I’m here…Random as hell, but I’m here

I feel a little…well a lot shitty today. I guess I’m not immune from being sick. My kween status has been disrespected. I, da Kween…am coming down with “something”.

I haven’t been “sick” for a while. Save for some aches, pains, headaches and exhaustion from time to time…I haven’t been, “Call the doctor” sick in some time. I’m still confused as to how the germs got past the anti-bacterial shit and the washing of the hands and the 409. Perhaps it’s just the change of season as everyone has said. Either way, I need a day off…thank God my annual physical is tomorrow or I’d be up a stank rank and dank creek.

Anyway…here’s some Miscellaneous Rhetoric for you guys. I guess when you’re grumpy…everything annoys you. Especially at the job.

~WHY on God’s gaseous ball of rock and liquid…does one of the supervisors at my job INSIST on being >>thisclose<< to me. This chick locks eyes with me every time she passes…even if I'm trying NOT to look at her…somehow she's in line of sight. O_O 

AND…why does she insist on pronouncing my name “Kay-lee” instead of “KALLY”. I told this hoe…make it rhyme with Sally…alley…use it in a sentence and don’t forget it. I am convinced she’s intentionally fucking my name up. How about I stop calling her Laurie and call her Lauren for a week. You think she’ll get it, then?

~There’s a chick at my job who I’m convinced is a candidate for a mainstreaming program. She kinda reminds me of “Lurch”…with her lankiness and her almost strange features. (scanning Rolodex of animals she may look like) Rhino? Is that it? Anyway…I SWEAR I’m not usually this mean, but she’s a pain in the ass. She either smokes or has asthma and either way she’s breathing harder than a fat dude after sex. Talking to customers a mile a minute and then taking one huge GASP…and then continuing. She laughs like a bass-toned hyena on hallucinogens…and most of all…she’s all UP in your business but SUPER vague and private with her own shit. She also has the tendency to ask me to do the most nonsensical clerical tasks, to which I almost always respond, “Get someone else…I’m busy”. I know, I know…Kween is mean. *rolling eyes*

~ Caucasian and Latino folks…I love all kinds…but, I have a VERY special PSA for you: Quit wearing flip flops and open-toed shoes into the damn winter!! You look stupid with a parka on or a raincoat/overcoat on in the rain and snow and your ass got your cracked and ashy ass heels out in some summer sandals. STOP IT!!

~ THIS face —> O_O …is the International face for WTF, I don’t care, or I don’t understand the dumb shit you’re saying. If I look at you like O_O…your best best is to STFU and walk away…

~ Don’t ask me what I like or want and then proceed to tell me that either that’s stupid or well, I don’t have that…take this. Um…don’t make me morph into my dolphin persona and fin slap the shit outta you.

~ Learn some etiquette. Yes. ETIQUETTE! It’s the way of doing things, appropriately, diplomatically, mannerly and with flair. It’s the way of engaging and responding with class and sophistication, rather than like a hood rat or a child with no home. This includes but is not limited to, proper communication (preferably private) when you have an issue with someone. Your friends should not have to read your status to see what they did wrong. Your family shouldn’t have to read your status to find out you’re engaged/married. Don’t make me pick a switch and welp you folks into some ack right. *smh at FB’s fuckery*

~ Quit lying, pretending, putting on airs, etc…the truth oozes from your pores whether you know it or not. You might have popped a piece of gum to hide lunch…but, the garlic is all in your pores (analogy). If you’re real with you (because God already knows)…then don’t be afraid to be real with the world. I don’t want to be around, in love with or friends with a SOUL that I’m afraid to be real with. Love me or leave me be. Be you or die a spiritual death.

~ Some random questions…

*Why is Gina Neely so loud?

*Is Pat cute or what? lol

*Why am I so happy that the lady next door finally got her window replaced after a month or more? You would think she drove me to work…

*Why can Chinese folks make damn near everything? Burgers…Mexican…wtf?

*Why do I feel helpless now that my electric toothbrush died…like I forgot how to do it without vibrations…

*Why are my summer sandals still sitting at Joy’s office O_O

*Why have I been dreaming non-stop for 2 weeks that my 1st love and I are married…and last night’s dream had him rubbing my belly with lotion…you know…to keep it from itching during pregnancy? O_O

*Is my mom making that chicken soup yet? I hungry. (Yes. I said “I hungry”)

signed — Da Kween (so y’all will know it’s me and not some hacker blogging random shit)

7 thoughts on “I’m here…Random as hell, but I’m here

  1. @Budda~ Sorry about the coughing fit. I hope you're feeling better 🙂 I am beginning to…mom's magic chicken soup!

    @CG~ Probably, Mel. Between the heaving breathing rhino and the super VISOR O_O with HER hypochondriac ass…I didn't stand a chance. LOL

  2. *Why is Gina Neely so loud?

    Because she's Southern. We have a tendency to think other people will bypass our accent if we speak loudly.

    *Is Pat cute or what? lol

    A man that can cook and looks like he's ready to make love to his woman right there in the kitchen in front of the cameras? Hell yeah, he's cute.

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