Subject: (No Subject)

Yea, you’ve gotten that inbox message…


The one by the dude who is going through the back door to say hi.


“I just wanted to say…that pic is nice. Didn’t want to get in trouble with the wife.”


HUH? WTF? How would you get in trouble for just saying that my pic is nice? Clearly…I’ve got both on my page. A classmate and her husband. The thing is this, though…why contact me at all? Either YOU have a history of crossing the line with your “innocent compliments”…or your wife is psycho. Either way…stay the hell out of my inbox.


If you are “in a relationship”, “married” or hell…even in an “open relationship”…don’t inbox me. There’s no cause to. Any communication that you might feel the need to have with me, should be done in the open. “Nice blog/note”…”Nice pic”…”Funny status”…any and all other communication is futile and unnecessary.


Wait…let’s ask THIS question. Why do people feel the need to befriend the opposite sex ANYWAY? At the grown up stage…aren’t we all friends with those we’re friends with? Save for the few very cool associates to seep through our circle’s walls…aren’t we pretty much at 30-40 good with whom we’re good with? I can understand finding SAME SEX friends…folks to hang out with. I’m confused though on why we NEED to make acquaintances with the opposite sex when we’re already in relationships. WHY isn’t your mate your friend? Why isn’t he/she enough? Why confuse your situation with something that might not even be worth the trouble?


Are you bored?


Unhappy?


A whore…whether that be an emotional/mental/physical whore?


Yes…you CAN be an emotional or mental whore. You can be the kind of individual who needs to be loved on or mentally fucked. Either way…can’t you do that with your man/woman? Why drag others into your uncertainty. If you’re not uncertain and are happy…what is the reason for needing to converse with a single woman in her inbox? Why don’t folks realize it just cuts down on the misunderstandings and drama to just MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!!!???


I’m not saying you can’t have friends of the opposite sex. I’m saying that there shouldn’t be anything to hide. I have a married friend, whom I speak with on the phone like a brother. We DM (Twitter) back and forth to check in and make sure we’re okay…but, he’s never gotten out of pocket. He has NO problem posting on my page on FB or Twitter that he loves me and that I’m beautiful. Why? It’s because he has nothing to hide. If his wife were to see it, she’d know better than to assume the wrong thing. She TRUSTS her husband.


If you have to inbox me to say hi…already your intentions are dubious (hence your needing to hit me privately) so you already know you’re wrong.


Maybe it’s me…what do you all think?

Cornballs, anyone?

I saw a dude today on my Facebook home page status this: “My man’s girl left him for a cornball…how stupid is that?”


WOW. Well first off, myself and a high school friend immediately wanted to know what IS a cornball? My girl said, that cornballs are what’s up at our age (iowno what age she talking on, lol)…but, I concurred to a degree. I said that “cornballs” tend to be more sensitive, attentive, respectful, etc…and not that I meant to infer his “man” wasn’t any of those things…but, just that there’s got to be a reason why his girl left him. If it were a man, leaving his chick for a “Plain Jane”…I’m sure that while the chick may begin some hateration…the dude would conclude that she was “handling business”. *rolling eyes*


When this dude DID define cornball…the words he used were as follows: unsophisticated, old-fashioned, banal, sensitive and corny of course. So, being considered the “human dictionary” in my family…I broke it down to myself. (I was on the way to work, no time to argue points, lol) 


Well…what exactly IS unsophisticated? This dude, wears the best gear, jewelry, blah and blah. He’s constantly posting male and female fashion. So to ME, I see already that his idea of sophistication is attached as much to material presentation…as it is attitude and style. (FYI: Style and Fashion are two TOTALLY different things).  Then there is old-fashioned. Now, I don’t have a problem with that. I hope the “cornball” isn’t kicking it in crushed linen suits and gators from the 70’s…update that papi. LOL…but, for the most part, when I think of old-fashioned…I think of a person who has old time values. Next…Banal? Well, banal is simply put…”common”. That’s just average. That’s like saying…”Kiwi isn’t dumb, nor genius…she’s average smart.” Well what in the hell is wrong with that? For the record…being OVER the top is OVERrated. A lot of folks stuck on themselves could learn a LOT from an average cat. Who is ANYONE to defer judgment onto someone else as being less than, especially based off of a superficial quality that can come or go…not like a true moral foundation, which is ingrained in you for life? I’d rather be an average “Joe”…getting what I need and owing little, than to be styling and profiling and not able to pay bills…not saying this is HIM, but come on, son! 


Then, sensitive…well, unless he’s crying over EVERYTHING…constantly whining about life or has no sense of backbone or sign of his XY chrome…then I’m imagining sensitive means he cares. That he has a heart and isn’t ashamed to be vulnerable. THAT takes strength. Only WEAK ass folks hide their vulnerabilities and pretend to let everything slide off their backs. No one is impenetrable. We’re mere images of God…and remember that IMAGES…can be distorted. It isn’t ALWAYS a crystal clear representation of the original form. Finally, we come to the word corny. Well, maybe it’s just me…because I like nerds, silly jokes and a man who isn’t afraid to let himself go. I love laughing at the mundane…making something everyday ordinary be outrageously funny with some imagination. I like a dude, who will say…”Babe, today is the anniversary of our first kiss”. I like someone who remembers that I love pens and journals and brings me home one tucked in his coat. Corny is sometimes endearing and heart-warming.


