Greetings boos!

I come bearing the gift of inspiration…Lord knows “I” need it. I’ve been immersed in the graphics and designing aspect of my craft, leaving little room for my Literary Muse to perch anywhere near me. She’s seething about it, too. lol

See, what had happened was…my girl Mahogany Dymond (my Tracy) asked me to get another challenge together. Something using words. Cool, I GOTCHU Mah!! I GOTCHU!!

The “30 Days of Word Association Challenge” will commence on the first of October. (The same month as National Blog Post a Month Challenge; which I’m simply giving a more FOCUSED name to).

We’ve held several challenges around here, for those not familiar:

(Beware on that last one…you might not be ready for that kinda truth from me and my girls. lol)

Either way, we pride ourselves on trying to do something different using writing as a vehicle. This time the challenge is centered around word association. I will post the rules on the first of October so that we can get it started. THIS IS A WARNING SHOT! This is basically a call to duty! lol

This gives participants a chance to mentally prepare for the upcoming challenge and also time to invite other bloggers along for the ride. We’re a community, so we do our best to SUPPORT each other’s daily efforts. We’re each other’s checks and balances. If you think for ONE moment you can’t do it for lack of time, energy or interest…don’t even bother. YET, if you need a fire under your ass to exercise your writing chops…we’re your crew! 😉

In the meantime…check out the other challenges and see what we’re made of. “Dem Challenge Takers” are on the side of the blog entries on this page. ENJOY!!

See you in October!!! 😀

30~ I Learned Love

Did this love challenge teach you anything? If so/not…what/why?

Of course it did. I learned a lot. About myself…about the fellow challengers.

I learned a lot about the love I THOUGHT I had and the love I didn’t realize I had. I learned how perception is a MUG and how often while IN it…we don’t always see it.

I’ve learned that just when you think you’ve gotten over things, memories of pain can pull you back as if things happened in that second. I also learned that the things I thought I’d never get over have washed away with time, understanding and self-love.

I’ve learned that my girls are SO fuckin’ cool. I have a list of chicks who were SO supportive during this challenge. Throwing up my blog’s URL every chance they got…speaking of me in a beautiful light and MEANING it. We banded together and helped each other through each question. Some of us had a harder journey than the others, but we ALL were in each other’s comment sections applauding, cheering, giving e-hugs and love to support through the epiphanies, the inspirations, the beautiful moments, the relived struggles and the moments that some wanted to throw in the towel.

All I have learned is love and more love. Tolerance. Clarity. Retrospection. Forgiveness. Understanding. Reconciliation. Pleasure. Happiness. Peace…peace and love.

Again, thanks to all those who participated, read and commented.

I love you…

I really do…


We’re almost finished this challenge. A lot of us are on our last day…a few still struggling down the middle (mostly due to unforeseen issues) and the rest are on the heels of myself and a few others.

I just want to say THANK YOU!!! Thank you all who have participated and those who have taken the time to read and take a piece of us with you. I don’t know one person involved in this challenge that didn’t get in and roll their sleeves up. Some of you shocked me with your honesty…some of you showed me a more tender side to you. All in all…I had a wonderful time with this cathartic exercise in Love & Truth.

I got beat up a little…some inboxes, trips to my Facebook wall…even a few shout outs mid-blog. Folks was hunting me down at times wanting to know, “What in the hell is up with these questions, Kali?” …Not so much because they weren’t “good” questions but because they were the kind that made people dig up the past and come face to face with a few things they may have thought they were over. Hell, even I was feeling some kinda way about the questions. I didn’t figure into account while posing them that I’d be answering as well. I could’ve kicked my OWN ass a few times. LOL

I hope that you all received the heart of this challenge. It was made to give us a glimpse into our past and present while giving us a cleaner slate for the future.

Again…THANK you dear loves…

Leelee, you went hard. I saw things in your blog that broke my heart for you. Your utter honesty about YOU and how you see yourself was refreshing and fearless at the same time. I genuinely had to ask myself at one point was I…the creator of this damn challenge, being nearly as candid as you were. KUDOS and hats off to you, sis.

Maria, I remember you wanted to do this challenge when I mentioned it…you were pretty excited. Well, now…you pretty much tell me everyday how you can’t wait for this shit to be over. LMAO Nonetheless…I applaud your commitment. You didn’t give up and I’m so very proud of you.

