11~ Silly Of Me

I’m sorry, this shit was hilarious!!

Whom (no names, if you prefer) did you love, who didn’t love you back?

~sigh~

I could kick myself in the ass for asking some of these questions…really.

Now that I’m reading the question, it’s so different. I understand that because someone doesn’t love you back the way YOU want them too, doesn’t mean that they didn’t love you to their own capacity. People do better when they know better and if someone has always had dysfunctional love with no core sense of true love (whether it be family or friends) they might not ever really get it. Perhaps they walk away with the lesson and do better with the next. Who knows?

My first love didn’t love me the way I hoped. He was ashamed, it seemed to be seen with the chubby girl from across the hall. I didn’t have a Coke bottle shape, the longest hair (back then my hair wasn’t as long as it is now), the designer clothing, etc. I was a simple girl, living across the hall in the PJ’s with my grandmother…and though I had things, I didn’t have the things that kids prized above everything else. I was a “nerd” (they use geek now…back then, I was a goody-two shoe NERD). I was smarter than your average bear and often had a perspective of an adult. Not someone you wanna take to a teen/adolescent party. I’m going to church every Sunday, singing in the choir and have a mom who will kick a door in to find me…so yea. I wasn’t the one you wanted to tiddlywink with if you weren’t serious. I get that now, back then…it stung like a hornet’s kiss.

Recently, he put me in my place. He told me that we had one of the best relationships he’s been in because we had the friend AND lover aspect and still had a great deal of love for one another. It shocked me, but gave me a closure I didn’t even think I still needed.

The other person…well, fuck him. His loss.