BE!!! That is the LAST place Kali needed to be. There I was in a chat room full of racist fools, hissing racial slurs and racial supremacy and I was NOT the one to fuck with. One dude was LIVID, I tell you…because I told him that Black people were NOT the true monkeys…White people were. I told him that take away the black hair and he’d see his grandfather. Small brains, larger cranium, white skin, big ears, thin lips, elongated torso, short pelvis and legs, extremely long digits and a barely there nasal passage…and VOILA…Grandpa Whitey! He left that chat room so quickly that I heard an e-door slam. LOL I told him that Black people had BIGGER brain mass, smaller cranium, shorter torso, longer legs and shorter arms. That we had natural melanin and less body hair, therefore…the primate known as a monkey was more HIS folks than mine!! hahaaaa

I had fun terrorizing racist and sexist assholes…it was QUITE the therapeutic outlet for a woman going through a tumultuous domestic abuse situation. I left my dripping venom on many a fool in those days. I traversed the chats and Black Voices scene, barely meeting anyone…just reading to see if I WANTED to.

Finally, my true segue into social media came via MySpace on 2006 when I got a page to my god-sister’s urging. It was also the year that I got SUPER cat-fished. The drama was STILL one, that to this day leaves me looking over my shoulder.

Later that year after the crazy person whose REAL name I do not know had left…I found [the now defunct] site of Yahoo 360. A friend I’d met on MySpace had lured me over and I was hooked. There I found friends and love and unveiled my poetry and found erotic writing tucked into my repertoire. From there we migrated to Multiply, which has now closed ITS doors.

I sometimes can’t believe how much has changed since the days of chat rooms and AOL’s “YOU’VE got MAIL”. The dude running…and running…and running…as you wait to be connected via DSL.

Dang…I feel old. lol

My Last Blog

Circa 2009
~sigh~

Come tomorrow…the Kaleidoscope will close.

I remember how I got here. Blogging was new to me. I’d REALLY just become accustomed to the Internet. I had a MySpace account…and as my first taste of social media, it was cool. I met a few people over there that I still hold dearly inside my spirit. One of which, is my sister friend, Laticia…”Tish” to loved ones. She told me about the site Yahoo 360 and begged me to sign up. Reluctantly, I did and fell in love quickly.

Yahoo 360 was the kind of site where you could customize your background, the privacy settings and make it home. The “circle” you created wasn’t the only circle. Your friend’s list literally could go on and on and back to you. A friend on your list would lead to seeing someone on theirs who you didn’t know…but, if you clicked enough…you’d wind up right back to someone who did indeed have you as a friend.

I didn’t know how to truly “blog”. I just wrote poetry and short stories and posted them. I didn’t know there was a name for it. It’s actually one of the FIRST places I ever felt comfortable placing my poetry. Other poets and writers would read and draw me to their pages and eventually, I found myself hooked up with a small conglomerate of writers/poets/artists/musicians/craftsmen.

I met so many cool people, but with that came the drama-filled people as well. It got to the point where I didn’t feel I could blog freely without people assuming that my feelings were about THEM. That’s where my friend Yesha (owner of Fly Chick Media, Sherlock Homegirl and Fly Black Chick Blog) came into play. I’d met her on Yahoo 360…and for a long time she was my partner in crime. She introduced me to TRUE blogging and from there I ended here. Blogger.

For a long time, no one knew of my site EXCEPT Yesha…

I blogged and spoke my feelings…freely. Eventually, somehow…(quite possibly through my ex) I began to show more people this site…and The Kaleidoscope was born. I remember the day I made this page and was typing so fast and obliviously that I misspelled “kaleidoscope” in my URL. (The first “o” ended up an “e”) Once I realized it, I had already connected this URL to every other forum I was on…so, I left it.

I’ve met people through THIS forum. Lala (my Kissy Face). Alovelydai. Katlynne LaSalle…and a SLEW of other bloggers. Celebrity blogs, make up blogs, relationship blogs, life blogs, secret blogs, erotic blogs, poetry blogs, picture blogs…every kind of blog you can imagine, I’ve seen it. I’ve introduced OTHERS to this forum as well…kinda paying it forward to those in need of an outlet. Blogger begets blogger begets blogger…lol

Once here…I branched out and created blogs for my online talk show called “The Kween’s Kouch”. That ended and I changed the URL and made it my poetry blog, “Words On Wings”. I also have an erotica blog (Passion’s Fruit) AND a cooking blog (Kween Can Burn). I suppose I may have a touch of ADD or something, because I can’t focus long…or perhaps it’s the reality of my disorder, Narcolepsy (c) my blog “Sleeping Butterfly” on that disorder.

I’ve particpated in blog challenges. 30 days of just writing. 30 days of truth. 30 days of love…and 30 days of erotica. Over and over…I’ve lost and found my writing mojo here, but this time…it’s just best to end it. At least for now. Maybe in a year or more, I’ll feel like it…but the pressure of KNOWING it’s here and nothing is being done, no progress is being captured in blog form…just feels disappointing.

ONE more time…I wanted to thank you ALL for showing support. For loving me and connecting with me, passing my blog’s link along, commenting, respecting my craft through encouragement and praise. I thank you. I love you. I pray you all continue forward in your own endeavors with passion, urgency and follow through.

Peace…

Love always,

Kween