Chit Chatter

It’s 3am…my witching hour…so of course I’m up.

Right now, I’m listening to the wind whistle Dixie…and an old episode of All My Children is on where I can remember being grossed out by the almost-love affair between Erica and Ryan. How you gone romance your daughter’s baby daddy? Ole cougar lookin’ ass…

Anyway…I’m up. Not mad either. I had a great Vicodin induced “nap”.  Oh, you don’t know what happened? Lemme update you:

~ So, my 40’s kicked the door in with a “probable meniscus tear” in my left knee (to be determined how severe w/an MRI) …did I write that in my birtsay blog? Probably. Either way…I’ve been hobbling like an 80yr old. What I’ve noticed is NOW…I’ve got pain in my right knee, because when you injure one side of your body…the other side will begin to get overused. So now…BOTH knees hurt.

~ I’ve had a tad bit of family drama (on the pappy’s side) and it’s had me in perpetual eye rolling mode for some time now. I’ll just say, “The LOVE of money is the root of all evil”

~ I’m learning to let go…I used to have SUCH a hard time letting go. I love so hard and want people to stay in my life whom I deem important, but when people let you go…you too, have to shake off the shackles of exhausted connections…and yes…even if it is family. I’m preparing myself to leave this earth SOLO…so, that means, if folks wanna act like my presence is optional…I will act accordingly.

~ Fancy Face Kreations has been my new baby for a while now…and with God’s grace and a chance from new connections, it will flourish. Click the link at the top of the page and see what we’re all about!!

~ Folks are hard-headed (random)…I swear you can’t tell folks NOTHING. I promise that I’m  learning to purse my lips and shush my thoughts. 40 gives you an almost automatic IDGAF license.

~ I’m kinda mad that the news reported that cats are killers. DUH..they have claws and teef. They have the hunter instincts like their bigger cat cousins and WILL put it in the life of a bird or rodent. It’s the cycle of life. Talmbout…humans need to keep their cats in the house. “The jail you made for Fluffy is the one you gonna rot in…”

~ Why folks keep messing with Bey? Let that child alone. Leave these CELEBS alone. They’re people too…learn some boundaries. Living a life in the spotlight doesn’t mean you get to invade them with your judgments. Mattafack…try this with ALL humans. Getcho own space.

~ Welp, I’m closing it out…not going to bed so to speak…but, ending my little midnight meandering. I’ll end up on Facebook playing Chefville until I can’t keep my eyes open.

Good night, Scopers. To you all in the line of fire of the bad weather…be safe. God bless. Return to me. 🙂

Suga Mama


Dear Beyonce’…

Though I love your James Brown spirit of being a hard-working Diva (the female version of a HUSSLA)…I got a gripe with you. It’s GOTTA be YOUR fault. Yep, I love me some Bey and those reading this will be in mouth-agape shock because they know I SANGS to your music and pops my area where the booty go, to all your stuff…but, Bey…

No for real…Bey…

Why you got some of these lazy lima bean menz out here looking for suga mamas and tryna get upgraded? Huh? They tryna get Audemar Piguet watches, dimples in they necktie, Hermes briefcase, Cartier top clips, Silk-lined blazers, Diamond creamed facials…VVS cuff links…Six star pent suites…all because you sang it.

Can you do a remix called, “Suga Mama’s Suga Papa”?

Love, Kween

All jokes aside…what in the cheap and lazy HEYELL is going on? I should NOT be doing back flips and cabbage patches around the room when I see a man who is about his business. I see my friends from HS who have grown up and are on their grown man B.I. and I dig it. It’s what they’re SUPPOSED to do, right?

So, I suppose some of these fools skipped class when they did Manhood 101?

Okay, before this becomes touted as a male-bashing blog…lemme dig in the ladies’ asses real quick. *getting spoon*

Sistas (Black, White, Asian, etm…) We have spoiled men. Whether we’re doing it financially or otherwise, we’ve become crutches to men who are able-bodied and mentally capable of being more than our sex partners. I’ve said before that the music/movie/TV industry has had a big impact on how our men weigh up what it is they want from us. Are they the only ones affected? No. We, too make decisions at times based on societal standards rather than what works for us and the life we live…the life we WANT to live. The standard is women who make their own and for us it’s guys who are sensitive and romantic. Yet, if we’re looking for romance and the best “O” we’ve ever had and NOT a man who is stable and independent, that can be a bad match. This isn’t about being gold-diggers or gigolos…it’s about remembering our roles. Not our traditional roles, so to speak…but, our God given roles…the ones that are primal and base instinctive. Men are by nature the hunters and gatherers and women are by nature the nurturers and bearer of children. Add this to today’s contemporary, feminist society and you get a lot of women who work and raise children…and a lot of men who don’t work but still manage to tap into the need to roam. Isn’t that some shit? Women are expected to evolve AND comply…men aren’t. We are STILL expected to birth children and keep a home, no matter whether we work a full-time job or not. Men however, have taken to getting over on their mates by allowing her to bring home and fry the bacon…while he eats and plays with Simba…

