No, there’s nothing funny about emotional abuse…but, the verbal lines…words, tirades, lies, etc…are the punches that scar and bruise far beneath the skin.
No punch, kick or slap hurts as much as feeling like nothing you do is good enough. Feeling like everything you do is wrong. Going from accountability for self to taking the blame for your abuser’s actions. Feeling like you DESERVE this treatment. Having someone tell you repeatedly with words, actions and coldness how it is YOU that is the problem and how lucky you are that they even love you. Feeling that this is all you’re ever going to get, because for some reason, when God made you…He skipped over you while doling out blessings.
Firstly, God’s will has always and will always supersede ours. We’re going where He’s taking us whether we get there in a straight line or a bundled scribble of deterred highways. What He’s given us…is free will. So, we’re in a situation sometimes longer than we need to be out of a number of reasons that stem from the biggest demon of them all…fear.
So, we need to remember that even though at times it feels like God has forgotten us…it is WE who have forgotten ourselves. We’ve forgotten that we’re born with the power to do many things and when we allow others to render us powerless it is by all means…a choice. Yes. Sounds harsh, maybe?
There are many times a day, while in a situation that we’re given an either/or. A yes/no. A live or die. I lived in an abusive relationship for almost 9 years…and I can recall SO many times when I had an opportunity to leave him. I had moments when I can remember making the better decision to be still and pray rather than argue and “prove” that I wasn’t weak to him. We hear those voices in our heads all of the time and sometimes they’re loud and sometimes they whisper, but they very rarely cease. The best that we can hope for is to be able to discern which voices are right and which ones are wrong. Normally, the voice telling you that you aren’t good enough…is a stone cold liar. Believe that voice and you might as well curl up and die, for you are no more earthly good when you’ve allowed anyone to convince you so cleverly that you’re nothing. What’s more? To convince you to convince YOURSELF, that you’re nothing.
WHY we endure these kinds of abusive relationships…whether it be friendships, familial, spousal/love or societal…has everything to do with us as much as the abuser. How we can release ourselves has everything to do with empowering ourselves with knowledge of what abuse is and understanding our own value and self-worth.
My sister, Joy in-boxed me this link and I believe it is VERY relevant to this month’s cause: Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
You also may want to read my blog written on my own personal experiences for this cause. Click here.
Here’s the link for Emotional Abuse.
Be good to YOU. You’re the blueprint for how others treat you.
Peace and Love…