Word 18: Huge


size is proportional…relative to big and small. a small dog is small to a big dog, but a big dog is small to something bigger.

“It’s a HUGE deal”
…then you find it’s petty.

“I’ve got a HUGE surprise!!”
…and it fits inside of a ring box…

“I’ve got a HUGE pimple!”
…but, it’s only noticeable to you.

“I’m a HUGE fan”
…okay, perhaps you’re a BIG fan. lol

I often find that so much of what we deem HUGE is often insignificant with proper perspective. Size is  relative to knowledge of smaller/bigger things.

perfect one

so close
but not quite
a few shades from right
seems to be
but leaning on, might
standing on standard
taller than most
boasting a twinkle
like a newly moistened coast

damn near there
 says the eyer
judging it’s flair
tilting to the rays
finding it’s best side 
and best ways
smiling on cue
not wilting under the dew
but always composed
bowing to few

splaying petals
delicate and fine
harmony played
in tune with whispers of time
graceful in scent
urging to be inhaled
subtly sweeping in
blanketing lightly like a veil

potentially perfect
sweetly supreme
is only true
for floral things
a lady such as i…
 kinda wrong, but so right
has petals that glisten
like covers of snow
in twilight…
perfect on the surface
enemy of the sun
i can never be
perfect one
**I write this because I hate to be viewed as if I’m perfect…but perhaps this is my fault. I didn’t know that displaying discipline and etiquette…not allowing for my emotions to be so easily read, not giving power to my soul over to anything other than God….could make me susceptible to inaccurate perception. I cry, I lose it, I panic, I get angry, I’m crazy, I’m a mess, I’m needy, I’m apathetic, I’m mean, I’m moody, I’m an asshole, I fuck up, I cuss *lol*, I don’t like people….and though these things are minimally me…they still exist within. Maybe, I need to display more of these parts of me…to become more human to people…that way…when displayed…folks won’t get scared, easily angered, disgusted or sensitive. I’m a flower, yes…but I’m the flower missing a petal or two…slightly leaning and still beautiful in spite of. Love me or leave me alone.**

Intuition or Paranoia…or BOTH?

For decades we’ve heard of the glorious sense known as intuition. That “feeling” that one gets when something is wrong (or right). It’s that sense that won’t quiet itself. No matter what logic or realistic objectivity you throw out…you simply cannot shake it. It’s called “your gut”…probably because you feel that funny fluttering in your stomach. Not quite butterflies, but something more like bats in the belfry. Annoyingly loud and restless…hungry for truth and revelation.

I have heard so many say that intuition and paranoia are two different things…but, I’m wondering now. The definition of paranoia has it defined as a psychotic disorder. It’s a baseless distrust of others…yet a definition of intuition is defined as direct perception of truth, fact, etc…independent of any reasoning process. Well clearly they both stem from and are motivated by feeling and not fact. No reason is involved with either…just a sense of something being “off” Now of course paranoia is also defined as being an “EXTREME and irrational distrust of others”. Intuition isn’t so much extreme as it is annoyingly present.

Yet, I feel strongly that one or the other can be something so much bigger than what is taken from it. I know personally that the smarter you are the harder it is to share your vision or insight. People call you crazy or weird. So, it stands to question if one’s intuition was so keenly tuned…that someone ELSE may conclude them to be paranoid or over analytical…so ultimately it is the perception of someone looking from the outside in that makes the difference. I am sure there is someone who was thought to be paranoid who proved a theory to be true. No one believed him/her and called them psycho and other ignorant monikers all to be floored by the final outcome.

I say…go with your GUT. If you really know yourself…you can discern from whether you are “paranoid” or insecure and far off the mark. Or if you’re on point with an intuitive notion that can lead you to a long pursued truth. Go where your spirit takes you.