STFU!!! (a lil rant)

I’m gonna piggyback on a blog my girl [fungke] [blak] [chik] wrote, called “If You Can’t Take An Opinon, Stop Reading My Blog“. In it, she stated how often people say, “you’re hating” when it’s really an opinion. It’s ok you, know..NOT to like something or someone. We all have a right, so to speak…to our own opinions. I mean, I learned in elementary school the difference between fact and opinion. Need a recap? Fact is real, proven and indisputable. Opinion is a guess, a perceptive statement and easily refuted. I see it every day…people get riled up with opinion. It’s one of the reason why in spite of being somewhat of an “intellect” *gagging* I tend to work HARD of late…to keep my opinions to myself. I can remember when I used to debate a thing to death…but I so hate arguing nowadays. I’d be trying so hard…not to get them to agree…but to be open to why I’d think differently. You know how you say, “let’s agree to disagree”? That rarely happens. Most people walk away thinking either, “She’s a know-it-all” or “She’s an asshole”…and either way…the point you were trying to make falls away to stubborn opinion.

O-pin-ion..take the p and i out (your personal interest) and you have the word onion. LOL Yep…layers of shit that just brings tears…or just stinks. So, indeed…I know we have them and am used to people dispensing theirs like penny candy.

BUT…the hating? Well that is different. Hating to ME (my asshole) is when it’s not just an opinion…which usually stems from preference. It’s when it stems from an envy or jealousy. OR when it comes from self-hate and being unfulfilled personally. YES, people look at others who are doing them (without knowledge of their existence) and have “opinions” about everything. That person’s life, choices, achievements or lack of. I personally, don’t care what the hell someone else is doing with their lives. As long as they’re not hurting me or anyone I care about…why should I? Especially, if I don’t know them. I do look at people like politicians, religious heads and people in the position of fundamental responsibility, like teachers, doctors, etc…and care what influence THEY have on the world. They are a big part of what can go right and wrong with an average life. Yet still, I cannot judge, because in order to know you must go through it…in THEIR skin. Your shit…ain’t my shit…ain’t the next person’s shit. Two teen moms don’t necessarily share the same issues because of what THEIR own environment was like. One could’ve been supported by their family…the other not. SO…I keep my mouth shut unless it is something that is atrociously out of order for the sake of what is right.

Hating on people’s careers…choices…relationships…mistakes…etc…is a bit much to me. Everyone’s mouth is moving 24/7 about something that isn’t their shit to understand. STFU!!! Nit picking away every little thing…when your shit is CRACKED and on the ground,! My girl Celeste said to me, “Hurt people, hurt people” and she was right. Broken, fractured, fragile people, sitting back hating…yes HATING on the success of others. If someone is out there, grinding it out…bless em. If someone is struggling against demons…bless em. If someone is trying to do something positive…bless em. Why is it so hard to just be happy for someone out there LIVING and not just BEING? Oh, and for the record…no one can remain at the top forever. We all have and will fall short. We all mess up and live to regret it…such is life…but, sitting back in judgment and disdain for others…especially folk who will never hear nor care about your little “opinion” is over the top, straight HATING!

This came from watching a SLEW of bullshit, hating-ass comments on Twitter. I’m so glad half of em were retweets…that way, I can be proud to not have been following some of these hateful individuals…PLEASE don’t make me break out that video!!! lmaoo

PUSH to Precious

A Saturday in October…I invited my friend Joy to come up where I live and go to the movies with me. Along the day’s planning my mother was invited as well. I let Joy choose the movie…she chose “I Can Do Bad All By Myself”. It wasn’t my first choice, but it was a good movie. I wanted Joy to be happy, so that was all that mattered…she needed cheering…if only by a few hours of being somewhere other than her own 4 walls…so the day was successful if for no other reason than she wasn’t home alone in her thoughts.

The previews set in…I love previews. I love the WHOLE movie experience. I’m not one of those impatient folk who has to see the movie right away and complains that the preview section is too long. HUSH, I say…see what ELSE is coming out! lol. I saw a few movies I want to see…”Couple’s Resort” with Faison Love and Vince Vaughn. “Lovely Bones” a thriller about a little girl’s murder…and Precious, a movie based on the book PUSH by Sapphire. Precious is starring a young lady named Gabourey ‘Gabby’ Sidibe as the entitled character. Her mother is played by Mo’Nique, whose role is CLEARLY against the type she’s expected. Speaking of people stepping out of their type, Mariah Carey plays the dowdy social worker and Lenny Kravitz, has a role as well. I am not sure if it’s his 1st role in a movie, but I know I’ve never seen him in one. Either way, I want to see this story.

This story is ugly…much like the name Precious is called over and over again in the 2 or more minutes of the preview. Not because SHE is ugly, but because the truth of how people are in this world is ugly. I’m sure not every parent is born with the instincts to love, protect, and build healthy people of their children…but to see examples of how wrong that can go is undoubtedly sad. When I saw the preview I cried…because one…I don’t like to see people demeaned, belittled and disgraced. Especially over societal views of what “beautiful” is. Two…growing up, I encountered ridicule from kids and adults, too. I look back at my pictures…and I wasn’t an “ugly” child…so, I don’t know why I was called that. I can only chalk up a lot of the chatter from other things such as skin color. Black-Americans have a negative inner caste system when it comes to skin color. Features play a huge part in the stigmatization of beauty vs ugliness. Flatter noses and thicker lips, regardless of skin tone can be seen as ugly. Still…The light-skinned vs. dark-skinned thing is an issue within our own culture and it shouldn’t be. I’ve been called too light…I’ve been called not light enough, and I suspect that growing up that was one of the components of a building complex I had for a long while. Being “thick” didn’t help. I got picked on incessantly for being weighty. I wasn’t even “fat” per se…but, I was stocky and couldn’t be considered skinny once I hit the 4th or 5th grade. What always knocked people off their square, was seeing how the “big” girl could outrun, catch, snatch AND pass most kids my age. Looks are surely deceiving…but, I digress. I can mostly empathize with the girl in this role. On so many levels she is me…still. Not always knowing your value comes with with the territory of having been taunted about your physical looks. When I was younger my ears were uneven. One stuck out further than the other and I was teased relentlessly about it. GEEZ, did my friends give me hell about that one…a sister and brother especially. I won’t say their names, but if they were to read this…they’d get it. LOL. I’m over it NOW, because…well…I’m FINE! HA! Yet, growing up…a little girl doesn’t know that she’ll be swan fine when all the kids see is an ugly duckling. To this day, I can hear a certain friend of my mother’s calling me that. When she said it out loud to my mother after years of not seeing me, suggesting that I’d “finally” gotten pretty…my mother got defensive. She’d never known that my “aunt” had looked at me as if I weren’t as beautiful as her own daughters. Either way…it confirmed in my being that people were superficial and cruel, and most likely did those things because they themselves didn’t feel adequate. I say that I am still Precious in some ways, because there is a part of MOST people who is affected by the things their loved ones say or don’t say. When starved, you crave…when overfed…you waste. It’s simple. I just hope that with stories like this one…we can push the issues of individual hatred further and further to the back…leaving room for nothing but acceptance of humans as they are.

No one can call me ugly now. I’d laugh in the face of that word. I’m God-made…God-created…God-loved. I don’t need the co-signing of man nor woman nor child to feel beautiful. It took me a long road to get here and I’m sure that when I see the movie “Precious” I will see a little or a lot of myself in it. I’m prepared to cry for her, for me, and for all the women out there who grew up feeling unloved, unwanted, unprotected and purposeless. I’ll be back with a review when I do see it.

Destiny – Mary J. Blige