A Verb Doing

“When you love someone so much, that it makes you want to change and be better FOR that person…and them you, that’s a special thing” ~ Jennifer Lopez (loosely translated)

Yea, This is my first blog in a while and it was inspired by watching “Behind The Music: Jennifer Lopez”. I love me some J. Lo. I was down for her as a Fly Girl. I loved her when she began acting, especially alongside my boys Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson. I even loved her in Blood and Wine with Jack Nicholson. Of course…I really fell in love with her movie style when she played slain Tejano singer, Selena Quintanilla-Perez in “Selena”…to date one of my favorite biopics. She really became Selena and it was a beautiful transformation that segued into her own singing career. Watching Behind the Music chronicle her beginnings and her present…was emotional. She’s so spontaneously romantic…and it reminds me a lot of myself. She fell in love a few times, marrying twice before Mark Anthony, ALMOST married to Ben Affleck…and finally finding her way back to someone who she described as being her “best friend”.  I have to say…I was wowed by the fact that this woman had in spades what many woman wait a lifetime for to happen ONCE.  To be the apple of a man’s eye and garner his love…enough so that he wants to make you his wife…is a beautiful thing. If nothing else, Jennifer has lived a rich life of love and full experiences…and that is so sweet.

I normally don’t pen blogs about celebrities…especially their love lives. Lately, I find myself straying. I think quite possibly…that is because people tend to structure the hopes of love and romance onto what they see in movies, hear in music and have placed in front of them.  What brought me to tears was the beginning statement of this blog.

…I don’t think one should HAVE to change for someone…but, I DO believe that the truest of love, pushes your boundaries for growth. It makes you stronger, braver,more faithful, confident, selfless, and propels you into flight. I believe that what takes place FIRST is an embracing of that person as they are…because that is the groundwork for them trusting you implicitly to love them whether they ever change or not…and THAT makes them want to go above and beyond.  I know that I did that with someone.  I had a love with someone who made me less shy, less conservative, and a lot more comfortable with just being myself. I didn’t feel the need to “be smart” or “be sweet”. I was just Kali. I hope I did the same for him…but, one never knows…until they do. I always hoped that loving him would enable him to trust US enough to break free of the need to shield himself from whatever disappointment he was waiting for to snatch it all away. I hoped that he’d trust that I would love him no matter what he showed me about himself…but, you can’t MAKE people trust you. You can’t convince people of anything they aren’t ready to learn…and you definitely can’t change someone’s core issues. That is a job between them and God. All you can do is be a limb of support.

Love is a verb doing…and like J. Lo’s quote implies…love of the deepest kind, will make you break free of your own comfort zone to be what that other person needs. There is no prideful play on “who is in charge” or “running shit” or even a test of wills to see how much you can put someone through to test their love. It’s simple and effortless…that desire to be with that person. To quote Darius from “Love Jones”…”I love you…and that’s urgent like a mothafucka!“.

When someone loves you…they do all they can within their power to be with you. There are no excuses. Yes, sometimes the timing can be all wrong and two people have to walk away and return fulfilled and wiser…like Mark and Jennifer. SOME times…you just have to chalk it up as a loss and move on, loving them enough to wish for them the happiness they deserve. Either way…love is doing something…moving spiritually through two people making things happen and shift. It is all in the way it’s handled and the actions taken…NOT the intentions or hopes. I’m learning every day that love is even more precious a commodity than ever…especially for myself. I’m “doing” what I can to make me better…for me.

te amo mi corazon

I love this song by J. Lo. It always makes me cry. She may not have a powerhouse voice, but this is sung so sweetly that it’s almost a lullaby.

7 thoughts on “A Verb Doing

  1. I'm a big fan of J Lo too and watching her (2x) on BTM made me think of one of my fav quotes.

    “The purpose of love is growth and the benefit of growth is love.”~Kenya K Stevens

    She is truly a “grown” woman who has used her love opportunities well.

  2. You hit the nail on the head, as always. Reciprocity and a willingness to do what it takes is major…like a mofo! lol

    Can we get some more frequent posts, please? Thanks, Management :-).

  3. @ Dai~ I love that quote. Yes, she did…Jen learned what “fit” right…and along the way she enjoyed life. That's what it's all about, right?

    @ CG~ LOL @ Major like a mofo…YES, Ms. Mel…I will do what I can. Just been recuperating from a lot of loss this year. I'm finding my way back. Thanks for being here waiting for me. LOVE you for that. ((HUGS))

  4. How about this? I can't wait to grow and evolve with someone I love. But, I won't be the one doing all the changing. Seems like every time I get into a relationship, I'm the one doing all the changing. I turn around and I don't know who I am and he doesn't know me either. We will change together.

  5. Exactly, BE…that's my entire point. To grow together because of each other. Loving each other enough to change with the love and not be so stubborn to change that you miss your blessing.

    You shouldn't change at someone else's request. I've done that, changed to suit someone's needs and spent almost 9yrs of my life in a personal hell. Never again.

  6. This is one of the BEST definitions of love I've read in a very long time. LOVE is an ACTION…it does…That line from Love Jones is my favorite line of the entire movie!

    You are a Queen after my own heart…

  7. Oh love such a slippery creator…I'm ready for it tho and I'm ready for him. I'm with BE I'm not gonna be the only one changing/evolving must be mutual. Great write sis

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