The Eleventh Day…

a pic of my boo…I stepped to the side so he could shine…

…a daydream you have often

Okay, be prepared to side eye me…

I have a full on, grown up, daydream that wears heels and thongs and walks with an attitude. My daydream could be a short story…

It starts with Laz Alonso. In my daydream, he’s my man. He brings me to all of his events…this time, I’m dragging HIM along, See, Oprah’s interviewing me on “Oprah’s Next Chapter” and she wants to know all about me and my books.

We sit on her couch, hold hands and he tells Oprah how I support him and make him feel like no woman ever has…and Oprah tells us the same thing she told Beyonce and J-Hud! “Don’t tell everyone your business…” and we promise to remain private. Oprah wants to know how I lost weight after the wedding and I just tell her, “All that good lovin’ Laz be putting down…worked it RIGHT on off”…even though…he wants me to gain some weight. He liked me better before. So we tell Oprah we won’t let nobody come between us and we’ll stay out of the spotlight.

…but, it doesn’t matter because everywhere Laz goes he waves into the camera and says hi to his “mami”…that is, when I’m not beside him, wowing the crowd. Folks saying, “That’s Kween…the author…her books are BANANAS!!”

The paps and press are yelling to get photo ops for both of us! “LAZ! LAZ!” “KWEEN, OVER HERE…KWEEN!!” and I pause. They click and BOOM, we’re off to an event.

When we’re not show-stopping, we’re home or on a vacation. We love to travel. Every other trip is one of our own. Last trip, Laz chose…this trip, I choose. We end up in Bora Bora and have a bungalow on the water. We do water activities and hike during the day…blow each others…minds at night. lol

We have a few homes. We live in L.A. mostly for his shows and movies. We have one in upper Westchester which is near my family and we have one in Miami…we’re thinking of buying a chateau in France. I love France.

This winter, we’re visiting my girl Joy and her husband, Jesse. They invited us over to celebrate the birth of their new baby girl. She’s gorgeous…looks just like me. hahaaa! We’re waiting for Maria and her man to bring they ass…always late, them two. If only they’d stop pulling over and getting it in they could make it some damn where on time.

My main home in L.A. is gorgeous…it overlooks Malibu Beach.  We have an infinity pool, a huge vegetable garden, fruit trees, tennis and basketball courts and a huge gourmet kitchen. Our bedroom is amazing and has two huge closets…his and hers. The bathroom is like another bedroom, but with a bathtub and shower.

Everything is beautiful here and I couldn’t be happier…except for the few times of year one of my exes hits me up wanting to know “How I’m durn…”

"O" Really?

Damn, this comes right after a blog saying I hate “political” debates.

Oh well…lol

Oprah came on today and she had ex-detective, Mark Fuhrman on. If you’re too young, or you were smoking that shit at the time…Mark Fuhrman was one of the detectives who reported on the Simpson case in ’95 when Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman were murdered outside the former Mrs. Simpson’s condo. Mark was the one accused of withholding and tainting evidence…namely the infamous glove that “didn’t fit”.

Anyway, during the trial of the century…Ms. Oprah Winfrey declared that she would not be interviewing nor discussing the trial. She made it clear (not sure if she SAID what she believed happen or just inferred) that she believed in OJ’s guilt. She said she would NOT have anyone on the show, ESPECIALLY OJ, himself when she had very definite ideas as to what happened.


I’m all for people taking sides. Do you. Be on the side of right (or what side you FEEL) is right. I am NOT here to argue whether he did it or not. Twelve people said he didn’t…another 12 said he was “indirectly responsible” in a “wrongful death” suit against him in civil court. Either way you flip that meat…the man was acquitted criminally and crucified publicly. If you believe he did it…so be it. If not…so be it. What I always think is fascinating, is when people form such an opinion on an event they weren’t present for. THINKING he did it…FEELING he may have done it…and having a psychic premonition that he did or didn’t…still isn’t being there when Nicole and Ron took their last breaths. We’re all STILL assuming and that is the truth. Unless you had a bird’s eye view to it or wielded the weapon…you don’t know JACK…Jack!


For Ms. Winfrey to hypocritically turn around after the trial and interview the prosecuting lawyers Marcia Clark and Chris Darden…was a “wow” moment for me. I felt like she’d somehow compromised her credibility and word by doing so. This is a woman who has had KNOWN, CONFESSED murderers of women and/or children or molesters on her show. Whether by satellite or in person…she’s given plenty of non-Black offenders the chance to speak their piece. Why not OJ? I feel that there is a breech in her journalistic integrity. You as a media mogul…a BLACK woman who is a media mogul…where is your impartiality for a BROTHA? Yea…I just pulled out my Kween X on you. What’s up with that, O?

