Let’s Celebrate!!!

This walk through 30 days finding 30 ways to say, “hey”…has been akin to cracking knuckles and doing stretches before the big run. I feel like I’ve been testing my pipes, through a pen…well a type…and part way through I got hype off my own flow.

I’ve posted ME…my heart, my mind, my soul. The days I experienced mental fog and wanted to say fuck a blog…but did it anyway. I’ve pondered on life and lamented not being a wife…or a mom. I’ve praised the bond of girls, questioned the ways of the world…welcomed you into my mental swirls and remained Kween as it all unfurled.

~ok, now that I’ve finished waxing poetic~ lol

Thank you, Capn Kiss-n-Boots…for challenging my pen’s swagger. She brought the Nablopomo Challenge to my door and I accepted. Throughout this challenge I’ve learned a lot about my own repressions…the things that I don’t say to be kind or “disciplined”. Speaking whatever falls frontward to my mind has really been a breath of fresh air. And to think…this REALLY is a “self-imposed” challenge. At anytime I could’ve fallen off and decided I was done with it. No one was monitoring me or mandating this commitment. So, as much as it was a vehicle for expression and consistency…it was also one of will and determination.

Thank you, Butterfly Effect…for taking this ride with me. I know you didn’t finish it, but I also know why. You had a lot of things pile upon your plate recently and I wouldn’t have expected you to blog in the middle of “it all”…nonetheless…we encouraged one another throughout the majority of this month and were each other’s reminder at times to blog.

To think of it…I needed this push. Due to this challenge, I’ve been “forced” to write even when I didn’t feel like it. Stretching my literary prowess has enabled me to be that much closer to the end of my novel. Being in the position of needing to write and not having anything to write about is frustrating, but this challenge allowed me that luxury of finding my muse asleep, shaking her awake and keeping the ideas coming even in the middle of artistic exhaustion.

Kissy Poo, asked me if I’d do it again. I say, “yes”. I loved coming up with things to talk on…and because of what I learned and gained from it…I know that as an artist/writer…it’s imperative to have the skill to write on spec.

Know that I WILL be taking a short vacation from this blog. Just give me a couple of days…lol. I need a break from it, just to rest my overactive mind. Again…thanks for the support to those who have been loyal readers. Your feedback kept me coming back. Take that as a piece of advice. If you comment on the works of those whose blogs you read…it gives them encouragement to write more. With that…be blessed all.


sitting here with one foot polished…black this time. watching unreal reality. looking through glasses with scratched lenses…can barely see, but enough for it not to be blurry. two IM’s open…one active. an empty bowl where once banana pudding sat. light on. warm enough to keep the chills off. *i’m a little thirsty…or perhaps just a Pepsi addict* my mind is in several places at once. it’s in dc {how’s my little sister?} it’s in Alabama {how’s my brain share and the kids} ~wish i could see “PP”~ it’s in the imaginary home i want…one with a beautiful view of something viewable, a big fireplace made of neutral brick, a sunken living space, a raised bed area, a huge tub w/a pane-less garden window peering over something liquid and still. a gourmet kitchen (you didn’t think the kween that burns wouldn’t need a royal kitchen to burn in, would you?), a vast library of old and archaic dictionaries, thesauruses and encyclopedias, mythology, history, and science, a garden with herbs, flowers and vegetables, and a full laundry area where you can wash, dry, iron, fold and watch tv while doing it 🙂

…i also wouldn’t mind visiting some place like vegas, or paris, or bora bora…just so long as the company is SO good that we could be in a wack ass park in the ghetto and it would transform into a bench on the Seine.

i’m about to polish my other foot, watch another episode of the unreal reality *pushes up glasses* close out the IM’s that are now BOTH inactive. get some Pepsi and write/edit this book that is thisclose to being finished. thank God for the humble home i DO have and go say hi to moms…well, after i call grandma and tell her i love her.

what? i blogged…

Don’t Make NO Sense!

