The Thirteenth Day…

l to r: Tony, his daughter Amber, my mom in the white, Grandma, Daquan and Auntie

…a Christmas Day memory

I could go back in time, but I’d much rather love on the Christmas of 2012. I had one of the best Christmases ever since childhood this past December.

Firstly, It was one of the few Christmases I actually was excited for. I don’t know why. I normally shrug at holidays. Definitely not a fan of commercial days based on religious/historical inaccuracy or ritual. Anyway…I normally let my mom do her thing, go see our family and not care if I’m riding shotgun or not. This time was different.

For one, my Auntie (in the purple) would be visiting and staying a week with us. She’d moved down to NC in September. Also, my cousin Tisha and her family would be up from SC.

Daquan, Amber, Tisha and her husband, Tony

I was also able to give my godson Syre a cool Christmas. I got him a Transformer (Bumblebee, my favorite as well as his) and he loved it. I had fun playing Santa to my sister’s “stepson” and my niece (Joy’s daughter) Chloe. Joy and I also “put in” and gave my mom a Kindle Fire.

We went to Mt. Vernon and visited my grandmother ON Christmas AND the day after. The day after, because that’s when my uncle and his family usually come through.

Uncle Kenny
His wife (center) and his baby girl Megan (with the silly face) and Kaitlyn

We had a ball. We ate, laughed, chilled. I saw my father (he has those pics) and I could say that it was the first time since my grandmother passed that I was in her home without her there for the holidays. It was weird to see his girlfriend at the stove preparing food…like my grandmother did. Chile, don’t get me started. LOL

We also had a great Thanksgiving. We went down to Mt. Vernon and us cousins cut up. I have to share this pic, because it’s the four of us that grew up in the same house for so many years. So much so…we’re not cousins anymore. We’re brothers and sisters. Seeing these folks made my year!

My sister and I flanked by our “brothers”…Arthur (BOOBIE) on your left and Damyan on your right

It was a marvelous holiday and I’ll cherish it forever.

12 Days of Xmas: Kween Style (sing it)



On the 1st day of Christmas my mama said to me…and don’t you burn my meeeeat!
On the 2nd day of Christmas my mama said to me, Make 2 batches
On the 3rd day of Christmas my mama said to me, Fry 3 chickens
On the 4th day of Christmas my mama said to me, Make 4 more servings
On the 5th day of Christmas my mama said to me, FIIIIIVE CHICKEN WIIIINGS!
On the 6th day of Christmas my mama said to me, Use 6 spices
On the 7th day of Christmas my mama said to me, Give it 7 minutes
On the 8th day of Christmas my mama said to me, Dinner is at 8
On the 9th day of Christmas my mama said to me, 9lbs for 9 bucks
On the 10th day of Christmas my mama said to me, 10 damn moochers
On the 11th day of Christmas my mama said to me, 11 days of prepping
On the 12th day of Christmas my mama said to me, 12 place settings




Merry Christmas to you all from Thee Kween. ~LOVE and PEACE~

Merry Christmas, Grandma





Hmmm…my 37th year was some kinda year. Who would’ve known that I’d leave it with a few less friends and an ex. Who would’ve known that I’d gain a few more friends who’ve been my Rocks of Gibraltar. Who would’ve known that I’d have less patience, less tolerance, more attitude…~sigh~ 


Who would’ve known that I’d leave with one less…grandmother.


My champion, my counselor, my Cancerian comedienne…someone I could go to and tell her the things that I felt silly saying to others.


I miss you, Grandma.


I miss your mischievous chuckle. Your sassy, no-nonsense wit, your loving ways, and that “knowing” that few others tap into. I miss hearing you call me “Baby Love”. I miss your need to see my wallet (because you never believed me when I said I had money, LOL). I miss how you’d feign disappointment when I took too long a break between phone calls. 


I’ll miss your yearly Christmas card…money or no money.


I remember the year you bought me an electric organ, on which I learned to play “Home on the Range” and “Silent Night”. No wonder I love the piano so much now…I should take lessons one day.


I remember how when Monifa and I were kids, you’d make SURE that daddy got us something nice or at least gave us money…no matter what else he did, you made him put us first. You’d hound him come Fridays so he’d remember my $20 allowance and Monifa’s $10…We secretly licked our tongues at him for it. LOL


I remember the last time you sent me money…I knew something was wrong. You needed Uncle Jerry’s home care aide to write my address down for you. I’ve never known you to need someone to write for you. That worried me. Then your voice with all of it’s life and the way you spoke as if you were smiling…gone…replaced with the frail echo of sickness…


Our last conversation…you promising me you’d go to the doctor, me afraid it was too late…


At least our last words were, “I love you”…and I do.


Merry Christmas, Grandma…


Always, Baby Love

The Heart of the Season

Not too long ago…a friend of mine said that more people killed themselves around the holidays than any other time of the year. She said it was because of the loneliness that is magnified in a season where the focus is on love of family and friends. I’d heard that statistic before…and I wonder if it just seems that way because loss of life this time of year is amplified. We went back and forth for a minute, but neither of us researched it…I guess neither of us wanted to REALLY know.

I don’t like to buy into the whole ideology of holidays. Call me Debbie Downer or a Party Pooper. Whatever floats your boat. I got ragged on recently for being the one who doesn’t think kids should be mindlessly misled into believing in Santa. Hell, ESPECIALLY in this time of economic struggle…I tend to believe it is of absolute importance that kids know EXACTLY where their gifts are coming from. They SHOULD know as early as it is possible for them to understand, how mom/dad/guardian…works their asses off all year to fulfill Christmas wishes. And people wonder why their kids don’t appreciate the value of a dollar or life’s gifts. *shrugging*

My mother didn’t tell me Santa was real. She told me straight up that it was she and my dad and other family members who CARED enough to see me smile…that purchased gifts for me. That went to the trouble of wrapping and hiding them…all to see me and my sister glow come Christmas morning. I was always grateful for the things under my tree…because I knew where they came from. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t feed our kids a little imagination and fairy tale. Within fairytales lie moral finishes and fuel for dreams…but, I just wonder how healthy it is to keep kids believing in Santa way into their preteens. Anyway…this isn’t about that. Forgive me…I digress.

What I’m saying is…that values, family time, love, generosity (as mentioned in a previous post during Thanksgiving) shouldn’t be allocated to the last two months of the year. ANY time I can gather and love my family is a good time. It’s a WONDERFUL thing.

I say this, because I feel that even those who understand the truest meaning of this “holiday”…still at times get sucked into the feeling of loneliness, despair and feelings of displacement…if they don’t have people around them to truly appreciate them and show them…I said, SHOW THEM…that they mean the world. I would hope that this Christmas, in remembering it’s origin and spiritual context…all of you (those celebrating religiously/commercially) would remember to make someone’s day. Shine their night…by bringing some joy. Invite someone or a small family who may not have much over for dinner. Or stop by bearing gifts of love and time. Call someone and say, “I love you” (and mean it). Think of how you would feel to be alone and uncared for…and act in accordance to what you would want in that position.

I’ll post a blog every month of this upcoming year dedicated to love if that’s what it takes to spread love around. If it reminds you to slow down your supposed “busy life” to tend to a broken, lonely or just beautiful heart…then so be it. 

God bless and Happy Holidays…see you after Christmas…perhaps after the New Year. I love you all!

Love,  

da Kween