love’s sea

love said to me…
“follow me…
into the abyss,
plunge willingly into me…
trust me…” love said
love lured me
with a crooked finger
and a knowing wink
then love said…
“i know you cannot swim…
but place your lips upon mine…
and i shall breathe for you”
love lifted me by my pits
in the liquid swish
and carried me
with it
love said,
“i love you…
so come be free,
stay and be
a wave in my sea”
i looked upon love
with eyes wet…
but perhaps
in the abyssal mess
love could not tell
why my eyes did swell
…and perhaps
with my eyes
seeing nothing
but love
i spoke not
but embraced love
with a hug
and love could not see
that i was struggling to breathe
…that the water in my eyes
was not from love’s sea
but the asphyxiation
from love’s clench
which caused my heart to wrench
i wiggled free
asking love,
“please release me…
let me float
alongside thee…
not encumbered
by the pressure of
relying on you solely…
so deep, i cant see”
love assented,
relenting it’s hold on me
love said,
“be WITH me…
along side me”
and together
we paddled
above the abyss
and below the surface’s kiss
where light lives
giving way to a tandem wade
in love’s sparkling sea…

Is This 2009 or WHAT?

I received this email from my friend, Angela after viewing the above picture on her wall on Facebook. I laughed at first, because besides it’s obvious buffoonery (a monkey with a bottle) I laughed a little out of disgust. I’m sure some may have seen this picture and heard this story but for those who haven’t, here’s the email:

In this day and age, racism and ugly stereotypes continue to rear its ugly head. The recent Gates case, the Boston police officer calling Gates a “banana eating jungle monkey”, and others are strong examples.

Racism and negative stereotypical portrayals of African Americans comes in many forms.

John Taylor and his wife, Donna who live in North Carolina , recently went to COSTCO in Greensboro and could not believe what they saw perched on the shelf for sale. As the photos show, the

baby doll is being hugged by a monkey and the doll has a cap on its head that says ” lil’monkey” !They have lodged complaints with the COSTCO Corporate HQS and while their efforts succeeded in getting the doll

pulled from the Greensboro store, the doll is still on sale in Winston Salem and likely in other locations.

These dolls are in insult to us all and need to be pulled from all COSTCO stores or wherever they are being sold. COSTCO also owes their customers an apology. I hope you are as outraged as I am and if so,

call COSTCO HQs and demand that this product be removed from their shelves without delay. It is the “Cuddle Baby” product #404860 and the corporate headquarters number is 800-7742678.

Please feel free to spread the word to your networks to contact COSTCO and demand they stop selling this doll.

Most of us have already heard or seen the fiasco behind the watermelon flavored soda sold in Target with the minstrel-like logo. It’s becoming ridiculous that we’re still fighting THIS level of ignorance in 2009 when we should be evolving AWAY from the blatant hatred of people’s skin color. I sigh in exhaust off of the different things I see daily that set us back hundreds of years. I JUST wrote a blog on how people use the texture of their hair to become classicist within our own people. So, as Black people struggle to get hold of some semblance of unity in the wake of our Black president’s induction…in a country where most media marketing uses our music to touch the younger demographic…where women tan and implant to achieve a more “ethnic” or “exotic” appearance…I just can’t believe there’s a black doll packaged with a monkey. I asked my friend to let me know if there were “Caucasian counterparts” to this doll. Just so that I could relate, relax, release. Yet, when I thought of it, how different would it be? It would be just like the soda can’s other side having a little Caucasian boy on it. All to offset the impact. A few friends laughed and said, that if there ARE other dolls…they’re probably not with the same animal. There might be a puppy or kitten, etc…but no monkey. As I researched, I didn’t find much on any other versions of the doll…but, I did read that there WERE dolls of the Caucasian and Hispanic persuasion that also came with monkeys…but as I said, it doesn’t matter. The damage was done. By the time I’d read about this, the dolls had already been swiftly removed from Costco’s shelves. This one site where it was being discussed in comments had very good points. One person states:

“Mom’s across the world refer to their children as “Little Monkey”, it is a term of endearment like “Sweet Pea”. The “Little Monkey” doll set comes in all ethnic “colors” and is accompanied by an actual stuffed monkey. People look for reasons to be insulted. You would think people would tire of looking for insults around every corner, it’s energy consuming. First you have to convince yourself you look like a monkey, then you have to declare the monkey uncute or undesirable so the comparison is offensive, then you have to find someone to complain to and wait for sympathy. Geeze. Find something better to do with your time.”

