13~ Agape Love

Kween of Love ūüôā

Do you believe in unconditional love?


Agape love…*notice how it’s the same word that means “open”*





the love of god or Christ for humankind.

the love of Christians for other persons, corresponding to the love of God for humankind.

unselfish love of one person for another without sexual implications; brotherly love.

so yea, I do.

Conditions are limitations. Once you start saying, “I love you, but…” or “I love them because…” you’re set up for failure. Folks used to ask me why I loved my ex. “What IS it about him, Kali?” I was asked on more than one occasion…and though I COULD have (and have) chosen a few reasons…the truth was, “I just do…”

No reason. No motive. No excuses. Sometimes you love someone just because. I love my friends and family. I love strangers in the street. I met an old lady in Dunkin Donuts today…and out of nowhere she and I began clicking. This little old, short white lady with tight gray curls…was so adorable to me. Perhaps the spirit of my grandma. Either way…I claimed her. She said she had grandkids my age (because I said I was OLD, LOL). I said as I patted her on the back, “I could use another grandma!” Well, she reached up and kissed my cheek and hugged me (which I believe I sorely needed). I was too giddy. Did it matter that she was a stranger? WHITE? …nope. I hearted her for that moment and I will have impressions of unconditional love on my heart from that moment in time…clearly, a sign of care from my angel…my grandma.

It’s hard to love at times when you yourself are in need of some loving care. You want people to reach out to you and behold you with all of the strength and fervor…all of the boundless intent…that you attempt to love others…but, then…that would be conditional. Loving in the HOPES that someone might love you back. I’d say it was a thankless job…but, then I’d be forgetting that God is VERY grateful that His Kali (child closest to God in Egyptian)…is reppin’ him like a G!

At times…I have to put down my armor and shield. My sword and fight. I am SO fiercely protective of people I love that I often forget that they have been given the same thing that I was given…volition. They will tumble and fall as I have…and with the help of people who love them such as myself, will get back up again. Sometimes, you have to put worldly limits on a universal¬†indefinableness…just to survive. Not that you’d be placing condition on YOUR love…just a limit to how far you’re willing to go to prove you love someone.

I’ve loved and still love every person who meant a thing to me…

“In distance, love exists…arms stretched past lines of unseen defense. In distance, love exists…powers engaged past forces of human frailty. In distance, love exists…in my prayers for you, even when I have nothing to gain but the feeling that I love you…in distance…with no condition”

~Thee Kween

Dearest Love…

Dear Love,

Thank you…

Thank you for loving me. I remember when we first met. When we fell for one another. I was a tender 4yr old and my first love was 7. He swept me off my feet in the middle of a Spiderman cartoon on a Saturday morning…I was smitten for years. Young love…literally.

What I love about you Love…is that even when others have tried to use what they think they know of you against me… (because they didn’t REALLY know you) …you never left me. You never let anyone make me feel like you’d abandoned me. With your strong embrace and tender whispers…I held fast for you…as I always will.

I realize now…that I saw you in every lover…because you were my own reflection. Every ounce of faith, hope,¬†trust, patience, desire…that I felt for them…was my own self. You came into me from my conception and¬†swirled up from the depths of me to become the smile I’m wearing right now. Free from the manacles of illusionary love, cloaked in lust, lies and fairy tales…I see so clearly how it was always you there for me when all else failed.

Love, my love…I am so utterly over the moon happy with what you’ve placed inside of me. It is something that no man, woman or even ME can take away. You are more than romance and courtship. More than first kisses and butterflies. More than¬†weddings and honeymoons. You are the forgiveness for failed relationships. You are the gentle remnants of affection for “love lost”. You are the spark of light threatening to be a supernova deep within those who love themselves and I…love me some me.

I also know…that one day, you’ll place someone in front of me who reflects what I embody. You’ll bring about a crashing wave of all that I imagined and more. Not in the fairy tale sense…but in the “oh snap this is REAL” sense. So, thank you, Love.

I love you.

~Da Kween~

Vending Machine

As usual, I came up with a blog concept while talking with a friend. She and I were talking about being perpetual givers. We spoke on unconditional love and its drawbacks.

Such as…you get taken for granted quite easily. See, if you tout that you’re the most unconditional-love-giving mofo around, people will begin to see that as a green light to neglect YOUR needs in return. I mean, why give someone love if they never seem to “need” it back? They’re a bottomless well, right? At least that’s what it seems to mean. The term or phrase of unconditional love basically means to give love without expectation of return or favor. Being that I am BIG on love…I try to live by this creed. I give people chances to be loved and to recognize at their own pace how to love me back. If they miss the memo…then I just forge forward, treating people as I normally do. I say, “I’m not responsible for someone else’s actions and reactions!” I govern myself based on my own conscience and capacity.

Yet that thinking tends to result in a pattern of neglect and loneliness. People are not machines. A person cannot continue to “vend” on someone else’s dime. No more than we should have expectations on the love we give, should one expect to receive it with a sense of entitlement. I mean…Who is there to replenish the “machine” when all the goods are gone? Can or better yet…WILL the people you love refill your well? Or maybe its quite possible that some individuals are indifferent to the love given to them…especially if they’re getting it from more than one source. Why should they care if you’ve exhausted your spiritual inventory?

Truth is, GOD replenishes. He refills you. However, even with God filling you back up…you are still human and flawed in that you eventually WILL want someone to return that love to you. It doesn’t make you any less a giver of love…just less of a machine.