11~ Silly Of Me

I’m sorry, this shit was hilarious!!

Whom (no names, if you prefer) did you love, who didn’t love you back?

~sigh~

I could kick myself in the ass for asking some of these questions…really.

Now that I’m reading the question, it’s so different. I understand that because someone doesn’t love you back the way YOU want them too, doesn’t mean that they didn’t love you to their own capacity. People do better when they know better and if someone has always had dysfunctional love with no core sense of true love (whether it be family or friends) they might not ever really get it. Perhaps they walk away with the lesson and do better with the next. Who knows?

My first love didn’t love me the way I hoped. He was ashamed, it seemed to be seen with the chubby girl from across the hall. I didn’t have a Coke bottle shape, the longest hair (back then my hair wasn’t as long as it is now), the designer clothing, etc. I was a simple girl, living across the hall in the PJ’s with my grandmother…and though I had things, I didn’t have the things that kids prized above everything else. I was a “nerd” (they use geek now…back then, I was a goody-two shoe NERD). I was smarter than your average bear and often had a perspective of an adult. Not someone you wanna take to a teen/adolescent party. I’m going to church every Sunday, singing in the choir and have a mom who will kick a door in to find me…so yea. I wasn’t the one you wanted to tiddlywink with if you weren’t serious. I get that now, back then…it stung like a hornet’s kiss.

Recently, he put me in my place. He told me that we had one of the best relationships he’s been in because we had the friend AND lover aspect and still had a great deal of love for one another. It shocked me, but gave me a closure I didn’t even think I still needed.

The other person…well, fuck him. His loss.

11 thoughts on “11~ Silly Of Me

  1. Yeah, this one was killer. I admit that I half-assed my answer. Didn't want to look back and see how much of a fool I was.

    S/N: why, after Alex O'Neil's tooth fiasco, is my verification word “summa”? As in summa Alex's teeth are missing?

  2. Budda~ I think we all are struggling with this one. It's not easy to say to ourselves, let alone out loud.

    Mah~ I do know…((HUGS))

    God'ess~ I'mma need for you to stop it!! THUGA! lmao

  3. my ex-wife was my first love and I tried like hell 2 hurt after we divorced, but I just couldn't….ppl were always waiting 4 me 2 zap, but I just couldn't…I've been thru so much sh t growing up that nothing suprises me and know one can disappoint me…in the end my love for myself allowed me 2 move on…I know ppl probably think that I'm in denial, but I'm happy inside and out…I enjoy being the underdog (keeps it moving wit a smile that will piss u off) Kill'em wit kindness Is how i got closure

  4. Yea, but your love wasn't completely “unrequited”…you'd been married to her. Your pain was relevant and valid…

    This dude never acknowledged any real feelings for me until almost 19yrs after our last time together. That is unrequited for yo ass. lol

  5. I am STILL working on mine… This one hurt me to my core and I hat to admit that it still sorta does… He was an ass and I hate to go down that road but maybe it is what I need to just be DONE with it altogether….

  6. Love Shades~ That is the whole point sis…but guess what. You can WRITE it, but not POST it. You feel me? If you choose to…great, but if you don't…you still confronted it. (((HUGS)))

    Lee~ If it's too painful, no. You don't have to. ((HUGS))

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