She could have a point, but then I am curious to know her ethnicity…yet again, it doesn’t matter. Most BLACK people don’t need to go through a step-by-step process to comprehend the offensiveness. It’s instant. When in the history of racism, there have been certain images and stereotypes linked to our appearance, one doesn’t need to “feel” ugly to see the ugliness in something like this. Some things just need more careful consideration and research when being marketed to a country where the history of slavery and racism doesn’t always quite feel like history. From now on companies should have that ONE token Black dude or chick from the mail dept. to come up and give their opinion. If they’d asked someone from the streets…they would’ve known better.

Do you want to know what is funny ironic…not funny comedic? When I was pushing opinion on the watermelon soda and fighting against it’s imagery, not the fruit…I likened it to the concept of someone throwing a banana in a black kid’s hand and inferring that the child was a monkey. That we wouldn’t stop liking bananas…just the hate behind the concept. Right about now, the thought of a banana is making me nauseous.


As I am about to do my hair…I thought back to a few things I’ve seen posted here and there and I gotta say…

I am SO sick of hair snobs. I don’t care if you’re hair is the nappiest kink, an extreme coil, a silky wave or a naturally thin straight. I don’t care if you “found” yourself one year and decided that you were tired of wearing the white woman’s crown. I don’t care if you grew up with a hair complex and think that long straight hair is the most beautiful hair. I don’t care if you’re weave-licious but wear your hair natural underneath. Do you see where I’m going? I hope so…because AGAIN…black people have found a reason to continuously separate themselves from each other. This is NOT a Spike Lee joint. This is life…and life is about appreciating our differences and various physicality. The slave mentality is NOT the desire to look white…it’s the lack of desire to embrace each OTHER. It’s the ignorance that comes with our own inner caste system which divides us from the top of our heads to the souls of our feat. The mentality begins and ends with blurred lines of self-inflicted alienation from our brethren.

I admit…I’m lazy when it comes to my hair. I hate washing my hair. I hate DOING my hair. I WILL whip it into something nice on the way out the door…but, I’m a pony tail girl any other day of the week. I once went 7 years without a perm. My hair grew like a weed on speed. I washed it, oiled it, braided it, etc…and you know what was so funny? People STILL thought my hair was a weave. Finally after years of going natural and not REALLY knowing what to do with it…I went back to the fried, dyed and laid to the side look. One chick ran her fingers through my scalp in search of tracks. *smh* I didn’t do it because I hated my natural hair. For me it was ease. I didn’t have to do crap to it but wash it and slick it back. Does that make me less than a REAL black woman…ABSOLUTELY not. Do I have a warped sense of self? NO ma’am/sir. Do I not own my “blackness”? (whatever the hell that is). Do I not still walk with kween swagger? Bitch.Boo.Bye! Check it. My hair is beautiful…in it’s natural state AND it’s “processed” state. Why? Because it is MINE…and it is a part of ME. I am not my hair, as India.Arie said. I am not my “lighter shade of skin”…I am not my “fluffy” frame…I am not my “geek status”…I am not the cheeseburgers I love…I am not my clothes, residence, or the friends I choose. I am a stand out, unequivocally GRAND design of God’s. I won’t let someone who chooses to relish in their kink, tell me that because I DON’T…somehow I’m stuck in a white woman’s world. With all of the amalgamations of genes in this world…how is anyone to define what “black hair” should look like. I know chicks who have natural hair and STILL rock wigs and weaves. No offense NOR judgment to those sistas…but, like me…they sometimes lean towards ease and variety. Is EVERY sista who wears her hair natural, confident? NOPE…because going natural doesn’t equate to cultural pride. It doesn’t mean that every insecure thought goes away. It doesn’t mean that she stops hating what she sees in the mirror…anymore than having a perm means you’re an oreo. I have friends who are natural and love it. I have FAB girls who go from the stunning shaved Ms. Tracey…to the newly natural, Dee…to Nya Papaya’s (Melissa) natural waves…and my loc’d sista Mahogany. They are as different as their choice of hair style.

