The Isle of Man

Are you self-sufficient? I don’t mean, do you hold a job, pay bills and provide for yourself and quite possibly others. I mean, are you all encompassing of what it is that it takes to live a FULL life. Do you not need a soul? Even if you did indeed provide for yourself by procuring and maintaining a source of income…do you still not need others? Who do you work for? Who works for YOU? Who consumes your product and supports your business?

Are you a doctor? Can you heal thyself? Do you have the capacity to diagnose and treat yourself? Do you raise your own food? Can you build your own vehicle? Gas it? Fix it? Did you birth yourself? If you did indeed find a way to live somewhere…where you could farm, didn’t need money or assistance in sheltering yourself…and could indeed make a coat from bear skin (assuming you survive the skinning)…what’s it worth?

I ask these questions…because I feel like we’re living in THE most selfish times of this era. I see more and more every day how people take for granted their family and friends and community. I see how people act as if the world around them is insignificant…like their world is the only thing of importance. People disregard each other so blatantly that it scares me to see humans losing their humanity. I often blame it on the heaviness placed upon possessions and status. The easy access of the Internet and it’s benefits. The way people see the rich displayed and cavorting across their screens on a regular basis. The self-entitlement. The elite life…glorified beyond family values and basic decency to each other. “The Microwave Society”…*ding* pick it up! Instant life! Instance success and notoriety. More now than ever I see how people make a small appearance on a reality show or something like it…and become celebrities. All for doing nothing more than standing there when the camera was rolling. Where they do that at?

What ever happen to treating people with kindness? The way we want to be treated? How about the whole “golden rule”? Where are those family traditions? Where is that village? 

When do you think of someone other than yourself? When do you forsake a desire to supply a need? When do you remember the “little person” when out and about. Do you stop to help someone in need? Do you find a way to make a conversation about you while being confided in? What is your contribution to this world?

“No man is an island” goes the adage…so can we act like it? Can we not wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas…Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day…or any other commercial holiday to give a damn about people? Can we treat this land we live and thrive on…like it is the ONLY island there is?

Please and Thank you in advance…

God bless 🙂

Deflecting the Reflecting

I started and restarted this blog a couple of times. I was gonna write on some ole boring shit…work cliques, to spin off the blog about the bus gang my mother rides with. *smdh* I was going to write about something funny…then something intellectual. I just can’t. I’m talking around the real issues that I’m dealing with daily nowadays.

In the past I was VERY reluctant to speak on a personal tone. I’m sensitive and I don’t like justifying or excusing away my life or my feelings…so rather than open up my wounds for the salt rubbing…I didn’t blog ME. I sit in awe of the ladies and gentleman who managed to put a personable side to their entries. Allowing us all a glimpse into human behavior and condition…if only long enough to make it ok to be normal…or not.

Lately, I’ve been trying to repress feelings of hurt and betrayal and disgust by putting a smile on my face. It was me trying to deal with the situation with class and dignity…believing if I didn’t show a bit of emotion, that I’d be ok. The reality of it is that I’m pissed. I’m hurt. I’m confused and I’m tired. I’ve always tried to be the strong one. For family and friends alike, I’ve always tried to be the cooler head and breath logic and calm into crisis and chaos. Being strong takes strength…and that strength comes from being replenished. Thank God, that I thank God and not man for that…because if I had to depend on MAN to make me stronger I’d melt into the floor.

I decided a while ago, that I’d be more personable. Bring more of ME into my blogs. Not just my intellect, humor, perspective and kiwi swagger *wink* but, the vulnerable side to me. The frailty of me and how at times no matter how much I know…that I too get lost. That I am capable of doing rash things in order to make sense of pain…and that I make mistakes. I want people to always see ALL of me and not the pieces of me that are nice and sweet. I want people to know that I can be a bitch. That I can be a brat. That even I have hypocritical ways. Yes, I too say one thing at times and do another. Anyone who feels like they never exhibit negative traits gets a hearty laugh from me. We all at one time or another place ourselves above a situation and aren’t willing to admit when we’re wrong. I’m no angel, but damnit if I don’t try to be above board at all times…so, when I’ve been done wrong…especially unnecessarily, it bothers me. I spend a long time working it out in my head for my own understanding. I know that I will prevail. I always do. I’ve been through worse…and my faith in God and my own strength have been the valiant horse that I’ve ridden into the sunset. Yippee Kai Yay &#*@!

So basically, I’m no longer deflecting from what’s really going on with me. I too bleed and hurt…and YES I can do all of that with the same class and style it takes to be reserved. ALWAYS a kween of the highest order.


Vending Machine

As usual, I came up with a blog concept while talking with a friend. She and I were talking about being perpetual givers. We spoke on unconditional love and its drawbacks.

Such as…you get taken for granted quite easily. See, if you tout that you’re the most unconditional-love-giving mofo around, people will begin to see that as a green light to neglect YOUR needs in return. I mean, why give someone love if they never seem to “need” it back? They’re a bottomless well, right? At least that’s what it seems to mean. The term or phrase of unconditional love basically means to give love without expectation of return or favor. Being that I am BIG on love…I try to live by this creed. I give people chances to be loved and to recognize at their own pace how to love me back. If they miss the memo…then I just forge forward, treating people as I normally do. I say, “I’m not responsible for someone else’s actions and reactions!” I govern myself based on my own conscience and capacity.

Yet that thinking tends to result in a pattern of neglect and loneliness. People are not machines. A person cannot continue to “vend” on someone else’s dime. No more than we should have expectations on the love we give, should one expect to receive it with a sense of entitlement. I mean…Who is there to replenish the “machine” when all the goods are gone? Can or better yet…WILL the people you love refill your well? Or maybe its quite possible that some individuals are indifferent to the love given to them…especially if they’re getting it from more than one source. Why should they care if you’ve exhausted your spiritual inventory?

Truth is, GOD replenishes. He refills you. However, even with God filling you back up…you are still human and flawed in that you eventually WILL want someone to return that love to you. It doesn’t make you any less a giver of love…just less of a machine.