As I am about to do my hair…I thought back to a few things I’ve seen posted here and there and I gotta say…
I am SO sick of hair snobs. I don’t care if you’re hair is the nappiest kink, an extreme coil, a silky wave or a naturally thin straight. I don’t care if you “found” yourself one year and decided that you were tired of wearing the white woman’s crown. I don’t care if you grew up with a hair complex and think that long straight hair is the most beautiful hair. I don’t care if you’re weave-licious but wear your hair natural underneath. Do you see where I’m going? I hope so…because AGAIN…black people have found a reason to continuously separate themselves from each other. This is NOT a Spike Lee joint. This is life…and life is about appreciating our differences and various physicality. The slave mentality is NOT the desire to look white…it’s the lack of desire to embrace each OTHER. It’s the ignorance that comes with our own inner caste system which divides us from the top of our heads to the souls of our feat. The mentality begins and ends with blurred lines of self-inflicted alienation from our brethren.
I admit…I’m lazy when it comes to my hair. I hate washing my hair. I hate DOING my hair. I WILL whip it into something nice on the way out the door…but, I’m a pony tail girl any other day of the week. I once went 7 years without a perm. My hair grew like a weed on speed. I washed it, oiled it, braided it, etc…and you know what was so funny? People STILL thought my hair was a weave. Finally after years of going natural and not REALLY knowing what to do with it…I went back to the fried, dyed and laid to the side look. One chick ran her fingers through my scalp in search of tracks. *smh* I didn’t do it because I hated my natural hair. For me it was ease. I didn’t have to do crap to it but wash it and slick it back. Does that make me less than a REAL black woman…ABSOLUTELY not. Do I have a warped sense of self? NO ma’am/sir. Do I not own my “blackness”? (whatever the hell that is). Do I not still walk with kween swagger? Bitch.Boo.Bye! Check it. My hair is beautiful…in it’s natural state AND it’s “processed” state. Why? Because it is MINE…and it is a part of ME. I am not my hair, as India.Arie said. I am not my “lighter shade of skin”…I am not my “fluffy” frame…I am not my “geek status”…I am not the cheeseburgers I love…I am not my clothes, residence, or the friends I choose. I am a stand out, unequivocally GRAND design of God’s. I won’t let someone who chooses to relish in their kink, tell me that because I DON’T…somehow I’m stuck in a white woman’s world. With all of the amalgamations of genes in this world…how is anyone to define what “black hair” should look like. I know chicks who have natural hair and STILL rock wigs and weaves. No offense NOR judgment to those sistas…but, like me…they sometimes lean towards ease and variety. Is EVERY sista who wears her hair natural, confident? NOPE…because going natural doesn’t equate to cultural pride. It doesn’t mean that every insecure thought goes away. It doesn’t mean that she stops hating what she sees in the mirror…anymore than having a perm means you’re an oreo. I have friends who are natural and love it. I have FAB girls who go from the stunning shaved Ms. Tracey…to the newly natural, Dee…to Nya Papaya’s (Melissa) natural waves…and my loc’d sista Mahogany. They are as different as their choice of hair style.
Is beauty in this country warped? HELL YEA…there are barriers of beauty that are still stigmatized and perpetuated. From body shapes, to facial feature, to hair texture, to geographical origin, to height and on and on. Do they need to be debunked and put to bed? OF COURSE!! What will it take? How about start with living your own life…being at peace with who you are first…and instead of ridiculing, dismissing and harboring snobbish judgments…accept folk for who they are. If I wanna relax my hair, eat a burger and drink a Pepsi. So BE it…because I DAMN sure wont be trying to convince you to process your fro, give up tofu and wheat shakes in order to validate my own beliefs. Hell, I AM tryna put the burger down. My ass is thicker than a Frosty…lol. Yet…Between all the differences we encompass and the attitude of self-righteousness…our people are going to remain on the slow climb to unity. All because instead of worrying about my mind state…you’re concerned with my hair. Treat the mind set first…and then work on the hair, because lack of perm just means you’re nappy…not necessarily happy.
Shit…I’m tender-headed ANY damn way. And I’m TIDE!
Shout-outs to my natural beauties…Almondie, B-Cup, Blossom, Yesha, Letrice, Sun Ree, Twin, Aly Boo, Cousins Shelley & SheRah/Megan & Kaitlyn, Starrdusstt, Sonja…and my mommy! 🙂