B.L.O.G. ~ Blurbing Lots Of Gripes

I belong to a few sites…this being one of probably 5. Myspace is EVERYONE’S space…360’s circle is becoming halved by all the glitches, and Multiply is dividing. LOL

I have a couple other sites that I joined for the sake of friends invitations but, I barely visit those anymore. I’ve also become SO bored with the inability to truly speak your mind without it being the cause for sensation and drama. The point of blogs/journals are to allow you to speak your peace/piece and get things off your chest about your day. Your life (however much or less you choose to share) and just your gripes, accomplishments, woes and wows. To have anyone try and censor that, judge your views or make you feel low for your expressions is the end of freedom of speech. I guess, too…that even freedom of speech isn’t FREE. You pay the price for speaking your mind. Judgment, blackballing, accusations of self-righteousness, betrayal, etc…make for big rent on these sites.

I am a do-gooder. I make friends for one reason or another…usually, I am there as a support system. I also have friends who are there and support ME as well. I hate to see people getting the shaft, short end of the stick or being branded as an underdog. It just MIGHT be a disease. LOL…needing to help. Mediate. Soothe. Empathize. Always trying to make the unloved feel loved and the doubted feel vindicated. Yet, sometimes…I end up finding myself in situations where I regret caring. Giving a damn is overrated. I also am going to admit something. *drum roll please* I AM A CONTROL FREAK! LOL (well sort of). I don’t really try to make people do what they don’t. People are free to behave and be however they so choose. If a person says they don’t want to be my friend, lover,etc…I will respect their wishes. If a person chooses to feel or see things a certain way, I wave my hand in concession and keep it moving. The only time I fight tooth and nail, is when a person is making assumptions about MY character. I wont allow anyone to disparage me. PERIOD. I’ve had enough of being told throughout my life what I am NOT. No more. I am at the age (35) where I am who I am for the most part. Either love me or leave me alone. I guess its just that if I see bitter, I try to give them sweet. If I see cynical, I try to sprinkle their outlook with reminders of innocence. I do indeed try to sway them with optimism, knowledge, understanding…but, I am learning that some fights are best left not fought.

One of the BIGGEST pet peeves I have with folk, is their willingness to be curt, blunt and tactless when expressing their own shit, but then turn around and are THE most sensitive souls. It’s a weak trait, because it indicates that the bravado and mouthiness is often talk to protect the more tender parts of themselves. It pisses me off to have people infer things or put words or meaning into your mouth and heart all to fend of their own feelings of insecurity or guilt.

I am tired. I have been on the Internet actively for 3yrs. I am NOT used to it. I don’t think I will EVER be used to incessant drama. Children posing as adults. People pretending to be trustworthy. Liars disguised as angels. I am taking a step back from the sites I frequent the most. I am considering coming HERE and blogging to get the brunt of life’s worries off my chest.

Wanna blurb lots of gripes…that’s all. LOL