Beauty

I see or hear the word beauty and I immediately think of the song by Dru Hill.  I also think of my friend who calls her closest girls that…but, what I think of when I see or hear the word…is how UN-beautiful a lot of beauty is.

Beauty’s standards are screwed up…we all know that. One of my girls and I were discussing the light-skin/dark-skin issue that a lot of us Black folks grow up with. Complexes of skin complexions…ridiculous. It’s sad to recount the obsessions that some of us had with either feeling not light enough or dark enough.

Then there’s those of us who either feel not tall enough or skinny enough or not big enough. Brown-eyed folks wanting to be blue-eyed…thin-haired folks wanting thicker hair.

“I wish I had long nails…”
“I wish I had perfect teeth…”
“I wish I had a booty…”
“I wish I had bigger breasts…”
“I wish I looked like her/him…”

Well, I wish we thought that we were beautiful as is. I wish that we thought fat thighs and nappy hair and short stature and uneven skin tones and big feet and thick noses…was beautiful.

I wish that we saw the world in it’s amazing proportions,  multi-hued humans, it’s crystal clear to midnight blue seas, epic mountains and volcanoes and dainty flowers and shrubs…

it’s heaviest animals to it’s almost-not-there insects, it’s musical sounds of nature, deafening sounds of war…and the eerie sound of “peace” in the aftermath…

If we could only see the beauty…in the differences and the trials and the triumphs and grasp the enormity of how blessed we are TO be ABLE to see at ALL is beautiful!

To be able to see in color…to bask in the gradient grays of a dark day and then see the rainbow on a bright one…is a gift from God.

I don’t wish to be thinner, have a booty, long straight hair, light eyes or even dimples (which I used to want as a kid)…as much as I wish to be able to see the beauty in life…every single day.

Ambition

Ambition…

Defined as an earnest desire for achievement or distinction.

Hmmm…Am I ambitious?

I’ve only desired [earnestly] to be a good person. To love from the depths of me. To give all I have for causes that keep me up late and wake me up early. “Ambition” is something that many take (in my opinion) …too seriously. Maybe it’s the artist in me who is more laid back and easy-going when speaking on goals and careers and such…but, I see folks go IN over their “grustle”. (That’s part GRIND-part HUSTLE). Some folks go so hard that they make those who aren’t as driven as they are feel like they’re somehow worthless if they’re not usurping EVERY part of the day with SOME small effort for productivity. I have one friend who is a “Jill of All Trades”…her repertoire expanding across the lines of clothing design, furniture design, photography, jewelry making, etc…I can’t even tell you all of the things she’s into. The thing is…she’s PASSIONATE about them all and though she has a sometimes unrealistic expectation on herself…it’s only because she lives and breathes her art. On the other hand, I’ve seen people aimlessly peddle items out of the lust of money and their obsession with wealth and not be passionate about a DAMN thing but the money they envision themselves making. That to me, is where ambition becomes confused with greed…wanderlust, even.

For me…ambition is the fuel in the car that drives the person to their dream destination. I long to be a published writer, an independent woman, a woman of virtue, substance and above all…a woman whose legacy is love. That means WAY more to me than filling my bank account with endless zeroes or celebrity.

As usual, I break words down. The prefix amb means to go…the root definition for -tion means, to express action; a state or associated meaning. Ambition in a nutshell…is the state of going…or better clarified, the state of going forward. To me, ambition is going forth on a path leading to a final place of accomplishment. The question is how does one define accomplishment. Success doesn’t have to mean a monetary sense of having…as much as a feeling of peace within that comes from touching lives in some way.

Yes…I have ambition. Do you?

Gotta A-Muse Myself…

I have been SO lackluster lately in the writing department…penning only a few poems sporadically, here and there. I don’t like it. I need to “exercise” my writing muskles (lol, my little cousin used to say that).  I don’t like when I go extended amounts of time with a motionless pen. The worse feeling for ME is having ideas and not being able to articulate them…

I think my biggest impediment is not ever wanting to be monotonous. I would hate to seem redundant. I would hate to seem redundant. LOL

SO…I’m imposing a challenge upon MYSELF. This is NOT a challenge where I’m inviting others to do it with me…but, if someone sees it and chooses to participate…so be it. I think the reason why I didn’t do to well at the photo challenge I was last seen fleeing away from, lol…is because it involved less writing and more photo taking. I couldn’t for the  world of me remember WHAT I was supposed to be taking a pic FOR…which would result in me trying to find something…ANYTHING to snap once I got home. ~sigh~

Anyway…THIS self-imposed challenge is right up my alley. I’m calling it my “30 Day A-Z Word Challenge”.  I’ve come up with 26 words that I have to blog about…leaving 4 extra slots. The list goes a little something like this…

Ambition
Beauty
Chance
Desire
Entity
Favorite
Generosity
Hate
Illusion
Jubilant
Kindred
Limitation
Music
Nucleus
Optimism
People
Questions
Revelation
Secrets
Triumph
Unique
Validation
Weakness
X factor *wild card word*
Youth
Zen

The last four words were fashioned out of the acronym for the word “word”.