I watched Rosewood again this morning. I was SO mad when Esther Rolle got killed on her porch…for telling the TRUTH! They knew GOOD and well that woman hadn’t been raped…but rather than admit she was a lying whore…they torched homes, hung families…including women and children all for the “precious honor” of Fannie Taylor.
I saw this movie when it came onto VHS (yes, I rented it, lol) and I just remember being upset and crying at the animalism. The joy they took in killing “negras” and searching for the non-existent rapist. In spite of the fools that led the lynch party…there were a few who refused to be roped (no pun intended) into killing innocent folks on a foolish rampage of imaginary justice. John Wright, played by John Voight (Angelina Jolie’s father) was the merchant who helped hide some of the Rosewood survivors fleeing from imminent death in January 1923…and secured a train ride to Gainsville. 
Rosewood was a majorly Black/Seminole Indian populated town that had a thriving community where the families owned their own homes and businesses. They were upstanding citizens who were hunted down like wild dogs to satisfy the lie of a woman afraid to tell her husband the truth. As I watched this movie for what has to have been the 4th or 5th time…I looked at how disgusting hate can be. How ironic it was, to have them refer to Black folks as less than human, when it was THEM who displayed the ways of inhumanity. Barbecuing, dismembering and maiming the bodies of lynched and burnt men and women…ugh.
Anyway, I saw this movie and it had my spirit unsettled for a few. I’m ok now…but, I had to let it out. I think in a way, a part of me questions how much of that hate has REALLY dissipated. How just because we’re not being physically lynched, burned and killed…doesn’t change the fact that there are still hatemongers amongst us with the same mentality. The lynching has turned into false imprisonment and unnecessary brutality. The burning is something like rights being violated…and the killing? Well, they’re still doing that…they’re just finding ways to call it justified.

Don’t make NO sense!!

3 Days and Counting…

A blogger *that is me* is TIDE! I’ve just been so mentally exhausted for the past 2 weeks that it has been a wonder I have been able to blog daily to fulfill my challenge. 30 posts in 30 days…shit. I knew when I signed up for it I was in trouble, but LAWD if it’s not hard for a notoriously sporadic blogger to keep it popping every single day. I know someone who does this everyday and I just cant figure out how he does it. As soon as something of interest pops up in the news or around him…it is a blog in 0 seconds flat.
Of late, between some things I gotta get straight on the personal front, the hoopla of day to day life and some added drama from some not-so-leading characters…this month has been sprinkled with a lot of energy-consuming rigmarole that has tired me to a fault.
Anyway, I want to keep my promise and dig deep for the things that mean something to me…and because there are SO many, may explain the reason why I’m having a hard time getting food for thought. When there’s too much swimming around….it’s hard to grab hold to that one slippery point.
I guess, in a way…this challenge has helped me break through and become less calculated and controlling with what I choose to blog…and instead post thoughts as they randomly skip out of my mind. I just hope that in doing so, I’ve allowed a glimpse of me to be accessible to those who have been wanting to see a more personal look into da Kween’s life and personality.

I wonder if I’ll remain a blogging machine come December 1st. lol

Nom Yummy!

Well, I’m home.
Had “Thanksgiving” dinner at my sister’s house. Mom and I found our way up there earlier today and spent the entirety of the day there.
Sis made macaroni & cheese, baked ziti, candied yams, potato salad, red beans & rice, sweet potato pie and banana pudding.
Mom made ham, turkey wings, dressing/stuffing, collard greens and the gravy.
I made a pot roast w/carrots & potatoes…yep. The “cook” of the family was designated ONE dish. LOL
We ate, laughed, watched “Four Christmases” and “I Am Legend” (which neither my mom or I had seen yet) and laughed our asses off at Vince Vaughn…the nut.
I am not big on Thanksgiving and what it stands for…never have. You can cloak it in the reason for thanks all you like, it still symbolizes one of the many times a people have been culturally robbed of their rightful legacies. Yet, I indeed go where the love is. Going to wherever I can gather with the loved ones I rarely see anymore is something I wont pass up on. I went an entire 8 1/2yrs of being alienated from my family due to a relationship choice…I won’t do that again. Also, considering that people are running their own separate lives…it’s of the utmost importance to me to cherish these moments of togetherness. For what it’s worth…we’ll do this in the summertime for no reason at all…the menu will just be different.
I hope you all enjoyed your day. Much love to you! 

