Relationships…*sigh*…it’s the bane of SOME of our existences. Others have been fortunate enough to be parts of love couplings that work and last. A lot of people struggle day to day IN them or to get out of them. For me, lately everyday has been a struggle to get my mind right. To wrap my mind around the fact that once again, love has eluded me. I’m sure one day soon I will have fabulous testimonies of how I made it through, but as for now…I am still analyzing and breaking down past moments to get an understanding of things.
In conversation with a friend (who is in a relationship) she spoke of feeling stupid for loving someone who doesn’t show the love he speaks of. (I don’t like to say that we’re stupid…it isn’t stupid to love someone). She questioned how she got where she is. She started out as a person strong in her convictions of what it is she would and would not do…would and would not tolerate. Most of those convictions shattered with the dislodging of her spine. When I said that to her she laughed, but she nodded in agreement. She said that she had NO spine when it came to this man she loves.
Being the nut/smarty pants that I am…I had a theory. I told her that yes…he took her spine. I told her how he was now rocking her spine AND his, which is why he was so strong and she so weak. I told her that, technically…he is SUPPOSED to own her spine. It makes her weak for him in a way only a lover/partner can be…BUT, she is supposed to own his too. In other words, their supposed to have each OTHER’S backs. Here she is all jelly-backed and he’s got 2 spines AND his own ego. Here is yet ANOTHER strong, smart woman…victim to unfair spinal removal. *lmao* Fair exchange is no robbery…but, there was no exchange. He got her and she got…GOT!
When talking to this friend, advising her, counseling her, loving her with the truth…I began to realize that in my sisterly words…I was talking to myself as well. Telling her and me, that the love for US is made of two people exchanging, reciprocating, and validating one another’s love. Fulfilling one another’s needs and CARING for each other. Not just loving…because you can love someone and not take care of them. A man who loves us ladies…isn’t going to sit idly by and watch us struggle. He isn’t going to TAKE more than he gives without blinking or thinking twice. The same way a good woman looks at her man and can see his needs and swoops in to compensate…there are men who can do that as well. If a man’s CONSTANT is HIS needs and your sacrifice…something is wrong.
When in love…I have my man’s back. I only ask that he has mine too.
GIRL…you better go GET yo spine. That niggum has TWO!!
AND I’M TIDE!!!