Budda, You brought it girl…but, then I knew you would. Raw, to the point, and willing to look within. I enjoyed your blogs and I’m sure that if/when we pull another challenge out the air…you’ll join and bring it all over again. ((HUGS))

Tina, I know this challenge got a little rough for you, too. I pray that being able to say certain things made things a little easier…even if only in retrospect. I appreciate you so much…I love when people push themselves emotionally to get to a point past fear. Sometimes THAT is the only reward…that you did it when you didn’t think you could. 😀

Gina, you jumped in at the last minute and took off out the gate like a prize greyhound. LOL You were blogging your little heart out. Love it…still have to catch up…give mama a minute. LMAO

Monica…you too, jumped in like a woman trying to swim her way to shore. Your offerings were nothing less than full on memoir quality. This challenge was made for people like you…those seeking to reconcile their memories and pain with who they are today. I’d say you’ve got a pretty good hold on who you are. Stay creative and thank you for showing love to everyone involved.

Mahogany…my Bookie. 😀 Of course I expected NOTHING less from you than the raw, unabridged, unadulterated truth. You’re always bare to your readers so I’m always proud to have you on the blog roll. LOVE you, Ladybug

Joy, I know you’re catching up to yours AND my challenge. A lot has jumped off since we started the erotica challenge almost 2 months ago. I’m still proud that even if only in drips…you continue trying to finish. Whether you do or not…I’m sure you’re on your way to a wonderful new place of peace and love. (((HUGS)))

Kena, I know you barely got through yours, but I still appreciate the effort. Hopefully next time you will make it to the 30th day 😀 lol

Dee, I made you last…because you were the inspiration behind this challenge. When ending the erotic one, you mentioned needing a reason to write because having to write everyday helped you a lot. As soon as you said that this challenge popped into my mind. Thanks for the inspiration, the support and the honesty. You were NO slouch in the “tell-all” department. You gave all you had and shared things that I know where hard for you, especially since they were on the surface at the time. Thank you sis…LOVE you oodles!

These ladies are writing BESIDES their part in my challenge. Their links are on the side under “Dem Challenge Takers” so please hit them up and see what they’re giving us. They all are different, yet entertaining, educational and crazy as all get out. LOL Show them some love please…

**Almost home**


29~ Dear Forever…

Write a Love letter to your soul mate (whether you feel you’ve met them or not)

This challenge is coming to a close. A lot of my challengers are going to take a huge sigh of relief. I got spoken of a LOT in this challenge by my girls…my name became a cuss word! “That Kali!” or “That Kiwi!” LOL

I’m “cheating”…because I wrote this a while ago and then edited it for publishing on my Words on Wings site. I still want some of the same things…and though I’m sure there are some other things I could add…I’m going to save that for the future “him” to fill in.

sweetest love,

i think of you all the time. when i see lovers, i see us. when i see babies…i see ours. i think of the man who won’t ever need prompting to love me. the man who will never need to be reminded that i am his and he, mine. we will love, laugh, live, teach, learn, cry, sleep, dream, be…in tandem. no “mine” or “yours” just OUR…us…we…mr. and mrs. wonderful 😉

i know that you will understand my most sensitive needs…and never make me feel criminal for being so. i know you will remember all of the things i tell you…and present them to me in surprises. i know you will feel my heart beating…even when we’re in separate spaces. i know you will sense my despair…and throw on your lover’s cape, swoop in…and love me back to my glory. you’ll never see my weaknesses as weaknesses…just moments where a little more lovin’ is required. you’ll know, like i know…that there is never a moment when we no longer need to “prove” our love to each other…because the desire to show love will be a joy. you will know me…like no other.

for all that you are to me…i will be to you what shine is to sun. you will have a rib AND a spine in me. your dreams will be as important to me as they are to you…because i’ll know that when YOU’RE happy…so am i. you will know that, even though i CAN assemble a piece of furniture…i’ll let you get bragging rights *lol*. i will give you all of me…knowing that you’ll relish in the ownership. i’ll be letting all within sniffing range know…who daddy is. in turn…i will never have to be concerned about others…for my name is written in flames of love afire…right across your being. a picture of you and i will be a prized possession of yours. just as well…the love planted deeply inside of me will be as obvious as 9 months of pregnancy.

give me you and i’ll give you me…i want the good, bad, ugly, indifferent, the shit and the blossoms. i want to be your BEST friend. don’t hide from me. lay naked for me, trusting me with your vulnerability. we’ll be enough for each other…needing no one else to confide in or lean on. let’s be a force. a power of love unparalleled. let’s be…the couple lovers love and haters hate. let’s be the ones that bring love back…fuck sexy (even though we’ll make that over, too)

um, i snore…i can be a tad OCD. i like cuddling, but i need my space. i love the food network (let’s get 2 tv’s), i want a cat named Wasabi (don’t forget to bring home the allergy meds). i’m not “scared” of spiders…but they unnerve me. i AM scared of snakes (not yours, lol). i’m silly as FUCK…but, you’ll love it. i’m a word whore…so be prepared to play scrabble…and get pummeled. hehe. i need sheets over me…even in the hot ass summer…so no blanket hogging. i like to kiss your chin, so don’t deny me…i AM gonna eat your neck. i will enjoy just you sitting between my legs as i “sky write” across your back.

i want to go places, experience things, places…life…with you. show me what i’ve never seen…teach me what i didn’t know i needed to know. teach me you…let’s love, baby. always…

love, the pet name only you call me 🙂

28~ Heart Over Heat?

