Are You Selfish? Or Just Phony?

I…its what selfish people think about most of the time. Their motives are always driven by the concept of self-gratification, self-preservation…self, self, self. I do indeed understand the idea that one must love oneself as much or more than others. That the martyr role is overrated and giving yourself the love you desire is important in showing others how to love you as well. Those are basic instincts…to want to survive. Yet, when does it make sense to look around and survey your surroundings?

I’ve noticed how people can be so self-absorbed that they never recognize anything going on around them or in other people’s lives. I notice how those same people seem to love pontificating on the importance of life, love and awareness of the human struggle. I’ve also noticed that some of those people are undeniably hypocritical. It’s almost like having people fight for animal rights and world causes and be hateful to their fellow man. Speaking of a love for things that cannot take care of themselves or voice their needs, but disrespect the needs and lives of those who can. All too often, I see people talk great game about their human interest and intellectual opinions on the world’s events…and be totally clueless about what is going on in their personal microcosm.

I often wonder how many people take on causes, pursue current events and speak on the different things of importance…all to feel important. To deflect from their own personal journeys that they avoid embarking on. I mean, isn’t it a better cause to be all about saving the seals and preserving the lives of cows instead of going home and facing lonely rooms and empty walls with no pictures of loved ones? Or you use the plights of others to deflect from what’s eating you? Isn’t that selfish? To use other people’s lives to dictate, coach from the background and judge so that you don’t have to deal with where you fall short? Don’t you all think its about time to remove the masks of denial and selfishness and deal with personal shit the way you effortlessly handle others?

When I ask are you selfish or phony…that question is asking this: Are you so selfish that you just do not care about others? Or are you such a phony that you pretend to not see what is in front of you because you’re too cowardice to face your own inadequacies…leaving you to focus on the outer world. Are you so phony that you’ll put on a great face to save face? Blindly “band-wagoning” with other’s philosophies in order to hide the fact that within the causes you champion, lies your own weaknesses?

This was one of “those” blogs. I found myself reading a few things that simply made me upset. I see people claiming to be one thing…asking for one thing…DEMANDING one thing…and not reflecting their persona. Not reciprocating. Not having the balls to stand up and be what it is they speak of. I saw Notorious the other day…the story of Biggie Smalls. In one part of the film it is said, “We can change the world…” and the immediate response was, “In order to change the world, we must change ourselves” If you’re constantly focused on the world’s problems, the state of current events…all to the neglect of personal introspection, you ARE part of the problem. One’s fervency for knowledge and passion for spreading discovery will not change the world. It’s knowing yourself, being yourself and being real about who you are WITH the world that fosters change. THAT way…you’re working in and out, instead of needing the world to change for you.

Think about that…

4 thoughts on “Are You Selfish? Or Just Phony?

  1. This person is not only selfish and phony; they are heartless. Period! You made so many great points. I feel you all the way. Sort of the same way we went after the middle east after 9/11; we should have handled things at home first. So true. We have to be working on self so we can be a part of the change that needs to happen around us. My God…HALLELUJAH! I felt like shouting reading this blog. People that are not helping with the person they are tend to hide behind others’ agendas and ideas; while lashing out at those closest to them…pointing out their every flaw.. This blog needs to go in the best blog hall of fame yo…no lie.Love you girl!

  2. I’m glad you enjoyed it! I was up in the middle of the night blogging for blogging’s sake. I just have been seeing a lot of different things that have been weighing on my mental. It was more a rant than anything.Love you back, sis! 🙂

  3. Stopping by to show some love. You know I haven’t been on the blog scene for a minute and the only reason I am on Twitter is because I am getting the updates through my phone.But back to the blog.I am loving it. To say you were doing a middle-of-the-night blogging venture somehow made it even better. This really sounds like a piece that needs to be in SOMEBODY’S magazine. I hate that some of my favorite blogs that I want to read I can’t because my sister sent her computer WAY off to Augusta to a friend of hers who fixes computers and she have no idea when she is going to get it back. Hmm…I’m shopping on Craigslist right now so I can first get that laptop and I can stay on top of the internet blogging…you know how it goes….live, local, and late-breaking!

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