I’mma F%#K Cupid UP! (V-Day Repost)

I never did like that lil naked fucka. I swear, who in the hell does he think he is? Flying around with his “wings” (which I really think are figurative for his drinking problem)…shooting people in the ass with arrows dipped in love. What’s his GOT dayum problem? Taking it upon HIMself to infect people with HIS idea of love. See, this is that shit. He’s just perpetuating the scandalous propaganda known as commercialism and mass indoctrination of social conformity. Yes, this “holiday” is just for the moneymakers who feed off of people’s desires to be coupled up. Making those who aren’t feel as if they’re somewhat incomplete without a mate. First off, he helped disfigure the heart. The heart does NOT look like a “V” with ass cheeks turned upside down. The heart looks more like a bagpipe instrument…or a balled fist with severed digits. Then he took the beautiful art of poetry and turned it into some sing-songy, sappy, corny ass (but sometimes sweet) expression of romance. Then, they dragged the candy industry into it, by trying to seduce the masses of women with chocolate, only to hold it against them when the shit hits their thighs 10 days later. They also made sex obligatory…I mean, shouldn’t you get bucket naked ALL the time with your boo? Roll around, skin rasslin’ with someone tryna pin each other down with ya inside and outside parts? HMPH!

OH, lets not forget the FLOWER industry. WOW. They took one of the most beautiful expressions of Nature’s love…roses especially, and hiked the price for them up 200% the week of Valentine’s Day. All to take the glory out of receiving a bouquet of spontaneous display.

Basically…HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!! May you get a card, flowers, candy and some hot jungle monkey sex from the object of your affections!