Writing
Oxymoron
Rhythm
Dreams


Here I go…

11:08pm

I like this picture, because it is a collection of faces…that become Troy Davis.

Troy Davis…

Executed on the 21st day of September, 2011 at 11:08pm…in spite of overwhelming reason of doubt…the state of Georgia still rejected the stay of execution and took this man’s life.

Let me state here…this won’t be a blog full of legalese, dripping with political terms and agenda. There will be no recounting of the evidence or lack thereof throughout the trial. I’m not here to run down the precedents, the list of witnesses or even Troy’s background of criminal activity before his subsequent arrest for the murder of Officer McPhail.

What this is…is a woman trying to make sense of the senseless. Someone trying to remember that God’s will is by far vaster than anything we can dare conceive. How it is that a 16yr old, held and tried on flimsy evidence…and eventually…recanted stories…is sad.

Yes…

It could’ve been my cousin, my uncle, my dad, my friend…it could be them still. Yet, this isn’t about the many men who Troy symbolizes…or even the many women who have lost their sons to the system. It’s about a sleep-walking creature called Racism. I say sleep-walking, because it’s not sleep…and it’s not quite conscious. It’s alive. It’s breathing. It’s quite possibly…even infectious. It’s surely not dead. It did NOT die with MLK, Malcolm, Medgar, Marcus, Rosa anem. It wasn’t even remotely subdued by Huey, Angela, Bobby, Assata anem. Yet it’s not conscious anymore.

Systematic…when you have a way of doing stuff and you do it the same every time, kinda like how we hang the sheets and we hang them first so we can put the socks in the cracks…” ~ Nettie & Celie “The Color Purple”

^^^That…a “systematic” thing…so commonplace and banal in repetition…that eventually becomes subconscious. It is second nature to those who made the “ism” of racial inequality…their practice. What this looks like to me is a very loud and resounding cackle in the face of America’s people who thought that with the election of our first Black president, things would change. The hope was beautiful, the dream was glistening…bright like angel eyes…but, decidedly unrealistic. How it is that in the face of stories changed, reports of police coercion and others confessing…that they’d still take the life of a man, whose journey to injustice began as a child? I don’t know…seems like that beautiful dream died an egregious death.

What was beautiful…was seeing so many different colors blur and “become” Troy Davis. The petitions were passed around, the numbers posted were called…the pictures of him were posted for reminders of urgency…and no one cared what the person standing next to them looked like.

I just said to my sister on my Facebook status:

…it’s the epitome…the worst case scenario of how wrong it can go. You know how we speak of people who get away with things they do with evil intent…and others who just want to live in peace can’t find it…they get harassed, disregarded and oppressed by bad instances? This is that. This is a man who when this case begun was a tender teen…maybe not purely innocent, but a child nonetheless. He spent his entire adolescence damn near…fighting for his life. There has got to be a higher purpose for this. I’ve prayed and asked for God to give us all strength to be what we need to be and stand up in this with everything we are. Perhaps he was a beacon of light. Not quite angel, but more like vessel of purpose. Maybe his purpose was to show how we can all become a blurred audience of one…standing in love for a brother. Not a “brotha”…but our HUMAN brother. I don’t know. I’m still making sense of it.

That’s all I got…

Rest In Peace, Troy…I pray that your  life doesn’t go unaccounted for. I pray that your transcendence leads to a portal of light bright enough to shed light on injustice and blind the holder of those scales…for real.

My bro, Rippa posted this…I decided to post it here as well…

GGX Jewels! Inspire Your Inner Diva!

For five years PLUS, Gina Brotherton of GGX Jewels has been channeling her Inner Diva AND her muse. She’s been churning out some of the HOTTEST pieces of artistic jewelry and there is a VERY loyal following…but it’s not enough! I need for you fashionistas with a need for beads and thangs…to become more acquainted with her…

Today, I’m showcasing her talents in the hopes that women itching to spend on themselves or a friend…will run RIGHT over and be inspired. Her talent is phenomenal. Friends of ours tout how amazing it is to SEE her craft these babies by hand…I hope to see that one day, but until then…these following pieces are all of the absolute proof AND truth you need.