Is beauty in this country warped? HELL YEA…there are barriers of beauty that are still stigmatized and perpetuated. From body shapes, to facial feature, to hair texture, to geographical origin, to height and on and on. Do they need to be debunked and put to bed? OF COURSE!! What will it take? How about start with living your own life…being at peace with who you are first…and instead of ridiculing, dismissing and harboring snobbish judgments…accept folk for who they are. If I wanna relax my hair, eat a burger and drink a Pepsi. So BE it…because I DAMN sure wont be trying to convince you to process your fro, give up tofu and wheat shakes in order to validate my own beliefs. Hell, I AM tryna put the burger down. My ass is thicker than a Frosty…lol. Yet…Between all the differences we encompass and the attitude of self-righteousness…our people are going to remain on the slow climb to unity. All because instead of worrying about my mind state…you’re concerned with my hair. Treat the mind set first…and then work on the hair, because lack of perm just means you’re nappy…not necessarily happy.

Shit…I’m tender-headed ANY damn way. And I’m TIDE!

Shout-outs to my natural beauties…Almondie, B-Cup, Blossom, Yesha, Letrice, Sun Ree, Twin, Aly Boo, Cousins Shelley & SheRah/Megan & Kaitlyn, Starrdusstt, Sonja…and my mommy! 🙂


I promise you, I’ve been messing with this page for EVER it seems. I just gave up! LOL. I am ONLY writing this particular blog right now, as a testing launch.

See, I tried to install Disqus’ commenting system into my page…but, it wasn’t kicking in. That was LAST layout. Then I decided to change the layout (bad move) which became a 2 day process of looking, testing, looking some more and don’t forget the initial task of copying and pasting each HTML code to my widgets BEFORE hand.

I enlisted Mr. Chap to help me because he’s great with this stuff and has made it look impossibly easy…but even he couldn’t breach the “beef” that Disqus has with my Blogger page. I decided then, to just unload the Disqus and use the basic Blogger commenting system. No harm no foul, right? Yea, ok…it just got worse. I did find a layout I could finally rest with…but, it had this annoying 4 blocks of “sponsor image buttons” on the right side. Well, how about from now on blog layout makers of the world…when formatting and ingeniously coming up with such beautiful layouts…GIVE INSTRUCTIONS! Everyone isn’t a computer geek with CSS experience. Mind you, when I had a page on another site I was pretty good at making my own layouts…learned how to go in and do the damn thing from some basic ones…but this is ridiculous. Perhaps, my frustration clouded my normally brilliant capacity to learn quickly. Who knows…all, I DO know is that when trying to remove said sponsor boxes, my already oozing membrane allowed me to right-click on them and “block” the images coming in. EUREKA…NO MORE OF THOSE BOXES! Yea…no more BOXES…but the word “sponsors” is still there…and guess what else? I’ve managed to block a few pics that were already in place for a couple of blogs. NICE, Kiwi…NICE!!

Ultimately…I still have a problem with the commenting on my latest blog. That is why I decided to just go free stlye and blog this crap, so that perhaps I could remedy the issue with a new blog. Who knows…it may work or may not. Either way, I’m done for now. If someone *coughing* MR CHAP *coughing* wants to come and do it ALL for me (HTML saves and all) he’s more than welcome…but, I’m not doing THIT until I get over this mess.

I should’ve left it alone…*sigh*

Whitney…is that YOU?

