this is a freestyled song. a little thing that few know about me, is that I hear music all day in my head. some songs are from singers and soundtracks…and some come from my own heart and humming. I make up songs in my head daily. don’t try to imagine the melody…it floats away after I’ve hummed it anyway. I’ll do one verse and a chorus. 🙂
i’ve seen you
in MY dreams
floating close…walking by my side
you save me
and it seems
your love is made for mine
but when I wake…
your gone again
my heart shakes
from the dream’s end
i try to
bring you back to me
but NOTHING…NOTHING ever does
lay down to sleep
my prince of dreams
my loving heart
to kiss me gently
how do i start
…and there is a song that came to me in seconds. all I need is the ability to play instruments, a studio and a lack of phobia for public performing. LOL
On the 1st day of Christmas my mama said to me…and don’t you burn my meeeeat!
On the 2nd day of Christmas my mama said to me, Make 2 batches
On the 3rd day of Christmas my mama said to me, Fry 3 chickens
On the 4th day of Christmas my mama said to me, Make 4 more servings
On the 5th day of Christmas my mama said to me, FIIIIIVE CHICKEN WIIIINGS!
On the 6th day of Christmas my mama said to me, Use 6 spices
On the 7th day of Christmas my mama said to me, Give it 7 minutes
On the 8th day of Christmas my mama said to me, Dinner is at 8
On the 9th day of Christmas my mama said to me, 9lbs for 9 bucks
On the 10th day of Christmas my mama said to me, 10 damn moochers
On the 11th day of Christmas my mama said to me, 11 days of prepping
On the 12th day of Christmas my mama said to me, 12 place settings
Merry Christmas to you all from Thee Kween. ~LOVE and PEACE~
Well, as I’d written in a previous blog…I lost my paternal grandmother. This blog…I guess, is just a way to say, “I’m okay” and touch base with you all.
This song, debuted itself the night my grandmother died and I tell you…everytime I hear it I am crying by song’s end. Honestly…it’s one of the best songs I’ve heard Fantasia sing. She usually screams through songs…so this softly sung ballad is a refreshing joy.
“First step, take a deep breath…you don’t need a reason why. You can (You can) take, take time…you can (you can) walk…run…dive.”
I’m stepping back into life gingerly. Going to work and functioning. Talking and laughing with people, at shows, singing and smiling with music. Trying to find my way back to poetry and writing. What I DO regret (now that I think of it) is not allowing my grandmother to see the poetic part of me. It never dawned on me to show her. I wasn’t hiding it or anything…but, I never brought that stuff up. We’d talk and laugh and swap stories when I called her…but, I don’t think we ever discussed my love of writing. I hope she can see it now.
The wake and funeral services were beautiful. People of course said beautiful things…but they also said REAL things. Some called my grandmother “bossy” *giggling*…and that she COULD be. Some referred to her as the Queen…which I never knew. Funny that is what people call me now. Her love of her family and community was honored…especially the way she treated everyone like they were important. She’d make you feel so special. Never would she even outwardly display a dislike for you…even if she didn’t. She still showed you respect and concern…she just kept her eye on you. LOL
There was a gathering of a medley of people who loved her. So many felt our loss. I mean, the pastor of the church, rented out the first floor of our family house. After attending church became difficult (because of my great uncle’s care)…her pastor would come upstairs from his own apartment and have private bible studies with her. How special WAS she? *beaming*
Anyway…thanks, Fantasia. There’s a song that evokes the deepest of emotions about my grandmother. From now on…it’ll serve as a trigger to my memories (as if I really need one)…yet, it will bring about a positive sense of coping that I need to get through.