Life and everything that is me IN it. I love the fact that I’m happier with myself than I’ve ever been. I love me. I love that I’m blessed with family and friends. I feel like I’m doing God’s work in some small way everyday. I feel like I’m growing closer to who it is God wants me to be.
I love that I’m firmly planted in my 38th year of life and I look good. I ache a little from some medical issues, but I still feel like I’ve got wings. I know who I am, what I want (most of the time), what I need and what I’m not willing to compromise on nor tolerate.
I feel some good things on the horizon and am enjoying what’s to come.
I’m BLESSED! I smile more than I cry, dance more than I complain, laugh WAY more than usual, sing more than I wallow and believe in love more than what’s given to me.
There are SO many things that are the BEST going for me right now, because every moment presents itself as an opportunity of thanks for what is…my life.
😀 <–big grin!
Thank you for loving me. I remember when we first met. When we fell for one another. I was a tender 4yr old and my first love was 7. He swept me off my feet in the middle of a Spiderman cartoon on a Saturday morning…I was smitten for years. Young love…literally.
What I love about you Love…is that even when others have tried to use what they think they know of you against me… (because they didn’t REALLY know you) …you never left me. You never let anyone make me feel like you’d abandoned me. With your strong embrace and tender whispers…I held fast for you…as I always will.
I realize now…that I saw you in every lover…because you were my own reflection. Every ounce of faith, hope, trust, patience, desire…that I felt for them…was my own self. You came into me from my conception and swirled up from the depths of me to become the smile I’m wearing right now. Free from the manacles of illusionary love, cloaked in lust, lies and fairy tales…I see so clearly how it was always you there for me when all else failed.
Love, my love…I am so utterly over the moon happy with what you’ve placed inside of me. It is something that no man, woman or even ME can take away. You are more than romance and courtship. More than first kisses and butterflies. More than weddings and honeymoons. You are the forgiveness for failed relationships. You are the gentle remnants of affection for “love lost”. You are the spark of light threatening to be a supernova deep within those who love themselves and I…love me some me.
I also know…that one day, you’ll place someone in front of me who reflects what I embody. You’ll bring about a crashing wave of all that I imagined and more. Not in the fairy tale sense…but in the “oh snap this is REAL” sense. So, thank you, Love.
I love you.
`This is the “rundown” of 2008. My year started out STELLARLY! (yea, I made a word up, LOL) I genuinely had a life-changing year…no matter what it ended up looking like.
`The beginning of the year kicked off with love. I brought the New Year in literally being asked to be someone’s woman. No doubts that most people can attest that the beginning of love feels wonderful. It’s a natural hallucinogen and can be the sunrise in your day. For a long time throughout this year…this love was a very beautiful thing. It exists no longer…and sometimes I wonder if it ever did, but great things came from this experience…so I’ve decided to take it for what it was and wasn’t and be proud of the things I learned.
`My birthday was on the 10th of this year and I have to say it was the best to date. I received a few thoughtful gifts that truly made me feel loved and appreciated. I don’t really gauge my birthday on what I receive…but THIS year it was hard not to. My mother and sister gifted me with a laptop *stroking keys with love* so that made my YEAR!
`By February, I was co-hosting a show on Blogtalkradio and breaking out of my shell. I’m a VERY shy person, so public speaking in ANY forum isn’t welcomed…yet, there I was. I co-hosted for 8 months and then got my own show. The Kween’s Kouch started out as a way to place my own personality on the forefront…but as of right now, it’s an occasional springboard for poems and music.
`In late 2007 I acquired a few friends into my circle…one of which is Ebony Eyes (Dionne when I’m being serious). She became my sister and by June of 2008…I was meeting her and Mama (Ebony Krystal) at the Huntsville Airport in Alabama. We spent Dionne’s birthday weekend with her and solidified the bond we’d initiated through IM’s and phone conversations. Not only was meeting these two ladies a beautiful accomplishment, but the simple journey from NY to AL all by my lonesome for the 1st time was the truest triumph. I also made a shorter trip to Philly to meet our sister, Netty which was equally triumphant. See…I am Narcoleptic. I’d never been anywhere out of state without accompaniment. So, yes *fists pumped* I DID it! 😛
`Throughout this year, I’ve met people who have become very dear to me. Butterfly Effect (Joy) and I bonded through a transitional period for us both. We’ve been each others rocks and we’ll continue to be that. I met her and Curvy Queen (she won’t let me tell you her real name, lol) this year as well. We spent a very special weekend together and those two ladies (along with Joy’s boyfriend, Rob) helped me get through the loss of the love I found in January. I also became very close to a fellow BTR host, Howelegant (Sandi). She and I have yet to meet, but I am sure 2009 holds a visit in store. Even though I met my girl Danielle in 2007, she and I REALLY became close this year. We bonded in 2007 when I showed a pic and wrote a blog on my godson, Syre’s initial struggle for life. Dani was a nurse at the first hospital he was in and she remembered him right away. We’ve been sisters ever since.
`This year my Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays were THE best in almost ever. I had a BALL with my family and also spent time with my godson and his mom. I’ve found my way out of a shell. I’ve found myself some sisters. I’ve found myself some love…and I wont say I’ve lost it, because I am surrounded by love every day. I wish him the best in his life’s journey. For what it was…it was nice. Love ALWAYS resides within me, so even when I’ve let you in…and you’ve let yourself out…I still maintain love. That’s who I am. I won’t ever change to make anyone else feel good about who “I” am.
`I am thankful for God’s blessings and lessons and I pray that they’ve made me stronger, wiser, and better for 2009’s gifts of life. Be blessed everyone…I know I am.