The Thirty First Day…

…Bonus Day: Pick a day you haven’t described and share

Well, first off…THANK YOU CHALLENGE TAKERS!!! I appreciate all of those who have participated (and are finishing up) for taking on this little blog exercise. Once or twice a year I try to take one of these on to bring about a myriad of goals. I strive to have consistency in writing, to blog things that mean something to each and every one of us on a personal level and for you who have a blog (or 5 like me) …it’s a way to keep your audience’s attention. I go so long between blog posts that it feels like a ghost town, but these challenges keeps the writer in me and the blogger some love…on their toes.

On to this last day’s challenge…

I had a lot of days that I didn’t get to share. In retrospect, I found a lot of days that could’ve been a part of this challenge…but, hey…hindsight is 20/20. Anyway. I’m gonna play a little bit of “The Day I met…” and factor in MANY days, Hey! It’s my DAY, I’ll dump a whole buncha days in iffin I wanna!!! O_O

I’ll do it chronologically for my mind’s sake. lol:

“THE DAY I MET MY INNANET FRIENDS”

la tres mariposas

Joy & Celeste: HA! I met Joy and Celeste on DECEMBER 6th of 2008! We’d been howdy-doodying online for a bit and decided to have a meeting of the butterflies. SO, Mama Butterfly, Butterfly Effect and the Celestial Butterfly met at Joy’s apartment in the Bronx and made a weekend of it. I ain’t gone tell y’all ALL of the debauchery and fuckshit that went down, just know…divorcing these two is NOT an option…we all know too much about each other. ctfu

OH, that sucka JOY? FIRST thing she said to me upon meeting me at the train station, “DAMN  Kiwi…you LIGHT-skinneded!!” yea…that is why I punch her every time I see her. lol

a diva and an almond

DIVA: I met Diva on an October weekend in 2009. (I think it was ’09). Anyway. Joy and I went to the airport, picked her up, hopped a taxi and headed to the SAME hotel I had my birthday weekend in 3+ years later! We had fun. We went to MAC and got make up, went out to eat, got drunk, talked shit, and had SOME one O_O send us a nassy pic to which we passed around like drunken college boys. lmaooo. GOOD times I tell ya…GOOD times.

three smexy summabiscuits

Maria: On the weekend of 911 in 2011, Joy and I met Maria in Times Square with her then-boo and we commenced to cut up. I got a little tipsy, but that’s par for the course. lol We ate, laughed, took pics around the table and had the best couple of hours we could fit in until Ria had to go. 😦 …it was on THAT weekend that I found out Maria ain’t THAT much taller than me. Yea, she thought she’d be towering over me. NOT. psssh…old delusions of grandeur type shit. lol

deebo and kali simpson lol

DeAnna: Me and Dee met in Boston, Mass on the weekend of June 29th 2012…because she was stalking Phil Perry’s schedule. lol She wanted to go somewhere she’d never been with someone she’d never met and I fit the bill. hehe. She invited me and paid for me to get to her. (Isn’t she a doll?) I got there first and waited impatiently for her. I kept looking out the door like, “Where the hell she at?”.  She’d had a delay and got there just in time to not be TOO late for Phil’s performance. We swayed and took pics of him in the dark *ctfu* and once it was over? I LOST her. She’d tracked that man down and I looked up to see that she’d snapped a pic with him. I turned my back for ONE minute…goodness. lol.

We also went on a boat ride, which was lovely…and found a reason to keep going to the concierge for the sinful chocolate chip cookies out of the magic ubbin behind the desk. Doubletree is the DEBIL for that. (I can taste ’em now…)

squeezing for a pic…wife, dat sucka and me. lol

Tina: I met my Wife [insider] on my birthday weekend this year.  The ORIGINAL plan was for Tina to come before the Christmas holiday, but we couldn’t get it together quick enough in that time frame. I suggested she come and spend my 40th with me [and Joy] instead. It was my 40th after all and I’d love for her to be one of the folks I shared it with. So the party snowballed from there. I swear, Joy, Tina and me are frickin CLOWNS. We stayed laughing the entire time. Tina got to meet some old friends of mine as well as my sis, cousin and godsis. We promised we’d have another chance SOON to do more cutting up.

I’m looking forward to not only spending more time with these ladies, but meeting MORE friends in the near future. I can’t wait to see who I meet next!! *singing* “Rolling with the homieeeees”

***did you all pick up on the running theme? once I met Joy…we rolled together meeting everyone else (except in Dee’s case). Ha! 

Steps to Social Media Cleansing: How to Delete

first they’re sour…lol

If you’ve been on the Internet long enough, you know that as quickly as we add friends…we subtract them as well. The social media networks are proverbial revolving doors. One day you’re e-besties…the next you’re blocking/blocked. Fights and misunderstandings not withstanding…there are times when “the list” must get purged free of stale connections and dead weight.

