Damn, Ladies…

Women Unite!!!

…or maybe not.

Why is that though? Why is it that women PERIOD seem so easily pushed to turn on one another. It doesn’t take much at all. The moment a woman leaves the room, something negative is uttered. A woman sees a confident woman doing what makes HER happy…out comes the claws.

I’ve never seen such meanness. I see so much side-eyeing, side-swiping, side-talking on a daily basis. In my Facebook feed, my Twitter timeline, my tumblr dashboard, my office, the store, reality TV…GEEZ la-fuggin-WEEZ!

I can’t even say it’s all about men, either. I’ve seen chicks hate each other for simple looks. “She thinks she’s this…” …whether that be her thinking she’s cute, smart, sexy, whatever…I see it.

WHY can’t a woman just look at another woman who is doing her thing and quite possibly succeeding at it…and give her kudos? And MEAN it? Why is it so hard for women to be honest with each other?

Has society pitted us against each other with it’s views of beauty and worthiness? Have we been indoctrinated over the years with superficial peeves about each other? Hair, clothes, weight, skin color…MEN? Yes, SOME of the issues are about men and the attention level one may get over the other.

If I see a woman doing something productive, making her life count for something and being a positive force…I can’t hate her. I love her grind. I love her determination and if I’m not doing what I feel I should be doing, I pray that she’ll inspire me. No, everyone doesn’t have to be inspired  Hell…if you seriously have a reason to dislike or hate…then do you, but why must that be the only thing you have to offer? If I don’t like someone, I just don’t deal. I don’t care if she’s the average Jane or if she’s a celebrity. I seriously don’t like much of Nicki Minaj’s works. Rather than [at any given opportunity] go in on how good she’s NOT…I just don’t listen to her music. I don’t entertain her interviews. There’s no need for me to hold a hate campaign against her. If anything…I respect her carving out a place in the industry for herself.

I refuse to succumb to the title of a “crab in a barrel” by hissing in her direction or any OTHER female I may not care for. It’s not to say you can’t have an opinion, Ladies…but, why does it HAVE to include a hateful lambasting of “that bitch” that you PROBABLY don’t even KNOW well enough to have an opinion on? How do you arrive at a conclusion about any person you’ve never held a conversation with? That to me is a problem and it’s a seemingly BIGGER problem among my very own people. Yes, Black women…I’ve seen some HATEFUL ass comments about each other online. No sense of respect, boundary or basic loyalty to a caste of people who severely need to be unified. Nope…just crazy, insane, nonsensical hate and bitterness toward one another.

This HAS to stop!!

…but, HOW? Where does it begin? Does it begin with saying nice things in lieu of judgments? Does it come with changing the way you speak to people (changing the attitude and being less offensive/defensive)? Where do we begin? How do we pass on love, respect, peace and a sense of community love in place of hate, disdain, envy and division?

I don’t know. For ME, it’s checking mySELF. I rarely have a catty thought anymore. I used to have one from time to time, but those are far and few between. Nowadays, if I find myself rolling my eyes at you…I’ve truly come to that feeling by way of observing you or getting to know you…and even THEN, I don’t feel strongly enough to talk badly about you or wish you ill. Even when people have left my circle…I still send love their way. Why do anything else? Does it benefit ME to be a bitch and be a self-proclaimed warning signal that says, “I’M A BAD BITCH…BEWARE!”? Sure doesn’t. I refuse to sully my overall energy with that kind of negative brashness.

Please ladies…PLEASE consider how you speak. How you perceive each other. How you treat each other. Women are beautiful in so many ways and we must celebrate that in each other daily. Anything else is a crime.

Come out of the litter boxes, damnit! LOL

Peppermint Patty or Marcie?





Which one are you? If either?


If you’re Peppermint Patty (we’ll call her P.P. for short)…then you’re the one in charge. You’re the kinda chick whose friend[s] roll with her out of fear, need, or boredom. You can’t roll with Lucy, because she’ll probably kick your ass. You don’t roll with Sally, because she’s too young and she’s C.Brown’s sister, so you don’t want to hurt her or you’ll never sniff C.Brown’s breath. The little Red-Headed girl is too “cute” for you…with her, you become the “ugly friend”. At least with Marcie, no one’s checking for her either, so you like rolling with someone on equal or lower status than you. You make Marcie do all of your dirty work. If you want to know something, send Marcie. Marcie will watch your kids, do your laundry, loan you cash, tell you what you want to hear and call you “sir” all the while.


If you’re Marcie…chances are you’re probably smarter than P.P. You hang with her because she’s the only one that acknowledges you’re around. You KNOW that if you had balls you wouldn’t even deal with her. You’d get some contacts…or not, create your own circle or hook up with Lucy. At least then, you’d know that Lucy would beat the tar shit out of P.P. for rolling up wrong.


Okay, yea…I took The Peanuts and thugged em out a little..but there’s a message. As I sit watching yet another reality show (Basketball Wives)…I grow disgusted more and more by the moment watching Evelyn run roughshod over every chick on the show. Shaunie, the producer and HBIC… invites Tami Roman (ex of Kenny Anderson and ex-Real World cast member) to meet…and she decides she already doesn’t like her. (Fast Forward to the preview of an upcoming show where Tami lunges into Evelyn’s ass). I hate that no one checks her…assertively…on her shit. There’s something to be said for the kind of woman who doesn’t want her friends to like ANYONE but her…to the point, she’ll sabotage every other connection. I bask in the variety of friends I have…and I’m cool that each friend I have has her own bestie or her friend isn’t quite mutual. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. If you’re stuck under your friend too much, it can make you grow sick of them. Weeks go by before I spend a day or more with my friends and I’m cool on that. I have always been a homebody and I revel in my alone time. It feeds my writer’s passions and my artist’s inspirations. Too much of everyone else’s energy can drown out the call of your own individual desires.


It’s a damn shame that chicks are so catty…especially when you’re in your 30’s, parents and responsible citizens with jobs/careers. Grow up Peppermint Patty…and quit wearing the damn Birkenstocks. Get you some Uggs. LOL