If you had a choice between a love relationship and just sex [guaranteed]…which would you choose?

Right now, I don’t know…

I really don’t. I’m at a point in my life where I’d just kill (not literally) to have my carnal desires fulfilled and left alone. I ain’t in the mood to have someone demanding of me a return of my affections all for them to get what they need and leave me wanting. It’s a cynical way to view it, but it’s been my experience the last few times I’ve been in a romantic entanglement.

What I miss about being “in love” is very simple. I miss the spooning at night, the tender kisses and the feeling of someone being concerned for me…needing to make sure I’m okay. I miss those things immensely…

Yet, I at times just need to be stroked right and put to sleep. Give me a kiss and go.

I’m torn. I am. The heart of me…the believer in love and relationships wants to be wrapped up and embraced daily by the nuances of love. I want to have breakfast with someone, plan a day of leisure, lie back in someone’s arms and nap, read together…just BE together…even if we’re just doing separate things in the same room…

The scorned part of me, just wants to be pleasured and have some go-to penile cord and that’s it! Just get sexed down and then be free to go on about my business without the tethers of love’s responsibility.

I think that a loveless sexual relationship with someone is lonely.  With all of my need to be in control of blocking painful situations…so I won’t end up alone nursing a broken heart, still garners loneliness. Once that person leaves and goes home…there is still no one to care. No one to whisper security into your soul…and that’s something I can’t quite get past.

I don’t know…maybe for now…I’ll just take the sex and reserve the right to change my mind at a later date. LOL

27~ Ease On Down The Road

Does anyone you’ve broken up with still love and pursue you?

Nope…they done eased on down the road!

“Don’t you carry nothing that might…be a load…ease on down, ease on down the road!”

No one’s tried…and it’s best that way.

How short and sweet is that?

Oh well, *shuffling w/Michael and Diana*

26~ May~December

If your young daughter or son came to you and told you they were in love with someone your age…what would your response be?

I don’t have children…

I’ve been here before though. 18 years ago I brought home a man 22yrs my senior. My family was ROCKED…livid is not enough description.

My uncle had hung with him, my mom and dad knew of his ways from “way back”…he was considered a pimp in his day and had been abusive to many a woman. I remember my mother saying to me, “He’s going to have you on the street…pimping you.”

I didn’t sense that about him. I didn’t know much about him, but I didn’t get that feeling. Well, the story goes that eventually he did turn abusive. Physically…then mentally/verbally/emotionally. That physical shit didn’t sit well with me…I used all this fluff to make sure he didn’t get the best of me. LOL I’m not saying that life with him wasn’t hard…but, this is the same person who for 8.5 years pimped his OWN physical self by getting up almost everyday of our life together and working. He put money in my hand and the checkbook to pay the bills, too. Had it not been for his addiction…who knows…we might still be together.

If MY godson (that’s as close a kid is gonna get to me) came home with a cougar…I’d embrace her. I’d let her know…”Don’t make me fuck you up…” O__o

No, for serious…lol, I’d just talk to him and see where his head was. The worst thing you can tell ANY one, child, teen or adult…is who to love. That never goes well.

25~ Smiling Through The Lessons

Looking back on your life…who taught you the most about what love is/isn’t?

Wow…again, where did I get these effin questions? I was truly on a roll with my curiosity. ~sigh~

I’ve learned what love IS from some of the same people I’ve learned what love isn’t! Growing up around my maternal family vs. my paternal family was an extreme in concepts of how you raise, discipline and love. My moms family believed in spankings, lectures and punishments. My dad’s family believed in love and support, soft reprimanding and lots of hugs. Interesting thing is…my mom’s siblings are mostly married with children who’ve either gone onto college or maintain jobs and take care of their children. My father and his sibling were both subsequently exposed to addictions to alcohol and drugs. There were at times domestic violence where they (siblings) fought and at times became belligerent toward my grandmother (RIP).  I suppose the conclusive argument would be that my mom’s family and their stern hand approach, produced more fruit than the other side’s lenient lifestyle garnered.

