Living with my mom and sis these past 6yrs has been a blessing. We’ve all managed somehow to conquer some demons based on things that happened in the past. My sister and I have become closer than we could’ve imagined and my mother and I have found some civility in our relationship. We’re closer than we were, but not quite where I’d like to be. I’d love to say that one day we will be, but because I KNOW my mother very well…her personality will NEVER allow for her and I to become respectful counterparts. My mother respects only those who she feels she needs to impress…and even then I feel its phony. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
My recent trip to Alabama showed me something. Independence. Not just mine either, but my mother and sister’s too. While I was gone, they were forced to do certain things, like cook for themselves…clean the kitchen…take out the garbage. Usually, I do all of those things and they sit back and ignore the menial duties around the household. I didnt have to worry or concern myself with cleaning a thing. I believe every adult should have that luxury. “I dont feel like cooking tonight, so I will have a bowl of cereal” No one should have to run around worrying about other grown folk eating unless they are elderly/disabled and need help.
Well, yesterday (Wednesday) my mother walked in from work and asked me if the trash had come. Well of course I look at her funny and say…I dont know. I asked what day it was and she told me. I said well, I didnt realize it was the first Wednesday of the month (the time for paper/boxes to go out). She seemed perturbed. Like I’d gotten on her nerves…but, it pissed me off because I am thinking, if you even THOUGHT about it this morning and yet you walked away thinking, “Kali will do it”…then you’re an ass. SORRY. She gets up the earliest and leaves by or before 7am…the time that the trash is usually already GONE! So, why come in at the 5-6pm hour and ask me that?
NOW. I set my alarm to get up THIS morning, because recycables go out on Thursdays. Plastic bottles, cans, etc. are picked up by 7am…so, I arose at 6:30am. I go to the back door to collect the bin and she sees me and says, “That was YESTERDAY. The trash was yesterday…everything was, because tomorrow is the 4th of July.” I just said, “Well, I didn’t know. I wasnt aware of the holiday.” Why should I? I don’t care about this holiday like that. I know its big on a LOT of people’s list, but not mine. Its another day to me. My question is this. If you KNEW, THOUGHT, or SUSPECTED that the schedule had changed due to holiday…why would you ask me about the shit YESTERDAY at a time of day it no longer mattered, then proceed to get twisted because we missed the opportunity to get rid of this JUNK!?
My issue is this…if you are able-bodied. Aware of the time of which this stuff needed to go, why didn’t you do it yourself? Why lump the SOLE responsibility of handling that onto me? I forget shit, just like you do. I do not concern myself 24/7 with the dates so that I can know when to dump trash and recycables! I live with 2 other people…people who are spoiled. So used to me doing stuff that they feel or seem almost incapable of managing menial chores. Is it beneath them? Do they feel “I” am, because I am home and they’re working? I contribute to this house as well. I deserve respect too. People who work everyday DO come home and clean and cook…but, my mother seriously sometimes treats me like a child who has chores.
I think I am ready to leave. It’s just a matter of time. I am gonna pray on it, and ask God to ready me for my exit…before all of that hard emotional work we went through to get where we are, gets trashed.