Genius at Work: Photo taken by Tracey Matthews

Here’s a little info on some of the materials Gina uses to create her pieces of art


Bangin’ Beauties – anodized aluminum wire, non-tarnish and lightweight (I can testify, I own a pair…pic below)

Wire-wrapped rings/earrings – non-tarnish SS over copper core with a baked on clear coat (hypo-allergenic); non-tarnish 10k gold-filled over copper core with a baked on clear coat (hypo-allergenic); Pure copper; .999 Fine silver/.925 Sterling Silver & 10k/14k gold by customer order only

Beads – various glass, ceramic, acrylic, resin and lamp-work pieces

She uses natural stones and semi-precious gemstones (turquoise, jasper, red coral, agate, etc.) …and she utilizes Austrian and Swarvoski crystals as well.

Her work is GORGEOUS. Below are a few of her pieces with the names and prices. She’s VERY reasonable and flexible on custom orders. YES…part of her allure is that she’s LISTENING to you. If you give her an idea…*inspire your inner diva*…she can create a one-of-a-kind piece that you’ll be proud to show off for years to come!

Me, Thee Kween flossing my B-fly Bangin’ Beauties!
These were a gift from her…and I LOVE them. I often have a hard time with having sensitive holes. A lot of earrings (a combo of metal and weight) irritate my ear lobes to swell. Not these. They’re so light…I often feel for them to make sure they’re there…lol. (can’t lose my GGX!!)

Wire-wrapped Swarovski crystal earrings in Sterling Silver
Price Point: $30

“Bangin’ Beauties” Multi-color/Multi-dimensional Hammered Aluminum Designs. Rings also available!
Price Point: $30-$35 (matching set)
Chunky & Funky: bold 3pc set. Chunky bracelet, blingy dangle earrings & a matching statement ring. KAPOW!
Price point: $40
“Bangin’ Beauties” Hoop’lah – Hammered Aluminum [hoop] Earrings
Price Point: $15
Button Rings!
Price point: $14-$24
“Bangin’ Beauties” Hammered Aluminum [abstract] Earrings
Price Point: $15

Now that you can SEE what’s offered (and there’s SO much more at the site)…you can understand how there is clearly something for EVERYONE. Take some time…visit the site. Peruse the galleries and then let your diva shine with some GGX. I’m telling you…from the product to the way it’s shipped…it’s a diva experience. Take it from a Kween 🙂

There’s a Customer Appreciation Sale going on right NOW!! >> CLICK HERE <<
Contact GGX Jewels:
Online Store: shop.ggxjewels.com
Email: theggxjewel@gmail.com

10 Signs You’re Cyber-Logged

There are very few people who AREN’T online. My grandma isn’t…but, my other grandmother was…so there’s a 50% chance your grandparents are online. lol

There are a few of my peeps who I WISH had a Facebook page…but, don’t. I don’t know why they didn’t get the memo, but perhaps they’re onto something. I wish sometimes that I didn’t crave the crack so much and had avoided the Facebook vortex.

Facebook/Internet addicts are true crackheads. I’m talking shakes, ashy lips and notions of stealing for their next hit. I ain’t saying I’m addicted…let’s just say that I exhibit some of the 10 symptoms of this “cyber-logged” list.

What is Cyber-Logged? Well it’s like water logged. Inundated to the point of complete saturation, leaving the frame of “something” weak and worn. This isn’t your TYPICAL list of crack symptoms. We all know what it means to be addicted to SOME part of the e-world. Most of us sleep with our cells in our hands. That vibration when the phone rings is like an e-gasm to most  folks. I just thought I’d share some of my current observations and list ’em.

10 Signs You’re Cyber-Logged aka Signs You Need to Have a Seat!

10. Refresh is your friend. Yea, buddy…you refresh every 4.3 seconds on Facebook, tumblr, etc…because you’re hungry for the next update. I see folks show up as SOON as I post. I be like…where in the MATRIX hell did they come from?