My maternal grandmother wasn’t and isn’t particularly emotional…and wasn’t big on “I love you’s”. She was quick to call you “no good” the moment you messed up and at times could be unduly harsh. I still love her though, because I realized as an adult that you do what you know. My paternal grandmother was more praiseful and encouraging. She told me she loved me every time we parted or ended a call. She preferred “see you later” over “goodbye” because she hoped to see you or hear from you again. While learning two different types of love…tough love and appeasing love…I would like to think I’ve become a happy medium of the two.

I also learned a lot from my ex, Ali. He taught me that love isn’t always romantic affection. He taught me that love is responsibility, provision and protection. He knew he’d taken on the responsibility of caring for me and that my parents were looking to him to prove that he wasn’t the older man taking advantage of their young tender and inexperienced daughter. He worked almost every day of our relationship, give or take a moment or two between jobs. In 8.5 years…we only reached our hand out twice for help. In the beginning…and in the end. Ultimately, God had other plans for us both and no matter how much  he wanted to maintain us…our situation gave way to us being parted. Through the emotional and sometimes physical abuse…I can say that he tried his hardest to make a home with me. He just couldn’t shake his own demons of addiction. I did learn how one loves another enough to take care of them…I’ll never take that away from him.

I learned from my other ex, Jamie…that love isn’t lies and subterfuge. Vulnerability is a key component to being free enough with someone to be yourself in a relationship. A love relationship is supposed to make you feel like you can do anything because of the person by your side. You should never feel the need to mask yourself or put on airs about who you are. He would probably say he didn’t lie. He’d protest that I was wrong and that he was honest and forthcoming about everything…and he’d be lying. I pray that one day his lesson is learned and that it isn’t learned in the worst way possible. Some people don’t take kindly to being fucked over and made a fool of. Some folks ain’t wrapped tightly and will react in a deliberate and sometimes final way. Not saying I’d ever do that, but everyone ain’t me. He also taught me to love people through their shit. He was at times a little snobbish when it came to situations I discussed with him. I looked up one day and realized that my then “baby” could be a complete asshole…and I loved him anyway. lol

I’ve learned love is and isn’t what you’re willing to do and not do. Tolerate and not tolerate. Your foundation has to be Rock of Gibraltar strong…something like a force to be reckoned with. You can’t waver and ask for consistency. You can’t be unsure and ask for certainty. You can’t ask for qualities you don’t possess.  Whatever it is you desire or look for in love…you should be an infinite pool of love reflecting it back to the world. Also, you shouldn’t just reflect the surface. Don’t be muddied and thick. I pray that the love I’ve learned will cause me to be a still pool mirroring back love…yet being clear enough to see your way to my depths. No one likes jumping in and miscalculating the depth, the temperature, or what’s underneath.

I’ve learned a lot…but, I’m sure I’m learning more.

24~ I Apologize

Have you broken anyone’s heart?

I don’t know. I really don’t. I’ve always been on the receiving end of bullshit. I didn’t take time out in my busy moments of dusting off the fuckas of past to see if someone’s heart got broken by me.

Anything is possible. Someone is probably swearing I did that shit to them. If so, I apologize. I go into each situation with an open heart and honesty. If I don’t like/love you…I don’t waste my time or yours. I don’t tell folks I love them and then go tell the next person that’s it’s all about them. I get no pleasures in gaming with folks’ hearts and lives.

Having said that…it’s quite possible that IN my honesty of, “No, I don’t see you that way…” that someone’s feelings could’ve gotten hurt. I think hurt feelings are a world away from a broken heart, but I can’t determine the scope of someone else’s disappointment, either.

To end this…I’ll post my FAVORITE song for this kind of occasion. I heard it some months back and it’s been in heavy rotation since.

“Message To You” by Claudette Ortiz…if I’ve every hurt you or broken your heart, I apologize…

23~ Doves Disparaged

Some of these questions, MAN…smh

…what? It rhymed!

Do you think love and marriage are synonymous? ((Was I sipping pineapple rum while penning these questions?))


Love can LEAD to marriage. INSIDE of marriage the two should become synonymous. Wherever love is placed, that relationship should become enmeshed in the word love.

Marriage is a tricky thing to discuss nowadays. Honestly, I don’t know why I brought this shit up. Perhaps today isn’t the day for me to be expounding on such things in my current state of IDGAF. Yet, I’m already 2 blogs behind in this challenge due to my attitude and need to be an example…or WANTS to be an example for the challengers…especially those who may be struggling with certain questions.

So, yes. I think I answered that. I ain’t sticking around here too long. INSIDE of marriage the two should “marry” and encompass all of those things resident in love…but LOVE stands on it’s own. It would be the arms of God wrapped around the world…if there were a physical way to describe it.

So there ya have it…