Um, yea…

…not much in the blogging mood so I’m just gonna leave you with a song, a poem and a piece of art.
I love Faith Evans…and this song is one of those songs that if you catch me in a certain mood, I’ll end up crying while singing. *getting choked up* This and “Reasons” just get me…

Until You Came – Faith Evans

I love poetry. I AM poetry and music. On any given day, I awake to one or the other…or both, shining rays of artistic shine on me. I sing in my sleep…oh yes I do…and poetry lives so deeply within, that I honestly believe that my picture should be next to the word in the dictionary. Anywho…I love this poem by Nikki Giovanni…”The Kidnap Poem”

ever been kidnapped
by a poet
if i were a poet
i’d kidnap you
put you in my phrases and meter
you to jones beach
or maybe coney island
or maybe just to my house
lyric you in lilacs
dash you in the rain
blend into the beach
to complement my see
play the lyre for you
ode you with my love song
anything to win you
wrap you in the red Black green
show you off to mama
yeah if i were a poet i’d 
kidnap you

Behind, writing, music, and cooking…I wish I’d painted. I love the concept of a mental picture playing out through loose colors and blurred lines. When looking for a piece of art to post here…I literally gasped and then teared up at the sight of all the impressionist paintings that came up. Wow. How beautiful are the colors? Anyway…here’s something that walked up, introduced itself and came right into my spirit…Something about scenery. I picture me being the eyes viewing this. A blanket underneath me, a breeze and air cascading effortlessly in and out of me. It’s a daydreamer’s thing, I guess. lol

Take the song…the poem…and the art…and breathe in some beauty for me. Happy Thanksgiving/Holidays to you all and be safe and blessed.

*um, did I blog again without knowing it?* LOL

Obligatory Blog

*running in and sliding behind laptop*
Well, I’ve been out gathering the goods for Thursday’s Bird Worship. I had to get a few things, like the pot roast, carrots and potatoes for one of the main dishes. Mom scooped up a “fat hawg” as Paula Deen says…along with some of the BIGGEST damn turkey wings known to man. I’m launching a full investigation into the missing ostrich, vulture or hawk…possibly lost in the vicinity of the mercado in my city. lol 
It never fails that a day or so before and after holidays…people get right down ignorific. One woman in Stop n Shop kept cutting my mom off like we were on the highway and she was driving her classic C class Mercedes and my mom was driving a broke down Civic. Clearly she don’t know my mom…shit…we drive a Camry, dude! LOL My mother is a minister…but, um…she still got a little kuntree girl in her. TRUST, she ain’t wrapped too tight. It could’ve been her arse. THEN, when we were about to pull up in a spot near the mercado…this chick swerves into the spot we were going to park in. I KNOW that heffa saw my mom angling for that spot. Funny how she pretended to be fixing her wack ass hair when we pulled past her slow like this was Boyz n the Hood in that bitch. We from a NC tribe called Whup-a-hoe!
I got the Nilla Wafers I promised sis I’d buy (if I wanted banana pudding) LOL. I’m ready to eat already. You know what I’m most hungry for? Stuffing. And sis’ mac n cheese. It’s dangerous man…it’ll make you smack a black mama…you gotta know you’re going to your grave and this is just WORF the trip. LMAO
Any who and any how…I’m hungry and will be having a cheese dog for dinner. DAMN I cant wait for the feast…leftovers will make my weekend PERFECTO!
So, there’s my obligatory blog for the day. Toodles Boo Boos 🙂

The Isle of Man

Are you self-sufficient? I don’t mean, do you hold a job, pay bills and provide for yourself and quite possibly others. I mean, are you all encompassing of what it is that it takes to live a FULL life. Do you not need a soul? Even if you did indeed provide for yourself by procuring and maintaining a source of income…do you still not need others? Who do you work for? Who works for YOU? Who consumes your product and supports your business?