9. Your statuses/updates are successions of the same event. Let me give you an example:

“Oh snap, my fave movie is on!!” 19 minutes ago


“I love this part…it always makes me cry” 17 minutes ago


“Nooooo man…don’t leave her!” just now

…yea…how are we watching TV intently if we’re “statusing”? Why do we feel the need to pull our friends into the fray as well? Why ESPECIALLY do we do this…when watching WITH people? Are the people in the room NOT sufficient enough to discuss the movie/program with? *SMH*

8. You’ve got 50-11 pages for no reason. *raises hand* GUILTY! It’s not MY damn fault they make it so easy to create a new page. Or a blog. Or an email. Shit…at least I’m not creating whole LIVES like SOME folks…lmao

7. You e-stalk…Now, look. Let’s not get sensitive sir/ma’am! You do it or you’ve done it. ESPECIALLY if your siggy is online. “Oh what the fuck is all THAT about?”. Next thing you know you’re combing the person’s list, mutual friends, and eventually…you lay in wait to see what color Shug gone paint the wall next. *don’t deny it mofo…I seentcha*

6. Your browser has 10 tabs open with Facebook, tumblr, Youtube, Twitter, your blog,  your email, and a combo of news, shopping, and porn. *again…don’t lie dude* LOLOL

5. Your chat is open 24/7. Whether it’s your BBM, your LiveProfile, your YahooIM, etc…there’s a way for your friends to contact you at all times…and you RESPOND…sometimes…in your SLEEP!! Go to bed damnit. LOL

4. When your FB notifications pops up, you see it no matter what you’re doing in another tab. 0)___0)  *whistling*
4a. You answer those things with lightening speed…the hell you doing? Hitting refresh?

3. You’ve got some sort of insomnia related to your need to know what’s happening on your page. For me…I’ve got issues that directly relate to my muse’s inability to duly inspire at a NORMAL time of day. She wakes me up and as a sub-symptom of my wakefulness…I end up perusing the damnedest things while “breaking” from writing. I’ve discovered many an annoying, hurtful or informative thing while up at night writing. Sometimes…it’s A-OK to lie the fuck down…

2. You take pics of EVERYTHING and post it. Your new outfit. Hair. A pic of you taking a pic of you in the mirror so you can show your new phone. EVERYTHING you do gets chronicled in the “Mobile Uploads” album. I just ask that you save us from the pics of your cat vomiting, your kid pooping or your man/woman sleeping. Dang…can I have some mystery in the e-relationship?

MY #1 sign that YO/MY ass just MAY be cyber-logged? That when I post this blog in a few minutes (approx. 1:50-ish am)…You will see it, read it, pretend you have NONE of the above signs…but, comment anyway.

GO TO BED DAMNIT!!!! #notestoself

Shhhhhh…

Sometimes silence can be louder than words or actions. I normally am very interactive and communicative. Always willing to converse and at times debate [the right things]…I am often stared at with looks of confusion when I shut down and have little to nothing to say.

I don’t beg to be understood…understanding me comes with loving me…TRULY loving me. Most of my circle know without question that my silence doesn’t necessarily denote “sadness” as much as it does meditative thought. In this mode…I am on the precipice of inspiration to write. Or inspiration to decide. Or inspiration to evolve again…
Silence…so underrated a virtue…is a thing I need. There are so many “voices” that take up residence in me. The artist in me has different facets. I have my musical muse, my artistic muse (in the sketching, drawing, sense), my photographic muse, my poetic muse…::sigh::…they all come and speak to me. Some things drawn from dreams, some come mid-sentence like a flash, some come in the middle of having nothing on my mind at all. Either way…I’m constantly listening to the muses. I am also listening to the mother in me, the friend, the woman, the daughter, etc. So…beside the artistry that moves through me in ripples, waves and tides…I am also channeling the lives and happenings of my friends and family…not to mention random thoughts that strike like lightening.
With a mind that ticks constantly…to the degree that I often go (surprisingly enough for a Narcoleptic) without much sleep…I am normally as exhausted as I am full of thoughts. Imagine having a plethora of ideas and no energy to execute them. If I get a nap in the daytime (about 2hrs worth) and turn around and sleep 2hrs at night…I’m good. I am not new to lying with my eyes open in the dark, watching the shadows of the fan’s blades create a smokey blur. I have as of late…fallen asleep an hour or more BEFORE I’m slated to wake up for work.
So, I figured…that with all that is ALREADY the whimsical, eclectic, mad workshop of my mind…I deserved a little quieting. I don’t know how many of you understand the mind of an artist/above average mind. (I tip-toe around calling myself ‘genius’…sounds cocky to me)…but there is at times little to no mental rest. Even my dreams are unnaturally sharp and ridiculous. “Seeing” shit all day…catching the nuances in human behavior, drawing people’s emotions like a human soul magnet is depleting and exhausting. Working at a job where people are equally troubled to tears and angry to shouting…doesn’t help matters much.
Silence is prescribed…especially, when your words aren’t enough to say what you’re feeling or thinking. Rather than be misunderstood…I sit in silence…until the articulation returns. Bear with me…
He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” ~Elbert Hubbard

Challenged

OVER IT!!
I think I did too many challenges back to back…

I left this last challenge (The Photo Challenge) in the dust like an abandoned child. I ALSO had a hard time remembering to TAKE the damn pictures everyday…and when I DID remember, I found nothing to snap pics of. It’s kinda hard to do that when you’re not walking to and fro. I used to and I’ve gotta get back to that, but between one of the worst winters AND summers we’ve seen in a while…it wasn’t fit for a dog or squirrel to walk out there. I did have my days that I just said “EFF it…” and walked but for the most part…it wasn’t happening.