I’m not concerned for what side you’re on. It’s over. It happened. Those two people cannot be reanimated and placed back into the lives of their family. No amount of debate can do that. What I am speaking on is an ongoing thing that plagues our culture…celebrity and NON-celebrity. We are harshest on each other…in the name of fairness, which sucks elephantine alien balls.

I wonder if the Illuminati got to her. I wonder if they promised to multiply Amarillo’s Beef vs. Oprah debacle by 100 on her ass if she dare say a word. You don’t think they know her pull? How she can say, iPod nano and sell millions in a week? You don’t think they’d silence someone who has the pull to make millions of folks put down beef and cripple the bovine business? All I’m saying is…either O is one hell of a hypocrite…or the “enlightened ones” pulled her coat and promised to make Chinese food of her pups. #IJS

{{If you don’t see my blog tomorrow…it was nice knowing you all and I love you for following and reading, lol}}

Monkey Bullshit

I watched Oprah today. I rarely watch her show anymore. Today, though…I don’t know if I watched because of the unveiling of Charla Nash‘ disfigured face…or just the story behind it. I’d heard so many people’s assumptions of what happened with Travis the monkey…from the woman having sex with him and him being fed up *insert a WOW* to the many other inane conclusions. I will admit that I did NOT read too much on it. I heard the story and even saw a Youtube parody of it (which I made a favorite at the time and have since removed it for personal reasons).  So, when today’s Oprah came on…this was indeed my first time really understanding what took place. Yet, that’s not what’s got me typing. I could definitely have jumped on the bandwagon and showed you a pic of Charla Nash, but this is not just about her.

We humans tend to personify animals way too much! I joke and play with someone whose cat gets dressed to the nines and then into a polo, jeans and kicks…all through the fun of imagination and a good laugh. Yea, we crazy…lol…but for real. This is something I’ve been saying for a long time and I stick to my guns on it. I know that people love their pets and love to make them a part of their family. In doing so, a lot of folks like to dress up their pets. I never knew that a dog or cat or any other naturally furred animal needed extra help keeping warm. I understand that an animal that is domesticated may not know how to survive normal things like keeping warm and procuring their own meals…so, I get that depending on the climate one lives in, or the size of the pet, or even whether they have short or long hair can determine whether they may need a Snuggie. All jokes aside though…when you start making exotic animals your pet, you’re looking for a dangerous situation to unfold. No animal…not even your average cat or dog…has forgotten their animals instincts so thoroughly that they wouldn’t turn and attack. It happens…CLEARLY! So the whole dressing up animals and allowing venomous and/or unpredictable animals playing with the kids…is beyond my comprehension.

Every time I look up, someone is trying to domesticate wild felines, big snakes, primates, etc. First of all…anything that can choke the life out of me, whose open mouth is bigger than my head, or has teeth as long as my fingers…hell and TO the unmitigated NO! I am not endangering my life or the life of anyone else for the love of an animal. Maybe that is what gets me…that people care more for animals than they do other humans. How twisted is that? How crazy is it that people care more about animals (“Oh, they can’t speak for themselves or defend themselves from us encroaching on their habitat”)…but, are so quick to disregard the life of another man or woman? 

Don’t get me wrong…
I love nature shows and how they survive IN THEIR HABITAT! But if I knew someone lived a fence or so away from me who owned something that scared the hell out of me, like a cobra or some off shit…I’d keep one eye open on the windows and doors and the other on the cell and knives. That’s just me…but, I think it starts with a few things. Remembering that your pet IS an animal. I love my cat-nephew Gizmo. (lmao) He’s a cutie, he’s crazy and he’s funny…but, he’s a cat. Period. I don’t DO pets in my bed. I don’t DO pets where I eat. Cats and other house pets don’t belong on the counter or at the table. I’d love on my pet and the whole nine…but, a whole bunch of treating them like children and allowing them in spaces where they cross over from pet to human domain…no. Putting clothes on them and spending exorbitant amounts of dollars on those same clothes, shoes, and pet accessories is insane to me. I’m sure Travis’ owner thought it was okay to have him out of his cage, chilling, playing with her in the house. I also wondered why Travis didn’t attack HER. That one has got me tripping. She was there but called Charla to “help” her get Travis into his cage…a woman who in her own words thought was “big and scary”. Something is wrong with that story…more holes than swiss…and now so is that woman’s life.

I cried watching that. It hurt me that this woman’s quality of life is diminished because of an animal that didn’t even belong to her…but mostly, because of her will. She had the spirit and will to fight for her life. The medics said she was still conscious when they arrived…her face and arms shred…she was still awake on arrival to the ER. Today, as Oprah had sung Happy Birthday…she laughed. She LAUGHED! She has laughter in her life and she cant even express it because of this tragedy.
If you think you have it bad…go look at Charla Nash and ask yourself, if it’s REALLY that bad. Oprah said, “I have no excuses”…wow. Agreed.

PLEASE unclothe these animals and stop playing. LOL