Stay Outta My Scalp!!

One of my biggest issues with my own kind (meaning people of color who also happen to be of the female persuasion) …is that natural hair shit.

I’ve been natural for about 2 1/2 yrs. I did put a texturizer in a few weeks ago, but it looks like nothing happened. My hair is quite disrespectful!! LOL

Either way, My reasoning behind being natural stemmed more from these following things, than a movement of African pride:

~ When I DID relax my hair…it was 2 times a year…tops. That’s not good because it can cause breakage.
~ I hated getting scabs from the burning sensation. I’m QUITE tender-headed and couldn’t take it.
~ I wanted to see if I could get a varied sense of styling options (even though, my hair has been hard to tame. I’ve taken to co-washing, but the truth is…my hair never held many styles…even while relaxed.) I wanted to see what my hair texture was capable of.
~ I don’t know if I’m developing arthritis or carpal tunnel…but, I just know it’s getting increasingly hard to comb all of my hair. I lose at least 20 minutes in the morning on a bad day behind the frustration.

I don’t NEED anyone to tell me how relaxers affect the brain and blood (do research on why it is doctors suggest pregnant women don’t relax their hair during pregnancy.) I don’t need anyone to remind me of my heritage.

S/N: What the hell does that mean ANYWAY? I mean…if I chose my mom as my “hair model” rather than a white woman…my hair would still be “good” O_O because my mom is mixed. So…it’s ignorant to decide for the entire race that Black hair is assumed to be happily nappy. We have all kinds of genes swirling in our DNA pools and therefore, no one can determine what trait a child will come out with nor what grade of hair they’ll have.

Anyway…I’m tired of all of the harping on how one who decides to relax, straighten, etc…is “giving up” on her natural self. I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive. I know some loc’d and afro’ed folks who could take a lesson in our cultural history. I some “naturalistas” who don’t date within their own race and prefer to date non-black men. Wouldn’t someone who puts such stock in her natural hair and heritage want to marry and procreate with someone who shares her skin color and kinky hair? Right…go ahead, think on that…

How does someone feel they have a right to police my hair? Women get up in arms about anyone being up in their uterus! Don’t police my babies! Don’t police what violates my body! Don’t police my weight! Don’t police my skin color!! These are all of the things that women all over have a tendency to feel passionate about…yet, a lot of the same [Black] women feel the right to tell another sista about how natural she ISN’T, how Black she AIN’T, how weak she IS…just because she chooses to wear weaves, relax or flat-iron her hair…or GOD FORBID…shave it off.

btw…why ISN’T it as a big a deal to women to see a Black sista with a bald head or a low cut, yet they get up in arms about the processing of hair? Couldn’t someone assume that a person who never allows their own hair to grow past a certain length ..or at all…may have some kind of aversion to her own hair texture? Translation: Self-Hate/Hair Hate?

Right…think on that one, too. Get back to me when that makes sense. I hate to blog this shit again, but it’s just THAT much of a pain in my ass…quit it already.

In the meantime…if I decided to wear a fro or a bone-straight style…I’m still a beautiful woman of color. Proud of who she is…but, not allowing ANY one to define her.

::going to price flat irons::


As I am about to do my hair…I thought back to a few things I’ve seen posted here and there and I gotta say…

I am SO sick of hair snobs. I don’t care if you’re hair is the nappiest kink, an extreme coil, a silky wave or a naturally thin straight. I don’t care if you “found” yourself one year and decided that you were tired of wearing the white woman’s crown. I don’t care if you grew up with a hair complex and think that long straight hair is the most beautiful hair. I don’t care if you’re weave-licious but wear your hair natural underneath. Do you see where I’m going? I hope so…because AGAIN…black people have found a reason to continuously separate themselves from each other. This is NOT a Spike Lee joint. This is life…and life is about appreciating our differences and various physicality. The slave mentality is NOT the desire to look white…it’s the lack of desire to embrace each OTHER. It’s the ignorance that comes with our own inner caste system which divides us from the top of our heads to the souls of our feat. The mentality begins and ends with blurred lines of self-inflicted alienation from our brethren.

I admit…I’m lazy when it comes to my hair. I hate washing my hair. I hate DOING my hair. I WILL whip it into something nice on the way out the door…but, I’m a pony tail girl any other day of the week. I once went 7 years without a perm. My hair grew like a weed on speed. I washed it, oiled it, braided it, etc…and you know what was so funny? People STILL thought my hair was a weave. Finally after years of going natural and not REALLY knowing what to do with it…I went back to the fried, dyed and laid to the side look. One chick ran her fingers through my scalp in search of tracks. *smh* I didn’t do it because I hated my natural hair. For me it was ease. I didn’t have to do crap to it but wash it and slick it back. Does that make me less than a REAL black woman…ABSOLUTELY not. Do I have a warped sense of self? NO ma’am/sir. Do I not own my “blackness”? (whatever the hell that is). Do I not still walk with kween swagger? Bitch.Boo.Bye! Check it. My hair is beautiful…in it’s natural state AND it’s “processed” state. Why? Because it is MINE…and it is a part of ME. I am not my hair, as India.Arie said. I am not my “lighter shade of skin”…I am not my “fluffy” frame…I am not my “geek status”…I am not the cheeseburgers I love…I am not my clothes, residence, or the friends I choose. I am a stand out, unequivocally GRAND design of God’s. I won’t let someone who chooses to relish in their kink, tell me that because I DON’T…somehow I’m stuck in a white woman’s world. With all of the amalgamations of genes in this world…how is anyone to define what “black hair” should look like. I know chicks who have natural hair and STILL rock wigs and weaves. No offense NOR judgment to those sistas…but, like me…they sometimes lean towards ease and variety. Is EVERY sista who wears her hair natural, confident? NOPE…because going natural doesn’t equate to cultural pride. It doesn’t mean that every insecure thought goes away. It doesn’t mean that she stops hating what she sees in the mirror…anymore than having a perm means you’re an oreo. I have friends who are natural and love it. I have FAB girls who go from the stunning shaved Ms. Tracey…to the newly natural, Dee…to Nya Papaya’s (Melissa) natural waves…and my loc’d sista Mahogany. They are as different as their choice of hair style.

Is beauty in this country warped? HELL YEA…there are barriers of beauty that are still stigmatized and perpetuated. From body shapes, to facial feature, to hair texture, to geographical origin, to height and on and on. Do they need to be debunked and put to bed? OF COURSE!! What will it take? How about start with living your own life…being at peace with who you are first…and instead of ridiculing, dismissing and harboring snobbish judgments…accept folk for who they are. If I wanna relax my hair, eat a burger and drink a Pepsi. So BE it…because I DAMN sure wont be trying to convince you to process your fro, give up tofu and wheat shakes in order to validate my own beliefs. Hell, I AM tryna put the burger down. My ass is thicker than a Frosty…lol. Yet…Between all the differences we encompass and the attitude of self-righteousness…our people are going to remain on the slow climb to unity. All because instead of worrying about my mind state…you’re concerned with my hair. Treat the mind set first…and then work on the hair, because lack of perm just means you’re nappy…not necessarily happy.

Shit…I’m tender-headed ANY damn way. And I’m TIDE!

Shout-outs to my natural beauties…Almondie, B-Cup, Blossom, Yesha, Letrice, Sun Ree, Twin, Aly Boo, Cousins Shelley & SheRah/Megan & Kaitlyn, Starrdusstt, Sonja…and my mommy! 🙂