I apologize for the BIG pause though. I had been on a roll for a few months…posting daily in one way or another and now it’s been this long ass hiatus (unannounced, no less) and I feel like I’ve let down my readers. God bless those who managed to stick to their challenges. You can check the side bar for “Dem Challenge Takers” for the ladies who’d been participating in several challenges. I’ve gotta make my rounds and be supportive…

Honestly,

I ain’t gave a damn in a while. I’ve been “living”. Enjoying family and friends…because guess what? ::inserting cliche::

Life is too short!

I’ve got family and friends who are suffering from a disease or disorder of some kind and have been sending up prayers nightly for those whose stories of affliction sit heavily on my chest. I’ve had sleepless nights for nothing more than a worry or concern of what they’re doing…HOW they’re doing. So, no…this challenge hopped, skipped and jumped WAY over my head.

I’ll tell ya what. If by some off beat chance…I take a pic that fits the bill, I will slowly but surely finish this challenge. BEAR with me, my people.

In the meantime…I’m prepping for this weekend. Gonna finally get to meet yet ANOTHER SiStar of mine…Ms. Maria. I’m very excited and therefore you MAY get a blog w/pics for this occasion.

Deep Peace and Kweenly Love unto you!

Looking Asses

I am taken aback…

That folks in their 30’s and 40’s are still playing mind games. That women who are grown and have children or just are GROWN…still pursue men on and offline like a cat in heat. That men who define themselves by the length of their dick, still act like children with no aim. I on the other hand…just wanna be at peace, live, laugh, love and learn. That’s it. Keep the rest.

Let me tell you…2011 is NOT the year to fuck with me. I’m not lying down for ANY bullshit. I WILL step and I WILL blast you! So many times before, I let etiquette and decorum dictate my steps. I’m over it. I’m STILL a lady…STILL a kween, but even a kween has to exact some action when fools start trying to infiltrate her peace of mind.

I had a convo with a dear sister friend and I was once again reminded how the lies of a MAN had tainted my online reputation. A site we used to be on had me looking like some desperate bitch who needed to be loved and wanted to be just like some other woman! WOW. I’m glad that I know who I am and I’m BLESSED that I have real friends who know better. I don’t sweat the small stuff usually, but this bit me on the ass in a hard way. I don’t feel that, believing in someone is desperate…it’s called LOVE you assholes!! Trusting your friends to keep your confidence isn’t VIOLATING or BETRAYING someone else…or being catty or being a bitch. If I’m talking to someone I call a FRIEND and they runteldat…that’s not MY fault…it’s Mouth Almighty’s fault. Contrary to the rumors and lies of little people with little else to do than discuss me…I don’t thrive off drama. Drama makes the underside of my breasts itch…keep that shit. One thing is for sure…if you wanna know if I said some shit…ASK…I PROMISE I’ll tell you if I did or didn’t, but if you’ve made up your mind already that I’m some petty bitch…then stay over ——>THERE!!

Anyway, I find that some of the same people who were in my circle then made it over to Facebook with me and honestly…I know there is this dark cloud that follows me. The only way for the myth to be dispelled is for folks to be enough of an independent thinker to say, “Hmm, I wanna get to KNOW her…”. Otherwise, it’s like a red letter sloppily stitched onto my chest. Truth is, EVERY guy online who I’ve ever been “involved” with…pursued me. They had to CONVINCE me that they really were interested and wore me down after months of convo. I’ve never…EVER seen one dude and been like, “Let me roll up on that.” Nope. I mind my business…and then because these men on the Internet have a gang of stans…I end up the bane of some bitch’s existence because she thinks I’m a threat. One thing I’ve NEVER done is befriend someone so I can see how close they are to my love interest. If you’re still doing that in 2011…

GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!

I ain’t ask dude to holla…
I ain’t ask dude to rope YOU in…
I ain’t ask dude to lie to you…
I ain’t ask for none of it!

Take your LOOKING ASS…and SAT down! Leave me alone. You REALLY won’t like me if I gotta tell your ass that shit again!