You know…I sat there and shook my head until I walked INTO the office. I really did walk 20mins to work, rattling this off in my head. First off, I’m not impressed by material. Show me TRUE, unwavering, shameless, all-consuming love. Show me LOYALTY, TRUST, HONESTY, DEDICATION and RESPECT…and I will indeed be impressed…as long as it’s consistent. Don’t start nothing you can’t finish with me. At 37, I’m done with lip service. SHOW me! Hmph! I digress…but, yea…this got to me. Sophistication? I wanted to ask cat, “Does your INCOME outweigh your OUTGOING?”.  When assessing your credit, liabilities and assets…do you come out on TOP? Are you flossing a fine luxury vehicle while either living with moms…or living in a  rented space or do you OWN? If you aren’t balling out of control and coming out on TOP of your bills…then guess what “PAHTNA”? You ARE average…and seemingly a CORNBALL. The worst part…is you don’t even KNOW that. Like I said, give me a hard-working blue-collar man who provides and comes home at night. Who is a great father to any potential children…who loves on me sufficiently, and who is my best friend in the world. Give me THAT cornball…because if a sophisticated, snobbish, judgmental asshole is the other option…I’ll pass!


By the way…did you catch that this man was somewhat in his feelings about his FRIEND being left for a cornball? How sensitive!! LMAO

Chicks, Butterflies and Hamsters


So, who HASN’T been on Facebook yet? It’s the DEBIL I tell ya…lol. I got this page a over a year ago at the urgency of my friend, Tish. She swore it was so much fun…but, I hated that I had to ok apps left and right and that I couldn’t do more with the page. So basic…*sigh*. Fast forward to a few months back, my family begins filing in…starting with my cousins in college. Next thing I know most of my immediate family and closest friends are on my page. THEN comes the elementary and high school folk. Well, just a few days ago…a friend found me there and within a 36hr period of accepting her request, she posts a class picture from our 6th grade class. Now, we were in “the smart class”. It was called IH (Intermediate Humanities). We experienced a few things that most didn’t. We incubated eggs and got baby chicks in 21 days. We were then given the opportunity to take a chick home over night, but that was a special privilege for the ones who earned it (I took home a lil yellow one). We also got to feed larvae, watch it morph into a caterpillar and eventually cocoon into a butterfly. Releasing them was bittersweet. I wanted to keep mine…but, of course they must fly. We had a pet hamster as well…CP (Class Pet). HE was fawned over until he had see through babies. LOL I remember how a few of the girls and I drew in a sketch book and created stories.

I remember how, Mrs. Brown our teacher (my favorite) would allow a few of us to “stay up” for lunch in the empty classroom. We had a huge class on the 3rd floor adjacent to the music class…and we had a stage. I remember dancing and singing on that stage with the girls, doing Michael Jackson’s latest steps.

I had such great memories attached to these people. One guy, Mike Phillips…told me today that he thought I was sooo sexy, because he loved the way I carried myself in my pics. Unafraid to let people see who I really was (instead of posting old ass pics) LMAO. Mike was the kid who kept his instrument…a sax with him 24/7. He had a crush on me in elementary…which must have been LOVE…cuz he beat me up after an altercation in class. LOL. He got amnesia and “didn’t recall” whooping my ass…but, that niggum shut my eye. (I think I embarrassed him). Oh, Mike went on to sign with Hidden Beach Records and has played alongside such artists as Jill Scott and Prince. I am so proud of him…his dedication to his sax, something a lot like Lisa Simpson’s…has paid off and he’s living his musical dream. Good for you, Mike!

I also found my friend Renee’, who as we were leaving high school had fallen ill with renal failure. She was my ROLL DAWG! Circumstances moved us apart and in spite of several attempts to contact her…we drifted. I dreamed of her often, wondering…praying that she’d recovered. Finding her was indeed a blessing. She’d lost so much weight and was barely recognizable…except for that smile. Wide and strong…that smile hasn’t changed.

…There is a down side to these reunions. Within the last few months…a young woman from that class picture up there died. Rachel Mack had leukemia and succumbed recently. Finding that out was heartbreaking. I remember us kids going to Rachel’s house for lunch, which was only 2 blocks away from the school. She and I used to compete for who had the best penmanship…I won. LOL What’s so weird is that I’d dreamed of her as well a few times in this past year. Almost in excess…which of course further freaked me out. She was in every class I was in from K to 6.

Rachel…rest in peace, girl. I remember you well. God bless your spirit and your family’s, too. Like the butterflies…I pray your soul flies high.