Damn, Ladies…

Women Unite!!!

…or maybe not.

Why is that though? Why is it that women PERIOD seem so easily pushed to turn on one another. It doesn’t take much at all. The moment a woman leaves the room, something negative is uttered. A woman sees a confident woman doing what makes HER happy…out comes the claws.

I’ve never seen such meanness. I see so much side-eyeing, side-swiping, side-talking on a daily basis. In my Facebook feed, my Twitter timeline, my tumblr dashboard, my office, the store, reality TV…GEEZ la-fuggin-WEEZ!

I can’t even say it’s all about men, either. I’ve seen chicks hate each other for simple looks. “She thinks she’s this…” …whether that be her thinking she’s cute, smart, sexy, whatever…I see it.

WHY can’t a woman just look at another woman who is doing her thing and quite possibly succeeding at it…and give her kudos? And MEAN it? Why is it so hard for women to be honest with each other?

Has society pitted us against each other with it’s views of beauty and worthiness? Have we been indoctrinated over the years with superficial peeves about each other? Hair, clothes, weight, skin color…MEN? Yes, SOME of the issues are about men and the attention level one may get over the other.

If I see a woman doing something productive, making her life count for something and being a positive force…I can’t hate her. I love her grind. I love her determination and if I’m not doing what I feel I should be doing, I pray that she’ll inspire me. No, everyone doesn’t have to beĀ inspiredĀ  Hell…if you seriously have a reason to dislike or hate…then do you, but why must that be the only thing you have to offer? If I don’t like someone, I just don’t deal. I don’t care if she’s the average Jane or if she’s a celebrity. I seriously don’t like much of Nicki Minaj’s works. Rather than [at any given opportunity] go in on how good she’s NOT…I just don’t listen to her music. I don’t entertain her interviews. There’s no need for me to hold a hate campaign against her. If anything…I respect her carving out a place in the industry for herself.

I refuse to succumb to the title of a “crab in a barrel” by hissing in her direction or any OTHER female I may not care for. It’s not to say you can’t have an opinion, Ladies…but, why does it HAVE to include a hateful lambasting of “that bitch” that you PROBABLY don’t even KNOW well enough to have an opinion on? How do you arrive at a conclusion about any person you’ve never held a conversation with? That to me is a problem and it’s a seemingly BIGGER problem among my very own people. Yes, Black women…I’ve seen some HATEFUL ass comments about each other online. No sense of respect, boundary or basic loyalty to a caste of people who severely need to be unified. Nope…just crazy, insane, nonsensical hate and bitterness toward one another.

This HAS to stop!!

…but, HOW? Where does it begin? Does it begin with saying nice things in lieu of judgments? Does it come with changing the way you speak to people (changing the attitude and being less offensive/defensive)? Where do we begin? How do we pass on love, respect, peace and a sense of community love in place of hate, disdain, envy and division?

I don’t know. For ME, it’s checking mySELF. I rarely have a catty thought anymore. I used to have one from time to time, but those are far and few between. Nowadays, if I find myself rolling my eyes at you…I’ve truly come to that feeling by way of observing you or getting to know you…and even THEN, I don’t feel strongly enough to talk badly about you or wish you ill. Even when people have left my circle…I still send love their way. Why do anything else? Does it benefit ME to be a bitch and be a self-proclaimed warning signal that says, “I’M A BAD BITCH…BEWARE!”? Sure doesn’t. I refuse to sully my overall energy with that kind of negative brashness.

Please ladies…PLEASE consider how you speak. How you perceive each other. How you treat each other. Women are beautiful in so many ways and we must celebrate that in each other daily. Anything else is a crime.

Come out of the litter boxes, damnit! LOL

STFU!!! (a lil rant)

I’m gonna piggyback on a blog my girl [fungke] [blak] [chik] wrote, called “If You Can’t Take An Opinon, Stop Reading My Blog“. In it, she stated how often people say, “you’re hating” when it’s really an opinion. It’s ok you, know..NOT to like something or someone. We all have a right, so to speak…to our own opinions. I mean, I learned in elementary school the difference between fact and opinion. Need a recap? Fact is real, proven and indisputable. Opinion is a guess, a perceptive statement and easily refuted. I see it every day…people get riled up with opinion. It’s one of the reason why in spite of being somewhat of an “intellect” *gagging* I tend to work HARD of late…to keep my opinions to myself. I can remember when I used to debate a thing to death…but I so hate arguing nowadays. I’d be trying so hard…not to get them to agree…but to be open to why I’d think differently. You know how you say, “let’s agree to disagree”? That rarely happens. Most people walk away thinking either, “She’s a know-it-all” or “She’s an asshole”…and either way…the point you were trying to make falls away to stubborn opinion.

O-pin-ion..take the p and i out (your personal interest) and you have the word onion. LOL Yep…layers of shit that just brings tears…or just stinks. So, indeed…I know we have them and am used to people dispensing theirs like penny candy.

BUT…the hating? Well that is different. Hating to ME (my asshole) is when it’s not just an opinion…which usually stems from preference. It’s when it stems from an envy or jealousy. OR when it comes from self-hate and being unfulfilled personally. YES, people look at others who are doing them (without knowledge of their existence) and have “opinions” about everything. That person’s life, choices, achievements or lack of. I personally, don’t care what the hell someone else is doing with their lives. As long as they’re not hurting me or anyone I care about…why should I? Especially, if I don’t know them. I do look at people like politicians, religious heads and people in the position of fundamental responsibility, like teachers, doctors, etc…and care what influence THEY have on the world. They are a big part of what can go right and wrong with an average life. Yet still, I cannot judge, because in order to know you must go through it…in THEIR skin. Your shit…ain’t my shit…ain’t the next person’s shit. Two teen moms don’t necessarily share the same issues because of what THEIR own environment was like. One could’ve been supported by their family…the other not. SO…I keep my mouth shut unless it is something that is atrociously out of order for the sake of what is right.

Hating on people’s careers…choices…relationships…mistakes…etc…is a bit much to me. Everyone’s mouth is moving 24/7 about something that isn’t their shit to understand. STFU!!! Nit picking away every little thing…when your shit is CRACKED and on the ground, bitch.boo.bye! My girl Celeste said to me, “Hurt people, hurt people” and she was right. Broken, fractured, fragile people, sitting back hating…yes HATING on the success of others. If someone is out there, grinding it out…bless em. If someone is struggling against demons…bless em. If someone is trying to do something positive…bless em. Why is it so hard to just be happy for someone out there LIVING and not just BEING? Oh, and for the record…no one can remain at the top forever. We all have and will fall short. We all mess up and live to regret it…such is life…but, sitting back in judgment and disdain for others…especially folk who will never hear nor care about your little “opinion” is over the top, straight HATING!

This came from watching a SLEW of bullshit, hating-ass comments on Twitter. I’m so glad half of em were retweets…that way, I can be proud to not have been following some of these hateful individuals…PLEASE don’t make me break out that video!!! lmaoo