Are you a doctor? Can you heal thyself? Do you have the capacity to diagnose and treat yourself? Do you raise your own food? Can you build your own vehicle? Gas it? Fix it? Did you birth yourself? If you did indeed find a way to live somewhere…where you could farm, didn’t need money or assistance in sheltering yourself…and could indeed make a coat from bear skin (assuming you survive the skinning)…what’s it worth?

I ask these questions…because I feel like we’re living in THE most selfish times of this era. I see more and more every day how people take for granted their family and friends and community. I see how people act as if the world around them is insignificant…like their world is the only thing of importance. People disregard each other so blatantly that it scares me to see humans losing their humanity. I often blame it on the heaviness placed upon possessions and status. The easy access of the Internet and it’s benefits. The way people see the rich displayed and cavorting across their screens on a regular basis. The self-entitlement. The elite life…glorified beyond family values and basic decency to each other. “The Microwave Society”…*ding* pick it up! Instant life! Instance success and notoriety. More now than ever I see how people make a small appearance on a reality show or something like it…and become celebrities. All for doing nothing more than standing there when the camera was rolling. Where they do that at?

What ever happen to treating people with kindness? The way we want to be treated? How about the whole “golden rule”? Where are those family traditions? Where is that village? 

When do you think of someone other than yourself? When do you forsake a desire to supply a need? When do you remember the “little person” when out and about. Do you stop to help someone in need? Do you find a way to make a conversation about you while being confided in? What is your contribution to this world?

“No man is an island” goes the adage…so can we act like it? Can we not wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas…Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day…or any other commercial holiday to give a damn about people? Can we treat this land we live and thrive on…like it is the ONLY island there is?

Please and Thank you in advance…

God bless 🙂

The Attic aka Kween’s Mind

Do you know what goes through a person’s mind when they’re not talking or thinking of talking? I like to know these things…and often wonder what rattles through the minds of others. I KNOW there’s some off beat chaos going on. HAS to be. No one thinks along a straight path all of the time. I imagine my “attic” to be a wonderland of cool trappings. Roller-coaster-like, mazes of paths made of words and music and whimsical images. I see a labyrinth of the past mixed with now and an uncanny peek into the nearest future. Wanna peek?

~”make my funk the p funk…I wants to get funked up”
~recipe #1 sausage stuffing
~the garden I want to grow
~nursery rhymes
~doo doo dooot dooo doooo
~commercial memory #1 “There’s no such thing as a bear sheriff”
~me sitting on the floor in my grandma’s house playing with a Barbie alone (and having a ball)
~junk food picnics with the girls
~the monkey doll that my cousin and I fought over when we were kids. It was “beige” with cloth “fur”…naked…and wore baby shoes…not to mention the dried oatmeal in his mouth that I tried to feed him.
~charcoal pencils
~reasons…the reasons that we’re here…
~big scary house I lived in as a baby
~YES…baby memories. Me in diapers…in the crib.
~kisses…nice kisses
~front seat, kisses, mmmm
~sweet sensation…so sweet….so sweet…so sweet…sweet sensation
~recipe #2 nachos…for right now…pot roast for thanksgiving
~commercial memory #2 Twinkies…you know…the one where he had a cowboy hat on lol
~butter…than butterflies…than spring…then me watching water

ok…lol. I think I’ve shared enough. This is just what was going through my mind in a span of 10 minutes of writing this. I wouldn’t wanna scare you with the other shit. LOL

*22 blogs down…8 to go*

5 Minutes Left

As I write this with the quickness

I slide this post in with some slickness
Tryna beat the clock to twelve
Into the night…I begin to delve
Knee deep in some thoughts I fight
The ones that leave me alone in fright
That the way I once believed in all things good
Is coming to a close with a bunch of “should”
I sit and ponder on this thing I see
Unfolding like a dramatic plot unmercifully
I step away so as not to let it hit my feet
But I end up against the wall…feeling weak
Amazed at how I got lost in this time
As the clock is now saying 11:59
I close this out and say good night…
I’ll see you tomorrow…I guess tonight…