It’s our fault in a lot of ways. I’m all for paying for some dates…seeing something in the store that my man would love and purchasing it for him. That is love and nurture. That is thinking of him as I think of myself…but, if I’m the only one buying, paying, offering, sacrificing…while his money is his and mine is his, too…that’s enabling his selfish behavior. I am in that moment a co-dependent of his selfish, childish nature as well as exhibiting potential desperate tendencies. Allowing him to drain me of my resources because, “I love him”…while he either invests somewhere else or he just becomes a black hole of my “love”. BOYS expect mommy to pay. MEN expect his woman to pay only in an extreme case that he is not able to…he doesn’t expect it on a regular basis. Money is a tender issue and should be handled gingerly in relationships. It can be the end of an otherwise very positive union. When dude finally leaves…you’re drained of your resources, you have no man and you’re most likely bitter, too. Remember, in an uneven relationship…you’re most likely lonely already, so what do you have to lose?

Now, back to them…

Guys…really? I’ve gotta hand it to you. You may not be listening to Bey…but you just may be pumpin’ Ne-Yo’s “Miss Independent”…LOUDLY! You guys are good at sizing up the “easier” catch. Hmmm…*pulling out scale of choice* A woman I may have to take care of, work for/beside, become a better man in the process, step up to the plate for and with? Or…the chick who wants, needs and desires a warm body so badly that she’ll buy me, pay for me, etc? It’s not that hard. If a man is content in being stunted in his emotional dependency on a woman (red flag: mother issues), then he isn’t going to want to be with someone who commands his spirit to stand up and be the man in the equation. He IS going to gravitate toward the woman who doesn’t mind paying for his phone bill, the trips, the food, the rent…esp. if he is “pursuing” a goal yet to be named or reached. Easy beats out Hard…every time. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. Some women aren’t actually “buying” their men because she’s desperate or needy. Some are doing so, because she’s actually so generous that giving is second nature to her…but that is [unfortunately] a handicap in this day and time, because feeble men prey on that quality. In a sense…she doesn’t even KNOW she’s buying his affections…securing him in this fashion. Yet, it yields the same results…his laziness.

That’s the point. Not EVERY man knows how to accept a gift or ten from his lady and still remain vigil in his role as a provider. To still remember that a woman is one, whom in taking care of everyone around her…needs his strength to envelope her and let the world’s effect melt away with him…just the way we do for him (or should). We’re supposed to take care of EACH OTHER. Ladies, if you’ve been with a man long enough that you consider yourselves in a relationship, you’re monogamous, you’re “in love” and planning a life…and when you mention to your man that you’re struggling and stressed over finances…he gets silent or says he’ll pray for you and hopes it gets better? Reconsider. Reevaluate. Introspectively probe your relationship’s future and ask if you’ve chosen the right man. Like I said earlier to someone…”Men wanna get between your thighs, but they don’t wanna get between you and your bills.” Laying up in a woman’s place, eating her grub, loving her body and leaving isn’t the business of love…that’s the business of hooking up. It’s not about “paying for sex” so don’t go there…it’s about USING someone without the responsibility that comes with having a deep concern for them. Someone who has your best interest at heart is going to show up when the tough is toughest. Once, I was “planning” a life with someone for 2.5 years and ONCE he threatened to care enough to send me money…and didn’t. Truth is…whether I said, “I’m good” or not…the money should’ve showed up anyway. We have to remember that supporting a man doesn’t mean funding a man…it means inspiring him to be the best he can be. Trust that his success as a man is and will be a benefit to him AND you. If he’s gonna leave, he’s gonna leave…no amount of money…or sex for that matter will keep him. Have his back…but, try not to cripple him in the process.

Sooooo, Bey…I’mma need you to come get your boys….

Moments With Mahogany…and Chap…and Mama…lol

What it do, what it Do!! Alrighty…last night, I visited Mah’s 2nd show since returning to the Blogtalk arena. Her topic was “Love, Sex, Money and the drama behind it…”, where she correlated the way marriages/relationships affect money affairs…how sex is used (and it is) in love to get what you want…and drama.

I came with Butterfly Effect who made her appearance and then fluttered off to bed. Mah’s friends, Toshiko and Cocoa Carrington were in the building and the Mama came through, calling in to shut it down as usual. Later da Monstah and a few others came through, including DownSouthGaGirl. Mah asked me to call in so I did, which was cool.

One of the biggest things I do agree with the Mama on is that in a marriage a woman should hold her man down. PERIOD. Sex should never be denied, his ego should be stroked and she should definitely feel like in spite of being the one at home (if she does stay home), the wife should still feel valued and given control of the family and home’s affairs.

Then we headed off to Mr. Chap’s place over at the morning show site and had an after party, where the discussion continued. Somehow, Mama put me on the hot seat about boo-boo AKA SHIT and then farting, then farting during sex…then SQUIRTING! She decided to out me and say I’d never squirted based on my answer of no farting during sex. (still laughing at that) I was totally embarrassed, but it was all good. Then Mah, Mama and Chap roasted me good on a few rounds of “Gimme 5” which I sucked at. (blame it on the late night hour of 2am) LOL

I enjoyed myself with them. A good time was had and there was no question that we began winging it after a while. REAL fun is never scripted!

That’s Whats Up!