28~ Heart Over Heat?

If you had a choice between a love relationship and just sex [guaranteed]…which would you choose?

Right now, I don’t know…

I really don’t. I’m at a point in my life where I’d just kill (not literally) to have my carnal desires fulfilled and left alone. I ain’t in the mood to have someone demanding of me a return of my affections all for them to get what they need and leave me wanting. It’s a cynical way to view it, but it’s been my experience the last few times I’ve been in a romantic entanglement.

What I miss about being “in love” is very simple. I miss the spooning at night, the tender kisses and the feeling of someone being concerned for me…needing to make sure I’m okay. I miss those things immensely…

Yet, I at times just need to be stroked right and put to sleep. Give me a kiss and go.

I’m torn. I am. The heart of me…the believer in love and relationships wants to be wrapped up and embraced daily by the nuances of love. I want to have breakfast with someone, plan a day of leisure, lie back in someone’s arms and nap, read together…just BE together…even if we’re just doing separate things in the same room…

The scorned part of me, just wants to be pleasured and have some go-to penile cord and that’s it! Just get sexed down and then be free to go on about my business without the tethers of love’s responsibility.

I think that a loveless sexual relationship with someone is lonely.  With all of my need to be in control of blocking painful situations…so I won’t end up alone nursing a broken heart, still garners loneliness. Once that person leaves and goes home…there is still no one to care. No one to whisper security into your soul…and that’s something I can’t quite get past.

I don’t know…maybe for now…I’ll just take the sex and reserve the right to change my mind at a later date. LOL

4 thoughts on “28~ Heart Over Heat?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s