Whitney is back! Or is she? I’m so scared for her. I’m in proverbial nail-biting mode over this latest release. See, if Prince and Michael were my leading musical men…Whitney and Janet were their leading lyrical ladies. I remember getting allowance and running up to the record shop on “the avenue” in Mt. Vernon, NY (known to most as Money Earnin’). I can’t even tell you how much that album cost. All I know is at 12 in 1985, I, Kali…bought my first Whitney Houston album. Yea, you know…when they were still vinyl? lol

I played the HELL out of that album. It ended up skipping to the lou until I just handed it off to my little sister. I still know the words to every song on it and at one point owned all she had to offer on CD’s. I no longer have those *grrrr* but, nonetheless…I am a FAN! One of my favorites from that album is the little heard, “Thinking About You“…an up-tempo song that is a MONSTER to find and download. Of course there was “Saving All My Love For You” the covetous ode to a married man. And who could forget “How Will I Know” with its colorful video and quintessential 80’s flavor. Yet, the song that when those first synthesized notes bang in, sets me into “me me me-mode”…is “You Give Good Love”. The first released song and video from the album. GEEZ…I listen to that now and remember that Whit was just 22. What a voice…purer and stronger than a 22 year old should behold.

Of course, when the 2nd album was released…I was ON it! My friend Leah and I used to sit there and listen to that album and cry. LOL She was 12 and I was 14…and we were some sappy girls who loved boys who didn’t love us. I even remember their names but I wont post for the sake of the innocent (meaning Leah and I) ha! It didn’t help that it was the same year Prince released, “Adore” which is my favorite of all time and we were STILL losing control over Janet’s Control album. Songs like “Just the Lonely Talking Again” a remake of the Manhattan’s song. “So Emotional” which is a song that still gets me up and dancing around with the fake mic and everything…lmao. The beautiful, “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” was a winner for me…but it was “For The Love of You” a remake of the Isley Brother’s classic, that had my heart and still does. I remember being in the car with Leah’s family on the way to the pool and her mother said, “Oh, this is the Isley Brother’s song” and know-it-all Kali says, “Nah uh…that’s Whitney Houston, Ms Judy!”. She quickly schooled me and told me that yes, Whitney was singing, but the Isley Brothers made it first. I just replied, “Well, I like Whitney’s better!”…even though I’d never heard the other version. FAN, much?

If I were to sit here and name every song she’s sung that I fell in love with, you all would be mad at me. So, I’ll just say…I’M A FAN!

I’ve seen my girl put out albums that just rocked us, and some that left the critics wondering where she was going. I saw her marry Bobby Brown from another fave group of mine, New Edition…and put more R&B into her repertoire which the critics REALLY didn’t like. There’s the tumultuous marriage of Bobby & Whitney…their monkey foolery on Bobby’s reality show, the rumors…the TRUTHS about drugs and other abuse. The infamous Wendy Williams’ interview. The Diane Sawyer interview and the birth of “CRACK IS WACK”. Hearing about her having affair with little Ray Ray…and the whispers of a resurfacing in the music industry.

I’ll be 100% with you…I heard her newest release, “I Look To You” and it was OKAY. It’s Whitney, years ago…watered down. I’m sure someone told her she needed a super ballad to bring her back in but, in my opinion…this wasn’t it. Don’t get me wrong. I like the song and was happier than a new California cow that she was back…but, there’s something missing. What makes it hit you IS understanding what she’s been through. All I know is that when things got really bad and it was APPARENT, like that HBO concert where she could barely talk let alone sing…people were SO down on her and I hated it. I just kept praying that she’d be ok. That my idol would loosen from whatever had grabbed hold of her and that she’d rise again to her former glory and reclaim her spot…but then we all know, no matter what she’s been through, no matter how hard she fell…no one will EVER be who she was in music legend. After all, she is still Just Whitney.

Some more faves: “Exhale (Shoop Shoop)“, “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay“, “Lover for Life“, “Greatest Love of All“, “Jesus Loves Me

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