I’m a sentimental sap and at times…that’s a bad thing. I’ve often kept people on my list because ONCE we were fast friends, ONCE we spoke all of the time, or we grew up together and knew each other when. It’s not enough though. Social media SHOULD be a tool to not only get to know each other, but to grow from the experiences. Networking is a big thing on the Internet and it serves as a wonderful ladder to success…possibly.

Ultimately, it boils down to what kind of operation you’re running. Here are 5 tips to find out what you should do and why:

~ Do you know this person outside of social media?
    Yes? Would you speak to them in person?
    Yes? Keep.
    No. Delete
~ Is this person a business associate or personal?
    Business? — Keep. (unless they’re not serving a purpose)
    Personal? — See above
~ Is there an unresolved issue between you and this person?
    Yes? Do you care to resolve it?
    Yes? — Keep and Confront [in your own time]
    No? Delete.
~ If you don’t speak…is there another reason you hesitate? (ie. Games, Family, etc)
    Yes? Keep only if you play said games or they’re family.
    No? Delete.
~ Lastly, Do they add anything positive to your day/life?
    Yes? Keep.
    No? Delete

Of course, there are so many other factors. If your friend doesn’t come on often for some life reason or another, it’s best to keep them if when they DO come around they’re a pleasant addition to your feed/timeline. If they’re not…then let go. If you’ve allowed an issue to fester and don’t know how to approach it…give it time. If it fades, it wasn’t important, if it doesn’t…delete.

I for one am not impulsive. I don’t get mad and delete for no reason. You have to violate my code of friendship or association. I’m not rude. I’m not a judgmental person. I mind my own business. So if you cross lines that I can’t deal with, I’ll delete you. I’ve made the occasional rash decision and I’m not proud of that, but for the most part when I’ve cleaned my slate…I’m confident in my decision to do so.

For me, this place on the Internet is as much about evolving and learning as it is adding friendships and networking. It means nothing down the road if what’s being discussed and dealt with today is the same shit from the year before. I choose people who grow with me and who have inspiration to dispense.

I suppose, having said that…it’s time to purge again.

Leave YOUR tips to social media “pruning”. lol

Where to Next?

I’ve been on the internet for about 7yrs strong. Before that, I knew nothing about chat rooms, blogs, etc. I was on the net (via AOL) just existing in IM’s with loved ones and distant friends and the occasional game.

By 2006, I was on Myspace and then a Yahoo site called 360. Soon after, I’d get pages on Multiply, Facebook, Twitter, tumblr and a few others that are now either defunct or have been overshadowed by the internet titans. lol

Yahoo 360 brought me a LOT of cool people. From there, I learned about online talk shows, blogging, picture sharing, and learned to share my writing and poetry. Due to Yahoo 360, I’ve been a talk show co-host, a blogger with my own little following, fallen in love and tripped out of it…and found SO many beautiful women that I call sister. In 2008 I visited Alabama and Philadelphia. I didn’t have to go far to meet a few of my girls, because they’re from NY and NJ. By 2009, I’d graced DC with my presence (meeting a couple of people but not HALF of whom I wanted to), because I was helping with my godson. Just last year in 2011, I met another sistar when she came to NJ/NY from NC. How we met is nothing short of awkward (for the average), but we made the best out of a painful situation. I’ve had some really cool experiences.  A couple of those friendships are no longer. In one instance it was hard…the other not so much. Either way, I’ve had a good time meeting people who I’ve met online and spent time talking to on the phone, IM’s, statuses and blogs.

Just last week, I met my sistar Dee from Illinois. I met her on Multiply when she was dating a friend on my list. He introduced us all to her and eventually, we became sistars. We’d been talking for the longest while she dated him…but, the true closeness came about after they’d broken up. After that it was a done deal and we officially became confidantes.

The view from our room…1414

When she said she wanted to go to Boston to see Phil Perry in concert, I was like, “Okay…that sounds nice…” and then she said, “I want you to come, too!” I was stoked and said yes immediately. I had my issues with the traveling, due to the Narcolepsy…but, I knew I could do it. I have family in Boston and was pleased to see a couple of my cousins while there. They were so sweet and made sure that I got to the hotel safely. That was a blessing all in itself to know that I wasn’t “flying blind”.

We had a so much fun together. Friday night in Boston kicked off with Phil Perry’s stellar performance. After that, we retired to the room we were staying in at the Doubletree and used the rest of the evening to talk, laugh and solidify our sisterly bond. The next day, we hopped a shuttle bus and ended up on a boat ride across the river. It was such a beautiful day. The breeze was gorgeous and I conquered a fear of boats. We had to leave the next day so besides the boat ride, the picture-taking and dinner…we had to prepare.

Coming back across the river

The weekend, however short…was well worth any travel snafus either of us encountered coming and going. I had so much fun and was very happy to have been able to say I’ve met yet ANOTHER sweet and generous soul that I call friend. I pray that I get to meet all of those who have been and are a significant part of my everyday online existence. God willing, I’ll meet everyone and put to bed the assumption that you can’t find true friends or trust people over the Internet. My best friends are from this thing…and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

So, Whose got next?