…Infamous words of Tami Roman of Basketball Wives on VH1.
That was her first real encounter with Meeka Claxton. She doesn’t like for folks to “put their hands up” because it makes her “defense mechanism” go off and she feels the need to defend herself. That statement in the title of this blog was her first “warning” to Meeka that getting too excited would get her knocked the fugg out. I personally saw it more than once and I honestly don’t think that’s what set Tami off. I didn’t see Meeka’s hands go up, but hey…it’s all about perspective, right?
I’ve been watching it from the beginning. Reality TV is my guilty pleasure. It is not an indicator of my intelligence (so many people say that people who watch this kind of television have low IQ’s or are ghetto…I am neither) so that isn’t it. Since watching I’ve come to like and dislike certain people. I’ve come to like Tami and even Evelyn at times. Jen is kinda flaky, Shaunie is a sneaky mofo (c) embezzlement of her ex-husband’s funds. Royce is cool…a firecracker. Suzie is a shit-starter and Meeka is her protege it seems. By far, Tami is my favorite. Funny thing though…back when she was on Real World II, I liked her initially but then became angry at her when she got David ousted from the house. He was wrong, but I felt like it went beyond the normal reaction to the situation.
Now…the other night, Tami smacked/punched Meeka in the face. I totally get the reasons why she got mad. I for one am about thinking twice. Being the rash person Tami is, her gut reaction was to clock her co-star in the face. (The bish WAS tryna start shit…but, still). You have to learn to walk away from a situation like that. If you know you’re dealing with a dirty little, messy little liar…you expose her and ignore her. Like she says in this interview with Necole Bitchie…you’re given an option to whether you want to film with someone. If she didn’t want to deal with Meeka she could’ve put herself in a position of protection by not filming. The outcome of that folly…is the fight.
A lot of people online have been split down the middle with the occasional understanding of both sides. Some feel Tami is ghetto, over-the-top, crazy and an attention whore. Some feel that Meeka deserved everything she got being the messy, petty bish she is…some feel that the show in it’s entirety is a smudge on the already questionable reputation of Black people and especially Black women. This is where I stand on the topic…
In the REAL Real World…in the communities where sistas are from, Tami is a prize. In a world where chicks are back-stabbers and liars…to have someone shed light on any topic…however hostile, is still a breath of fresh air. Tami is not dumb by any stretch of the imagination. She’s actually bright and very articulate. She’s just
crazy as fuck got anger issues. LUH you Boo, but you need to touch on some anger management classes. At 40 it’s not cool to pop off on everyone who gets you mad. I know how frustrating it can be to have someone look you in your eye and tell you a lie like they believe that shit…and WANT to put your fist through their throat…but you can’t. There ARE consequences. Legally you can go to jail or be liable financially. Socially, you’re fulfilling the statistic that we’re just some wild animals who possess no self-control. In spite of her brash honesty, Tami will always be pegged the ghetto, classless one because of these episodes of “reality”.
Now…chicks like Meeka? She’s that chick you DO want to bash in her forehead. She’s the chick you can’t trust worth a damn and you find out down the road that you don’t even really know her. She came into the situation messy. Without meeting Tami or Royce she’d already put them in a bag. What was so funny about THIS is that, had she be an equal opportunity hater…she would’ve felt the same way about Shaunie and Evelyn. Shaunie TORTURED Gloria in the second season of BBW over something that wasn’t even Gloria’s fault. She should’ve taken her beef to Gloria’s sister about Shaq, but instead she menaced Gloria until she left the show. Evelyn did the same to Suzie. She may have had a point initially…Suzie runs her mouth too much…but, she made it impossible for that woman to co-exist. If you don’t like her…sit on the far side of the table, don’t bash her, nit-pick and argue each time you see her. It’s childish. Evelyn is also the same person who knew the entire time she was bonding with Tami…that she’d slept with her husband. Evelyn missed the WHOLE damn point and made it about the man. NO slowmo it wasn’t about the man!! It was about the fact that she knew she’d done it and didn’t feel the need to disclose that info to Tami upon their newly burgeoning friendship. Then proceeded to undercut her wife status with the “Non Motha-Fuckin Factor” remark. Yet, Meeka didn’t seem fazed by these things. She BADLY wanted to be on this show and wrote Shaunie more than once for the “opportunity” to be there. Why didn’t she prejudge Shaunie and Evelyn? Well we know the answer. She didn’t because she wanted to be IN the CIRCLE. So she took action against the two people who at the time were on the outs with one or more of the “Popular Bitches”.
If you know you’re dealing with a woman who would pop you in your shit at the first sign of beef…why then would you go IN on her? Did you think this wouldn’t happen? Or was that your plan, Meeka from the jump? …Disparage Tami and fill her spot while attacking her pockets at the same time? If folks are gonna bring attention to some shit…bring attention to her shit-starting ass because she loves drama EVERY bit as much as she claims Tami does.
How about bring attention to the Puerto Rican chick who flew all the way to California to dump water on a chick. Who this season threw an ACTUAL GLASS at Royce. She could’ve put her eye out, but no one is bashing HER. No, they’re choosing to go in on the Black woman.
What about the White chick, who can’t hold WATER for 10 seconds and runs her mouth every chance she gets. The CATALYST to issues between Evelyn and Royce, Shaunie and Gloria, Tami and well…everyone…yea.
YES sistas…we need to stop some shit. We need to think more and react less. This is true…but, we’re not the only chicks who go in. Watch Real Housewives of NJ, Orange County, Beverly Hills, Jerseylicious, Jersey Shore, etc. You will see shit being thrown and yes…even blows. It’s a WOMAN thing…not a BLACK WOMAN thing. WOMEN need to find their class and lady-like ways again. It’s imperative that we do that for our young daughters coming up with big eyes looking at us like a mirror.
Truth is…”we” can’t REALLY “afford” to let these things happen. Other races get to act a fool and the memory of those things are short and fleeting. It’s the NeNe Leakes’, Tami Roman’s, and Naomi Campbell’s who hit the headlines with negative feedback that get the backlash. Like I said in a previous blog…folks went in on A. Keys for her indiscretion w/Swizz Beats (lending NO accountability to HIS married ass) but, everyone LOVES themselves Angelina Jolie’s husband-stealing ass. Right? Matter of fact…some mag called Jennifer Aniston a home-wrecker for reaching out to Brad. Like REALLY? *smh at the utter hypocrisy of folks*
I pray that the lawsuit brought against Tami isn’t too detrimental to her pockets. I have to tell you…though I know she was wrong, I feel like Meeka was on some manipulative, premeditated bullshit to nudge HER way into the spotlight. It’s not everything it seems folks…pay attention to all sides…and remember, we’re hardest on our own. We don’t have to be…the rest of the world does a bang-up job for us.