The Fifth Day…

wearing that ring…

…the day you first fell in love

I used to say that it was when I was four and fell in love w/my first. I’m gonna keep it real with you. So, here it goes…

When I first fell in love with the first wasn’t at 4. That was puppy love…a crush. I think I fell IN LOVE with him back then when he kissed me up against the wall in the middle of the night, while his hand was on my 11yr old boobs…

Nope, let me try again. I think I fell in love with him…when we were watching a movie in the dark with his sister and he reached around her for my booty…lol

Nah…okay, maybe it was when got on his knees between my legs and unsnapped my…wait, no.

Perhaps, it’s the day that I feel like we went from having sex to making love and he made me feel like a woman…no?

Damnit. Okay so maybe it was when he first sang to me. ~sigh~

Maybe it wasn’t him. Maybe it was the other guy. See…I’m thinking I had my first mixed with my first love. The fella I spoke of up there, was the first to kiss my lips, feel my hips and deflower me. He was the first to give me fuzzy feelings and the first to break my fragile teenage heart…but, the first time as an ADULT was probably in 2007.

In 2007 Mr. Mic had entered as a friend via the Nets. We talked a lot and I dug that. I wasn’t looking for love at all. I didn’t mind his conversation, but I was very aware that he was the object of a lot of ladies’ affection. He was charming, concerned and comical…and that’s valuable to women.

He’d sung to me, but that wasn’t it. He’d told me he loved me…and that wasn’t it. He’d cut off a lot of people, giving his time to me with undivided attention [for a time] and he called me everyday in the beginning. I think when I realized I’d fallen in love was when I found myself singing his music one day and smiling big. A song I had written a verse on. It probably was in early January of 2008 near my birthday.

It was an Internet love though. It didn’t manifest past these bits and bytes. Many asked what it was that made me love him…some even doubted that you could fall in love on the Internet. I say…if you can be with someone who mistreats you, cheats on you, lies to you…in your face, why can’t I fall in love, join spirits and share a heart…sight unseen? What makes your tangible, physical love more important than my ethereal love that brought me out of my shell, introduced me to people I love to this day and gave me a song in my heart for 2+ years? Who can replace that?

Nothing…

…and nobody

11 thoughts on “The Fifth Day…

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