Steps to Social Media Cleansing: How to Delete

first they’re sour…lol

If you’ve been on the Internet long enough, you know that as quickly as we add friends…we subtract them as well. The social media networks are proverbial revolving doors. One day you’re e-besties…the next you’re blocking/blocked. Fights and misunderstandings not withstanding…there are times when “the list” must get purged free of stale connections and dead weight.

I’m a sentimental sap and at times…that’s a bad thing. I’ve often kept people on my list because ONCE we were fast friends, ONCE we spoke all of the time, or we grew up together and knew each other when. It’s not enough though. Social media SHOULD be a tool to not only get to know each other, but to grow from the experiences. Networking is a big thing on the Internet and it serves as a wonderful ladder to success…possibly.

Ultimately, it boils down to what kind of operation you’re running. Here are 5 tips to find out what you should do and why:

~ Do you know this person outside of social media?
    Yes? Would you speak to them in person?
    Yes? Keep.
    No. Delete
~ Is this person a business associate or personal?
    Business? — Keep. (unless they’re not serving a purpose)
    Personal? — See above
~ Is there an unresolved issue between you and this person?
    Yes? Do you care to resolve it?
    Yes? — Keep and Confront [in your own time]
    No? Delete.
~ If you don’t speak…is there another reason you hesitate? (ie. Games, Family, etc)
    Yes? Keep only if you play said games or they’re family.
    No? Delete.
~ Lastly, Do they add anything positive to your day/life?
    Yes? Keep.
    No? Delete

Of course, there are so many other factors. If your friend doesn’t come on often for some life reason or another, it’s best to keep them if when they DO come around they’re a pleasant addition to your feed/timeline. If they’re not…then let go. If you’ve allowed an issue to fester and don’t know how to approach it…give it time. If it fades, it wasn’t important, if it doesn’t…delete.

I for one am not impulsive. I don’t get mad and delete for no reason. You have to violate my code of friendship or association. I’m not rude. I’m not a judgmental person. I mind my own business. So if you cross lines that I can’t deal with, I’ll delete you. I’ve made the occasional rash decision and I’m not proud of that, but for the most part when I’ve cleaned my slate…I’m confident in my decision to do so.

For me, this place on the Internet is as much about evolving and learning as it is adding friendships and networking. It means nothing down the road if what’s being discussed and dealt with today is the same shit from the year before. I choose people who grow with me and who have inspiration to dispense.

I suppose, having said that…it’s time to purge again.

Leave YOUR tips to social media “pruning”. lol

Hurricane Sandy, Numbers and Prayers

a pic made for one of the special ladies who wrote me gorgeous words on Monday

**Firstly, I’d like to say…God bless those who were severely hit by Sandy this week. I pray a prayer of recovery, comfort, healing and renewal. I thank God for those who came out of it alive and able to connect with their family and friends. Amen**

Where I live it’s a very mountainous and hilly area. There are few places here that suffer severe flooding, but with trees everywhere…we’re in constant danger of very large, old trees falling haphazardly. So far, all I know…were not hit. A couple of my friends in OTHER areas did suffer from trees hitting their homes, but thankfully they were not hurt.

We had a couple of brown-outs and had some flickering, lots of wind, and of course the temperature dropped. Other than that…Thank God, We’re here.

During the storm…in between the Internet going off and on I got online and was kept occupied by a #’s game on Facebook. It’s a game a lot of people love and loathe at the same time. Some complain about the flooding of anonymous messages in their feeds (I don’t see how that is any different than any other status, any other day…but, people ain’t happy unless they’re spewing misery onto others). Most enjoyed the fun of showing love and honesty about their friends anonymously.

Truthfully, I didn’t get many numbers in my box (I guess no one gives a damn what I think, lmao) and I didn’t place my number in anyone’s inbox who hadn’t already put one in mine. I didn’t want to get swamped with having to tell folks what I thought of them. I’m on some IDGAF mess and someone could’ve wandered into a shit storm asking me for my opinion. lol

However…I got some REALLY cool opinions. I mean, when you’re friend to most…you don’t always hear or see or feel how people view you. To have someone tell you beautiful things is a breath of fresh air. It’s not some weak need to be validated like some cynical folks would say. It’s about the fact that with anyone…you need to remind people what they mean to you because the “knowing” can get lost in the day to day minutiae. Having said that…here are the ones I got. I’ll keep them anonymous for the sake of the game, but if you happen to know us then you may already know. LOL


25555- I LOVES ME SO YOU! You are so encouraging! Whenever I’m down if you even sense it you drop the simplest line that truly makes a difference in my mood. I cannot wait to meet you in person and spend some sister time. You’re the epitome of a sisterfriend and I so wish you were closer. God gave you a warm caring heart and you share it with those who love you. Your prayers made a difference more than you know…. SMOOCHES BABY


#2139 Brought together by a liar and a cheater (I just sang that right there) You are my ninja!! I TOLD you we were gonna meet in 2012!! My zodiac sista, My sista from anotha mista, my spirit sista. 

I love that you have given me my space this year because I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going half the time, but if something is REALLY wrong, I don’t even have to make a call because you’ve already seen and felt it. Unlike other folks, I’m not scared of you because it is the Spirit working through you.

I love you dearly and look forward to hanging out with you again in the future (hopefully the airlines won’t jack my travels up next time! I love you dearly and talk to you soon!


2139 Ughhhhhhh! THIS chick!
How you gonna be ALL up in my head? You know good and well that it’s ALREADY crowded in there with all my other voices. The only thing that I can think to say to let you know how much you have come to mean to me is…..I trust you! And you know how much me saying that REALLY means. You have been the beautiful surprise that I never knew I needed. We twin so much that sometimes it’s hard to remember who originally thought or said what. Thank you for being one of the few who have allowed me to dispense with the cape & who accepts & loves me….faults, weaknesses and all. You’re a beautiful loving soul who deserves someone just as amazing as you! Love you.


#2139.. Man where should I start… You are so special to me.. We had a little disagreement at first. Just cause the lines of communication wasn’t there. Then once we cleared the air.. You have BEEN ONE HELL OF A FRIEND.. As I struggle and have my days.. It is you who knows what to say.. Sometimes you don’t say nothing but listen.. I need that at times too.. We might not be close in miles.. But you sure as hell close to my heart.. You are a very loving person. Any person that have you in their life has a piece of GOLD.. Amazing, Beautiful, Loving, Honest, Caring, Artistic, Intelligent etc, etc, etc… Heck I can go on all day about you.. I ♥ you to pieces….


#25555, I think you’re an awesomely talented individual who can come up with some serious pearls of wisdom. Not only that, but you’re very pretty as well!


from the very first time i read something of yours i knew i had to keep reading.. i love your wit..i love how you love your friends.. you are you with no questions asked. you are kind,real, and i appreciate the silent support that you give me. i cannot WAIT to hug you! …oh, and i DO count you as a sister!



My constant… 

My constant friend.
My constant support. 
My constant ear.
My constant sister.
My constant everything. 

You are the bestest! You listen to my bitching, my complaining, my love stories, my horror stories and you tell me what I NEED to hear, not what I want to hear. Not too many people do that and I need you to know that I appreciate and love you more than words can say. 


…and there you have it.

Love on a stormy night. Friends in anonymous rejoicing…giving each other positive affirmation of their cherished life force. Nothing is better than that. Loving people, being loved and being considered. These people reminded me that I’m doing something right.

On that night, we told each other we loved one another, we prayed for each other’s safety and we were stronger than even Sandy.

Peace and Love to you all.