Yep, I’m talking to you. You know who you are. You’re the person who is EVERYONE’S friend…but no one’s at all. You’re the person who agrees with every statement, has no opinion, but somehow knows it ALL. Yea…YOU…the beady-eyed one who refuses to look ANY one in the eye because well…the windows to your soul are dirty from plodding full-force into shit…off a fan.
I’m not ashamed to say I’m 36…because, well…God blessed me with these 36 years and I’m also gorgeous. LOL. Nonetheless, in my years I’ve learned a lot and have actually learned to APPLY lessons. Not all…but, I’m learning more as I go along that application beats knowledge…because application is the foundation of wisdom. One of those very IMPORTANT lessons…which I’ve been applying for some time now, is to be myself. Unadulterated and unabridged. Self-identity is so important to self worth. It’s one of the main components in being accepted fully for who you are based on your own ability to stand strong against external influence.
When I was younger, I was in a relationship where I allowed someone to change me. From my hair to my clothes to the thoughts in my head…and I almost died a long and slow spiritual death. One day, I woke up in the middle of it all and asked God to help me. To conserve my true self…and He did. He allowed me to go within myself for protection in order to make it out the other side as unscathed as possible. Today, I am a better woman for it. I may compromise certain things, like small habits…to accommodate friendships/relationships…but never again will I change what has made me the kween I am, for another’s pleasure. My core will only change if it is what’s best for myself…and THAT is between God and I.
I’ve seen so many people who do this, fade to fit…and I feel utterly sorry for the emptiness they must feel when there’s no one around. When faced with self…how could they possibly like themselves when they’ve become dependent on being validated by the company they keep. I call them “chameleon characters”. They’re the kind of people who blend in wherever they go. Now, in some social settings…this is a good quality. You want to be able to hang with the homies on the block when you pop up home for a visit…and you want to be able to mingle successfully in a formal setting where etiquette is held in high regard. YET, if you’re the kind of person whose ENTIRE belief system changes when you’re around other people…that is a problem. If when you get around someone, the things you love are hidden, the people you love are shed, the life you live is diminished and given lesser value, if you’re self-deprecating to maintain “face” and take focus off of your choices…then YOU are a “chameleon character”. If you hide one facet of your life from every other facet…it’s possible that you’re a different person in each. Also, you JUST might be up to something dubious…which explains the requirement for a fractured personality. I mean, we’re never one thing all the time…but, personality traits are a far cry from persona. There’s something to be said for the person who is an intellect with one person, a yes-man with the other and an asshole all around. There is not ONE person, who can make me change my FAITH, my MORAL & ETHIC code…who can make me ashamed of my upbringing, my social status, economic state, the people I love…NADA. If you can’t accept me lock, stock and barrel…taking with me all the quirks and idiosyncrasies that come with me…then you’re not worth the time it takes to create space for you. I am NOT in the business of being what everyone wants to me to be. Either love me or leave me alone.
Lately, there’s been this running joke between myself and someone special…whenever someone says something about themselves, we shout “CHARLATAN!!”. If you don’t know what that is…the definition will follow. (I realize that the smarter you are…the dryer your wit…so I’m sure there’s a few folks with the *_* face on) LOL.
Charlatan: 1 : quack 2: one making usually showy pretenses to knowledge or ability : fraud, faker
Perhaps if when we spotted these folks, we yelled out “charlatan” like in ye days of old…slap a “C” on someone’s chest to bring attention to phoniness…people would take care to be truer to self. I don’t know, but what I DO know…is that life is too short to dumb down your light’s shine to fit in with others who have no appreciation for individuality. I’m good being me. Thanks.